One a day, plus iron

Yeah, I know. It's a fucking joke dessert. Nobody I know actually enjoys the stuff. It's cloying. It has fake-colored green and red bits of... glue? The batter is invariably disappointing and there seems to be too much of it in the interstitial spaces between the fake-colored glue fruits. I don't think most fruitcakes contain a sufficient number of nuts. Candied orange peel is not a thing I believe in as an ingredient.

( If you have met me, you know where this journey ends... )