The Shit Sandwich At Lesson (Day 2)
May. 24th, 2023 08:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickSo I took myself to lesson today, planning to whine about and/or consume shit sandwiches there with fairly-tolerant lesson pony Mystic and generally-encouraging, mostly-helpful Instructor. Instructor did see the shit sandwich (Monday) clinic ride so is presumably aware of things as they stood on Monday.
I was "Shit sandwich with parsley sprigs. I can do the objectives and get the forward, but I can't do anything else and now my position is shit." (I actually said "my position is shit". Instructor is OK with my phrasing. Fwiw, the barn's semi-official motto is Be Less Shit. And I gotta admit, this is an achievable goal. If you can be 1% less shit PER RIDE, after ride 1, you're 99% shit, 1% skill. After fifty rides, you're just about 60% shit and 40% skill. That's a whole lot less shit, right there. After 69 rides, you are LESS THAN HALF SHIT. It isn't any big change. It's grinding a little every day. A little less shit and a little less shit and so forth.) Anyway. "My position is shit."
Instructor: Okay, let me see.
I do the thing. It's shit. I'm all over the place, sometimes hitting the cantle and behind the motion, not effective, cannot steer, kind of hopeless. I mean, I'm not DYING but also it's not going... great.
Instructor: Okay, well, that's not ideal. I can totally see your concerns. Try putting your feet further back?
I try that. It's... bad. I feel like a clown. Front of thigh on. Feet behind more, about eight inches away from any part of the horse, just... whoa. It's bad.
Instructor: Oof, okay, that's not right. Let's try making your thigh more vertical?
I try the "thigh more vertical" thing. Shit sandwich has marginally less shit between the bread slices. Possibly an improvement, but still 100% a shit sandwich. Steering marginally better, horse a hair steadier, I'm not hitting the cantle on the regular anymore.
Instructor (after watching this for a while): Can we try putting your stirrups down a hole?
Me: "Can't hurt."
Instructor: Okay, now try.
I try. What we have here is a shit sandwich where the shit is... not a thick schmear but more a thin skim coat like for when you want butter on your toast but also are trying to lose weight. (If you tilted this buttered toast, no butter would drip on the plate.)
It's a better shit sandwich? Still a shit sandwich, but I can see improvements. There is now less shit than bread. STILL not a good sandwich. Nobody wants to eat this. But it's... better. I mean, if I have to eat a shit sandwich, one with less shit is preferred over one with shit gushing out from between the bread slices and dripping onto my hands. Ew.
So, tomorrow after work, I will go out with the Birb and drop my stirrups a hole and see if I can get there to be even less shit on the shit sandwich. Once I get rid of the shit, which will be likely a few weeks of effort, I can maybe think about adding some Actual Sandwich Ingredients like tomatoes and mayonnaise and bacon. *sigh* Probably that's too fancy for me, but even peanut butter and jelly would be an improvement over shit.
I was "Shit sandwich with parsley sprigs. I can do the objectives and get the forward, but I can't do anything else and now my position is shit." (I actually said "my position is shit". Instructor is OK with my phrasing. Fwiw, the barn's semi-official motto is Be Less Shit. And I gotta admit, this is an achievable goal. If you can be 1% less shit PER RIDE, after ride 1, you're 99% shit, 1% skill. After fifty rides, you're just about 60% shit and 40% skill. That's a whole lot less shit, right there. After 69 rides, you are LESS THAN HALF SHIT. It isn't any big change. It's grinding a little every day. A little less shit and a little less shit and so forth.) Anyway. "My position is shit."
Instructor: Okay, let me see.
I do the thing. It's shit. I'm all over the place, sometimes hitting the cantle and behind the motion, not effective, cannot steer, kind of hopeless. I mean, I'm not DYING but also it's not going... great.
Instructor: Okay, well, that's not ideal. I can totally see your concerns. Try putting your feet further back?
I try that. It's... bad. I feel like a clown. Front of thigh on. Feet behind more, about eight inches away from any part of the horse, just... whoa. It's bad.
Instructor: Oof, okay, that's not right. Let's try making your thigh more vertical?
I try the "thigh more vertical" thing. Shit sandwich has marginally less shit between the bread slices. Possibly an improvement, but still 100% a shit sandwich. Steering marginally better, horse a hair steadier, I'm not hitting the cantle on the regular anymore.
Instructor (after watching this for a while): Can we try putting your stirrups down a hole?
Me: "Can't hurt."
Instructor: Okay, now try.
I try. What we have here is a shit sandwich where the shit is... not a thick schmear but more a thin skim coat like for when you want butter on your toast but also are trying to lose weight. (If you tilted this buttered toast, no butter would drip on the plate.)
It's a better shit sandwich? Still a shit sandwich, but I can see improvements. There is now less shit than bread. STILL not a good sandwich. Nobody wants to eat this. But it's... better. I mean, if I have to eat a shit sandwich, one with less shit is preferred over one with shit gushing out from between the bread slices and dripping onto my hands. Ew.
So, tomorrow after work, I will go out with the Birb and drop my stirrups a hole and see if I can get there to be even less shit on the shit sandwich. Once I get rid of the shit, which will be likely a few weeks of effort, I can maybe think about adding some Actual Sandwich Ingredients like tomatoes and mayonnaise and bacon. *sigh* Probably that's too fancy for me, but even peanut butter and jelly would be an improvement over shit.
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Date: 2023-05-25 02:09 am (UTC)