(no subject)
Jan. 24th, 2008 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickIt has lately been brought to my attention that gleeful snickery is immature. Clever puns were suggested as a medium more suited to a sober, adult audience. (Thing is, I am not good at clever puns. I'm very, very good at leer and innuendo, but those are juvenile and uninteresting and nobody laughs at the jokes, with the exception of brother-the-younger, who is a charitable sort.) Therefore, today's posting is not about restoration-era pornographic poetry. The joy got right the hell sucked out of that via the aforementioned revelation. (I'm not even in the mood to make the joke about sucking the joy out.) It's not about syphilis, either. It's not got anything at all to do with plums.
Bacon. There is always bacon.
I stopped at the meat place on the way home and inquired about the possibility of getting a piece of proto-bacon for my bacon project. Bacon is made from pork belly, which comes from the underside of piggiewigs. Persons who are upset by the thought of eating piggiewigs, well, hell, this post and its offspring aren't going to hold many jollies for you. The meat place allowed as how they could have proto-bacon for me by next Friday and said it would probably cost between thirty-five and forty dollars for half-a-pig's-worth (about ten to twelve pounds, depending on the pig) of proto-bacon. Yay!
I'll be following the instructions here in case anyone else wants to play along or has any interest in making their own bacon. (It could happen.) The directions say that I am going to need a meat smoker. Hrm. I am not going to buy a two-hundred-dollar meat smoker from Weber or anyone else. That, honestly, *will not do*. Step-relative Larry owns a meat smoker and I am looking into tracking him down (don't have an on-hand phone number and he's not in his city-of-residence phone book) and inquiring about the borrowing of same. If that falls through, the internets assure me that I can make my own meat smoker from a galvanized trash can (with lid), a hot plate, a grill grate, and a cast iron skillet. I think I can come up with those items for less than two hundred dollars and, aside from the cheapness of the arrangement, it'd also be very, very MacGuyver. Not seeing a down side, here.
For the smoke, I have hickory trees growing in the wild, so can trot right out and lop a few branches off for smoking purposes. Oh, hey! I also have apple trees and cherry trees which could be "pruned" for the purpose of providing smoke for my bacon. I think three flavors of bacon (hickory, apple, and cherry) would add an air of experiment to this project and make it more fun. Yay! Of course, the only people who are going to *get* any bacon are people who live near me and/or who are relatives. I'm not going to drive to Philly and hand out samples or anything and bacon doesn't ship through the mail like caramels do. The horse people will get some. My cousin Heather will get some, assuming she eats bacon. M and E at work will get some. Brother-the-younger -- I drank his home-made wine, he can eat my home-made bacon. Fair is fair, after all.
Bacon. There is always bacon.
I stopped at the meat place on the way home and inquired about the possibility of getting a piece of proto-bacon for my bacon project. Bacon is made from pork belly, which comes from the underside of piggiewigs. Persons who are upset by the thought of eating piggiewigs, well, hell, this post and its offspring aren't going to hold many jollies for you. The meat place allowed as how they could have proto-bacon for me by next Friday and said it would probably cost between thirty-five and forty dollars for half-a-pig's-worth (about ten to twelve pounds, depending on the pig) of proto-bacon. Yay!
I'll be following the instructions here in case anyone else wants to play along or has any interest in making their own bacon. (It could happen.) The directions say that I am going to need a meat smoker. Hrm. I am not going to buy a two-hundred-dollar meat smoker from Weber or anyone else. That, honestly, *will not do*. Step-relative Larry owns a meat smoker and I am looking into tracking him down (don't have an on-hand phone number and he's not in his city-of-residence phone book) and inquiring about the borrowing of same. If that falls through, the internets assure me that I can make my own meat smoker from a galvanized trash can (with lid), a hot plate, a grill grate, and a cast iron skillet. I think I can come up with those items for less than two hundred dollars and, aside from the cheapness of the arrangement, it'd also be very, very MacGuyver. Not seeing a down side, here.
For the smoke, I have hickory trees growing in the wild, so can trot right out and lop a few branches off for smoking purposes. Oh, hey! I also have apple trees and cherry trees which could be "pruned" for the purpose of providing smoke for my bacon. I think three flavors of bacon (hickory, apple, and cherry) would add an air of experiment to this project and make it more fun. Yay! Of course, the only people who are going to *get* any bacon are people who live near me and/or who are relatives. I'm not going to drive to Philly and hand out samples or anything and bacon doesn't ship through the mail like caramels do. The horse people will get some. My cousin Heather will get some, assuming she eats bacon. M and E at work will get some. Brother-the-younger -- I drank his home-made wine, he can eat my home-made bacon. Fair is fair, after all.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-25 03:12 am (UTC)I'm interested to see how it goes (and bummed that I won't get to try samples).
(I liked your gleeful snickering about the porn....::pouts:: Ah well, I shall have to find my own low hanging plums.)
no subject
Date: 2008-01-25 03:35 am (UTC)I love this kind of do it yourself stuff but I am always way too afraid of meat to do any exciting meat cooking myself.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-25 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-25 04:10 am (UTC)Hmm. I copped to being boring (exact words, minus a hyphen), not mature. In fact, the only instance of "mature" I see in my email has one of those ">" doohickeys in front of it...
no subject
Date: 2008-01-25 04:55 am (UTC)Thing is, when the audience stops laughing, it is a very poor comedian who doesn't start looking for new material.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-25 02:05 pm (UTC)Oh, well, someday I'll learn to make my own!
The caramels, by the way, were yummy.
I shared them, so everybody got a taste.
Eldar Spawn, "I don't like Caramels"
CousinSue, "which_chick made them" (not using which_chick of course)
Eldar Spawn, "I *do* like which_chick" tastes the proffered sweet.
Eldar Spawn, "These are really *good* caramels"