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Jul. 26th, 2008 06:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickIf you're going to show your pony at the county fair...
Ride your equine at least a few times before the fair. Kind of get to know each other. It would not be a bad idea to practice some of the things you might be doing at the fair, too.
Make sure that your baby horses are broke to halter sufficiently to lead. Nobody wants to see them dance all over the damn ring in halter classes.
It is not that the judge is a bad judge if you do not place on a given day or don't place as high as you think you should. Maybe the judge saw you blow that left lead AND noted your horse's refusal on the hunter-hack portion of the versatility class. (I did.) But, if the judge is really is "unfair" then that's what you get for the day. Suck it up. Smile and take your fifth place ribbon. This isSPARTA showing. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Blaming the judge makes people think you're a stupid spoiled whore, like Paris Hilton.
If you have muffintop above your pants, a shiny, slinky form-fitted show blouse is probably not your best bet. It will hug all your curves, not just the one you want it to hug. You're under eighteen. I'm pushing forty and I would have looked better in what you wore than you did. Think what you'll look like at forty, cheesecake.
If you have successfully competed in versatility (as in "beaten other people" and "not died going over the two eensy eighteen-inch jumps") then we are going to make you go in hunter hack next year. Hunter hack is *exactly the same* as the English part of versatility class. Same format. Same jumps. You can do it, plus you and your pony look super-cute dolled up to go English. (Two years from now, after you have survived hunter hack, we are going to make you enter real hunter classes, the kind with eight jumps in the ring. Just an FYI, here.)
I feel bad and kind of pony-lady snooty for this, but if you truly have no fucking idea how to hold the reins and/or steer, you need to get someone to teach you. (Boy who leased Lynn's horse, I am talking directly to you.) You DO NOT hold the reins to a shank bit one in each hand as if you were driving the horse. That is NOT how you ride "western" even if you're just doing walk-trot. Also, if a variety of people tell you that your riding sucks, then it really does suck. Finally, you will get nowhere by riding ten or fifteen minutes, deciding that the horse is "crazy" and then getting off. You are a raw beginner (albeit one who has ridden for a year) and we will not give you a horse that will kill you. We just wish you would *listen* and *follow instructions*. However, you seem determined to be a permanent beginner. Your choice, I guess, but it's annoying the living fuck out of the people who have to interact with you around horses. Fortunately, you should be aging out of 4-H after next year so we'll be rid of you then.
Ride your equine at least a few times before the fair. Kind of get to know each other. It would not be a bad idea to practice some of the things you might be doing at the fair, too.
Make sure that your baby horses are broke to halter sufficiently to lead. Nobody wants to see them dance all over the damn ring in halter classes.
It is not that the judge is a bad judge if you do not place on a given day or don't place as high as you think you should. Maybe the judge saw you blow that left lead AND noted your horse's refusal on the hunter-hack portion of the versatility class. (I did.) But, if the judge is really is "unfair" then that's what you get for the day. Suck it up. Smile and take your fifth place ribbon. This is
If you have muffintop above your pants, a shiny, slinky form-fitted show blouse is probably not your best bet. It will hug all your curves, not just the one you want it to hug. You're under eighteen. I'm pushing forty and I would have looked better in what you wore than you did. Think what you'll look like at forty, cheesecake.
If you have successfully competed in versatility (as in "beaten other people" and "not died going over the two eensy eighteen-inch jumps") then we are going to make you go in hunter hack next year. Hunter hack is *exactly the same* as the English part of versatility class. Same format. Same jumps. You can do it, plus you and your pony look super-cute dolled up to go English. (Two years from now, after you have survived hunter hack, we are going to make you enter real hunter classes, the kind with eight jumps in the ring. Just an FYI, here.)
I feel bad and kind of pony-lady snooty for this, but if you truly have no fucking idea how to hold the reins and/or steer, you need to get someone to teach you. (Boy who leased Lynn's horse, I am talking directly to you.) You DO NOT hold the reins to a shank bit one in each hand as if you were driving the horse. That is NOT how you ride "western" even if you're just doing walk-trot. Also, if a variety of people tell you that your riding sucks, then it really does suck. Finally, you will get nowhere by riding ten or fifteen minutes, deciding that the horse is "crazy" and then getting off. You are a raw beginner (albeit one who has ridden for a year) and we will not give you a horse that will kill you. We just wish you would *listen* and *follow instructions*. However, you seem determined to be a permanent beginner. Your choice, I guess, but it's annoying the living fuck out of the people who have to interact with you around horses. Fortunately, you should be aging out of 4-H after next year so we'll be rid of you then.
