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Dec. 22nd, 2004 12:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickThere's a Starbucks in Breezewood now. The borg mermaid has arrived, with drive-through. I'm not sure if it has wireless or not because I haven't been in it yet. I am not a Starbucks customer and it's not just because the one in Breezewood is on the wrong side of the road.
Confession time, then. I don't have any idea how to work a Starbucks for anything but basic regular coffee. The problem is not that I don't drink coffee. I do drink coffee. At home, my coffee comes pre-ground, in a red can that says Folgers. Out in the real world, if I need coffee, it comes from Sheetz (a regional convenience chain kind of like 7-11), where there are coffee pots sitting there and you pour what you want, doctor it with the available options, and pay a buck-twenty-seven for the huge size at the counter. It's just coffee.
Starbucks confuses me. I do not feel smart enough to operate Starbucks. I need like a Dummies guide. What are the options? How the fuck am I supposed to know if I would LIKE a shot of hazelnut or vanilla or whatever? Do I get a do-over if I build a coffee and it tastes like ass to me? How am I supposed to learn how to build a coffee beverage I would like to have? What's the difference between a latte and a cappucino? Can someone explain the espresso thing?
In the face of that much uncertainty (uncertainty I would be facing while in need of coffee), I shut down. I just want a coffee. I do not want the coffee to be the exciting part of coffee-and-a-danish. I want the danish to be the exciting part. Coffee isn't a dessert, it's a beverage with benefits.
It's just that the other coffees look interesting. Other people seem to like them. A couple of years ago, I got basic-coffee instructions from Donna's husband Matt, who took pity on me and explained how to order normal coffee at Starbucks. I didn't have the heart to press him for further education on ordering interesting coffee or coffee with options. Other people seem quite able to figure out Starbucks without help. Am I the only person on the planet too stupid to be able to work Starbucks?
Confession time, then. I don't have any idea how to work a Starbucks for anything but basic regular coffee. The problem is not that I don't drink coffee. I do drink coffee. At home, my coffee comes pre-ground, in a red can that says Folgers. Out in the real world, if I need coffee, it comes from Sheetz (a regional convenience chain kind of like 7-11), where there are coffee pots sitting there and you pour what you want, doctor it with the available options, and pay a buck-twenty-seven for the huge size at the counter. It's just coffee.
Starbucks confuses me. I do not feel smart enough to operate Starbucks. I need like a Dummies guide. What are the options? How the fuck am I supposed to know if I would LIKE a shot of hazelnut or vanilla or whatever? Do I get a do-over if I build a coffee and it tastes like ass to me? How am I supposed to learn how to build a coffee beverage I would like to have? What's the difference between a latte and a cappucino? Can someone explain the espresso thing?
In the face of that much uncertainty (uncertainty I would be facing while in need of coffee), I shut down. I just want a coffee. I do not want the coffee to be the exciting part of coffee-and-a-danish. I want the danish to be the exciting part. Coffee isn't a dessert, it's a beverage with benefits.
It's just that the other coffees look interesting. Other people seem to like them. A couple of years ago, I got basic-coffee instructions from Donna's husband Matt, who took pity on me and explained how to order normal coffee at Starbucks. I didn't have the heart to press him for further education on ordering interesting coffee or coffee with options. Other people seem quite able to figure out Starbucks without help. Am I the only person on the planet too stupid to be able to work Starbucks?
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 06:02 am (UTC)The cure for option paralysis is to dig a very deep rut.