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Feb. 2nd, 2006 08:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickI found an additional fifty-two cents in Lauren and Tom's apartment today. Two quarters (!) were behind the fridge, the pennies were nestled in a crack between the trim and the wall. I also removed every bit of fucking wallpaper border in the apartment. All of it. The flower garlands with maroon background? Gone. The apples in baskets that adorned the kitchen? Gone. The mismatched DIFFERENT flower garland shit in what we will have to refer to as the hallway? Also gone.
Y'know, if landlords ran the world, things like wallpaper borders, contact paper, and nails larger than finishing size would be controlled substances. You'd have to present the deed to your property or written permission from your landlord to purchase such things.
If you, personally, ever get to the point where the cow-and-gingham wallpaper border in your kitchen will drive you to murder twenty people at a local fast food joint if you have to look at it over your english muffin and grape jelly for even one more day, you might appreciate knowing that wallpaper borders come off the wall (without damaging the wall) if you soak them with a sponge of hot water a couple of times and then attack them with a plastic scrunchie scrubby thing. I'm told that there is some kind of spray that you can buy to remove wallpaper borders in a no-hot-water-or-scrubbing sort of way, but I don't think it's for the levels of industrial wallpaper border removal that I am confronted with. Generally, when tenants get a wallpaper border fetish, there's no stopping them until all the borderable surfaces in the apartment are decorated as tackily as possible. Frequently, this includes cabinets and doors.
Some days I just want to shout to the world that not everyone wants cutesy fucking teddy bears around the top of the kitchen. *sigh* Honestly. You want the second bedroom in your apartment decorated with a wallpaper border of pink fucking toe shoes because YOUR little ballerina is six. However, when you move out, you dumb fuck, I'll be renting to a single mother and her fifteen year old son who's into german death metal. Unless I am very wrong about the general tenor of german death metal, I don't think HE wants a wallpaper border of pink fucking toe shoes. That's why you can't have it -- if you put it on there, then I have to take it the fuck off before I rerent the place so that the person I'm showing it to doesn't have to look at YOUR fucking territorial pissing all over the walls.
Y'know, if landlords ran the world, things like wallpaper borders, contact paper, and nails larger than finishing size would be controlled substances. You'd have to present the deed to your property or written permission from your landlord to purchase such things.
If you, personally, ever get to the point where the cow-and-gingham wallpaper border in your kitchen will drive you to murder twenty people at a local fast food joint if you have to look at it over your english muffin and grape jelly for even one more day, you might appreciate knowing that wallpaper borders come off the wall (without damaging the wall) if you soak them with a sponge of hot water a couple of times and then attack them with a plastic scrunchie scrubby thing. I'm told that there is some kind of spray that you can buy to remove wallpaper borders in a no-hot-water-or-scrubbing sort of way, but I don't think it's for the levels of industrial wallpaper border removal that I am confronted with. Generally, when tenants get a wallpaper border fetish, there's no stopping them until all the borderable surfaces in the apartment are decorated as tackily as possible. Frequently, this includes cabinets and doors.
Some days I just want to shout to the world that not everyone wants cutesy fucking teddy bears around the top of the kitchen. *sigh* Honestly. You want the second bedroom in your apartment decorated with a wallpaper border of pink fucking toe shoes because YOUR little ballerina is six. However, when you move out, you dumb fuck, I'll be renting to a single mother and her fifteen year old son who's into german death metal. Unless I am very wrong about the general tenor of german death metal, I don't think HE wants a wallpaper border of pink fucking toe shoes. That's why you can't have it -- if you put it on there, then I have to take it the fuck off before I rerent the place so that the person I'm showing it to doesn't have to look at YOUR fucking territorial pissing all over the walls.
