(no subject)

[which_chick]

Dear Warner's (the bra company, not the Bugs Bunny people),

For years, I bought and wore your 1554 bra because it fit, did not have any lace or stupid ass little roses or bows, did not try to make my tits bigger with padding (I do not wear padded bras. Ever.), worked reasonably well, and was comfortable. It also came in a variety of colors, but since I started shopping online for bras, I bought black and white because those (and "eggshell", which I will not wear) were the colors I could buy online. If colors like grape and emerald and scarlet had been available online, you can bet your ass I'd have bought them. Anyway, so there was a bra and I liked it and it worked on oh-so-many levels. Now, I do not generally have impure thoughts about my intimate apparel, but I really liked my bras. A lot. So, when I went to buy bras online yesterday, an activity I don't do very often because I buy ten at a time so that I don't HAVE to buy bras online very often, I discovered that you had DISCONTINUED the only fucking bra I've worn for the last fifteen years or so.

I fucking hate you, you bastards.

And then, as a sop to my outraged sensibilities, you offer me the 1589, which, I feel moved to point out, has STUPID FUCKING FLOWERS EMBROIDERED ON IT. I do not want flowers on my tits, thank you, no. I do not want padding on my tits. I do not want a front closure. I do not want elastic only. I want underwire. I want two hooks in the back. I want absolutely plain and unornamented. I WANT my 1554's. WAH! That is not my cow!! (Note that the web page for the 1589 has the following: PLEASE NOTE THAT THE MANUFACTURER IS EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTY IN MEETING DEMAND ON THIS PRODUCT AND THIS ITEM IS ON BACKORDER UNTIL 8/15/05. ANY ORDERS PLACED WILL BE SHIPPED ON A FIRST COME FIRST SERVED BASIS.. Apparently OTHER people want their 1554's but are willing to buy stupid-ass flowered bras because they can't get 1554's.)

Thanks to the power of the internet, though, I bought ten more of the proper bra on assorted closeout websites so that I will not have to actually shop for bras, unacceptable or otherwise, for at least another two or three years. Yay! Perhaps Warners will realize its stupid mistake and return to the path of righteousness in the interim. One can only hope. Also, note to self: Need sports bra. Start shopping. Also, underwears that don't ride up my ass.

Comments

[cousin-sue.livejournal.com]

Hear Hear!

I do not NEED their damn padding.

I did not WEAR the damn padding even when I "needed" it!

And if I could just get a decent plain bra with no underwire I would be a Happy Camper.

But they all have this stupid lace that chafes and embroidery. And padding. And foolish string straps that don't hold.

Is it women designing these bras? Or hopeful men?

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

I don't know who is designing the bras, but I don't LIKE lace (chafes, itches, bothers the hell out of me) and I don't want embroidery (frequently backed with itchy stuff, gets killed in washer because I don't sort out "delicates") and I don't want padding. I want straps that stay where I put them. I want metal hardware because the plastic breaks more easily. And the only bra I've ever found that I liked absolutely everything about... they stop making it. WTF?

[sara-merry99.livejournal.com]

Victoria's Secret (really) has a couple of nice and *very* plain bras with wide straps, metal hardware, no lace or embroidery or other stupid stuff. Look in their Body by Victoria line. Unfortunately the Victoria's Secret stuff isn't cheap, but it seems to last slightly better than other bras and is very comfortable. I get underwire, but I've seen that they have non-underwire options as well.

[brni.livejournal.com]

my spousal unit's comment: "she shouldn't wear bras anyway."

i asked her if she had any (other than sports bras, "necessary" for certain activities (karate uniforms were not designed with a woman's modesty in mind)) and she said "i think i might still have one in a drawer somewhere. i'm not sure." i sure haven't seen it.

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

I wear bras because I don't like when my tits bounce. I do not approve of bouncing tits on my chest. It's uncomfortable and annoys me. As I do not wish to adapt a lifestyle which would prevent my unrestrained tits from ever bouncing, I restrain my tits so that they do not bother me while I'm off having a life.

Also, since I have (not by choice, okay, they just grew that way) perky porn-star sized nipples that *ahem* perk up the second I get even slightly chilly and since it is ILLEGAL to kill everyone dumb enough to ask me to turn out those headlights or who tells me they're the border patrol and says I should hand over the smuggled raisins, the best I can do on that front is make sure that people do not comment thusly. (Things would, of course, be different if I ran the world. If I ran the world, there would be medals handed out for killing people that fucking stupid.) Bras solve the problem handily by covering up the nipple thing enough that I don't get comments on it most of the time.

(All people who know me in real life: You are forbidden to check out my chest the next time you see me to determine if I'm kidding or not on the porn star nipples thing.)

[sara-merry99.livejournal.com]

You're no fun. :)

[cousin-sue.livejournal.com]

People really say that second one?

I'm sorry, but you've just made it impossible for us not to look.

Like those shirts we saw at the Con "these are not the breasts you're looking for" or the others that said something about "stop looking at my chest."

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

Oh, hell, people, if you want to look at my tits, just ask. (Hadn't realized this was such an area of interest for my allegedly straight female friends, honestly...) There's no need to get all stealthy about it and I won't even demand that you throw me some beads.

And yes, people have used the 'smugglin' raisins' line on me and I DID NOT HIT THEM AFTERWARDS -- In a more perfect world, that would be followed by about six urinating dogs but since all I have are !, let me use those: !!!!!!

[brni.livejournal.com]

what about those of us who aren't allegedly straight female friends?

*promises to never mention raisins when not discussing actual raisins or violent femmes songs*

people need to learn how to be quietly appreciative. i encourage you to hit those who are not, and will even buy you a shinai with which to do so, if you don't already have one.

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

I appreciate the offer of a shinai, but I'm more of a harisen girl, myself. I would LIKE to have a classier life, but apparently I'm about at the coolness level of beating people over the head with a paper fan for comedic purposes. (Maybe I should reroll the character...)

I did say Oh, hell, people, if you want to look at my tits, just ask. That means people of all flavors, obviously. The only reason I mentioned my allegedly straight female friends was that they were the ones commenting about staring at my tits. The guys on my flist who know me in real life are, by and large, justifiably wary of these sorts of openings. (You really don't want to read the joke I'd planned to put here.) I expect that they try very hard to shrink down in their seats and not-get-called-on during these little pop quizzes where there is no correct answer. :) Smart guys, the lot of them.

So, yes, if you ask to see my tits, you will most likely get to see my tits. (I used to model for art classes at Penn State when I went there. Being naked in front of people doesn't bother me.) Fair warning, though... people who ask to look and then attempt to fondle will discover that they look with their eyes, not with their bloody stumps.

[brni.livejournal.com]

ah well. i personally am quite fond of the shinai. it is a powerful management tool, particularly with sales people, and while it is comedic enough to avoid having charges pressed, it does sting enough to encourage learning.

[ornery-chick.livejournal.com]

Bras. Man, I hate the fucking things! Very little can reduce me to the levels of despair that bra shopping can. I can easily sidestep the pain of jeans shopping by making my own damn jeans, but I have yet to make a satisfactory brassiere.