(no subject)
Dec. 22nd, 2004 12:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickThere's a Starbucks in Breezewood now. The borg mermaid has arrived, with drive-through. I'm not sure if it has wireless or not because I haven't been in it yet. I am not a Starbucks customer and it's not just because the one in Breezewood is on the wrong side of the road.
Confession time, then. I don't have any idea how to work a Starbucks for anything but basic regular coffee. The problem is not that I don't drink coffee. I do drink coffee. At home, my coffee comes pre-ground, in a red can that says Folgers. Out in the real world, if I need coffee, it comes from Sheetz (a regional convenience chain kind of like 7-11), where there are coffee pots sitting there and you pour what you want, doctor it with the available options, and pay a buck-twenty-seven for the huge size at the counter. It's just coffee.
Starbucks confuses me. I do not feel smart enough to operate Starbucks. I need like a Dummies guide. What are the options? How the fuck am I supposed to know if I would LIKE a shot of hazelnut or vanilla or whatever? Do I get a do-over if I build a coffee and it tastes like ass to me? How am I supposed to learn how to build a coffee beverage I would like to have? What's the difference between a latte and a cappucino? Can someone explain the espresso thing?
In the face of that much uncertainty (uncertainty I would be facing while in need of coffee), I shut down. I just want a coffee. I do not want the coffee to be the exciting part of coffee-and-a-danish. I want the danish to be the exciting part. Coffee isn't a dessert, it's a beverage with benefits.
It's just that the other coffees look interesting. Other people seem to like them. A couple of years ago, I got basic-coffee instructions from Donna's husband Matt, who took pity on me and explained how to order normal coffee at Starbucks. I didn't have the heart to press him for further education on ordering interesting coffee or coffee with options. Other people seem quite able to figure out Starbucks without help. Am I the only person on the planet too stupid to be able to work Starbucks?
Confession time, then. I don't have any idea how to work a Starbucks for anything but basic regular coffee. The problem is not that I don't drink coffee. I do drink coffee. At home, my coffee comes pre-ground, in a red can that says Folgers. Out in the real world, if I need coffee, it comes from Sheetz (a regional convenience chain kind of like 7-11), where there are coffee pots sitting there and you pour what you want, doctor it with the available options, and pay a buck-twenty-seven for the huge size at the counter. It's just coffee.
Starbucks confuses me. I do not feel smart enough to operate Starbucks. I need like a Dummies guide. What are the options? How the fuck am I supposed to know if I would LIKE a shot of hazelnut or vanilla or whatever? Do I get a do-over if I build a coffee and it tastes like ass to me? How am I supposed to learn how to build a coffee beverage I would like to have? What's the difference between a latte and a cappucino? Can someone explain the espresso thing?
In the face of that much uncertainty (uncertainty I would be facing while in need of coffee), I shut down. I just want a coffee. I do not want the coffee to be the exciting part of coffee-and-a-danish. I want the danish to be the exciting part. Coffee isn't a dessert, it's a beverage with benefits.
It's just that the other coffees look interesting. Other people seem to like them. A couple of years ago, I got basic-coffee instructions from Donna's husband Matt, who took pity on me and explained how to order normal coffee at Starbucks. I didn't have the heart to press him for further education on ordering interesting coffee or coffee with options. Other people seem quite able to figure out Starbucks without help. Am I the only person on the planet too stupid to be able to work Starbucks?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 05:33 pm (UTC)Espressos are evil (hideous concentrated caffeine in a tiny cup that will send me ricocheting off the wall), except insofar as the espresso is an ingredient of the latte, along with the milk.
If you need to know the difference between "tall" and "venti" ("vente"?), I can't help. Except "tall" means "small". That's all I know.