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Dec. 18th, 2007 06:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickI bought the turkey for xmas dinner at the grocery last night.
This year I am in charge of the turkey, the stuffing, the gravy, and the pies. (Pies are no problem at all.) I have done a turkey (all by myself) once previously and I know how to make stuffing and I know how to make gravy. It'll be fine, except that I don't know, in-the-bone, the cooking times and stuff. For that, I referred to the internets.
The turkey is twenty-two pounds and frozen. Now, the internets say you can start with a frozen bird if you are not doing in-the-bird stuffing. I do in-the-bird stuffing, which is a non-negotiable part of the deal. For proper, safe in-the-bird stuffing, the bird must be fully thawed, the stuffing must be freshly made and it shall be placed in the bird immediately before baking. Nothing can sit around at all. People get food poisoned doing this crap because they don't follow the rules. No, you cannot make your stuffing ahead of time and put it in the bird overnight. Are you fucking stupid? BAD USER. The mix-n-stuff part, that has to happen IMMEDIATELY BEFORE IT GOES IN THE BIRD, which has to happen IMMEDIATELY BEFORE THE ASSEMBLY GOES INTO A PREHEATED 325 OVEN. You can chop and tear and sautee ahead of time, but the actual mixing-n-stuffing has to wait until the morning. This is not rocket science. And also, outside-the-bird stuffing is an ananthema. DO NOT WANT. (This is not something about which I may be persuaded otherwise. All ya'll can do as you see fit. At my house, there is in-the-bird stuffing. There may also have to be outside-the-bird stuffing -- I need to check on that -- as we're expecting eighteen people.)
Anyway, for the thing that it is which I do, the turkey needs to be thawed. The internets suggest thawing the turkey in the fridge, allow 24 hrs. per four to five lbs of turkey. (Math. Math. Math.) Five to six days? Oooo-kay. Xmas is the 25. The turkey needs to be all-the-way-thawed on the early morning of the 25. (As I recall, we check for fully-thawed by sticking a hand up the turkey's butt the night before xmas. If turkey is not fully thawed or nearly-fully-thawed b/c your time estimates were way off, at that point you use v. cold water bath to speed-thaw the turkey. Under no circumstances should you stuff a partially frozen turkey.) So, yo, bird comes out of freezer and goes into my fridge tomorrow night after work.
The internets also suggest that the turkey will take between 4:45 and 5:15 to cook. Assuming we plan to eat at 2:00 PM, turkey needs to stand for twenty minutes before carving, that gives a lead time of around 5:45. Bird will need to go into oven around 8:00 AM or 8:15 AM. The internets (what the hell do they know) suggest that cooking stuffing inside the bird is a direct route to dying slowly and painfully from food poisoning. Is, I say defiantly, not.
Stuffing runs about a slice of bread per person for starters. That's easily two loaves of bread, plus also onions, celery, green peppers (I'll have to buy the latter two, don't keep them on hand) and a run through the spice cupboard to make sure I have everything I'll need. For the pies, I will need squash (from Heather) and flour and lard. I need eggs.
Additional posts on this subject, o'course, will follow as the holiday approaches.
This year I am in charge of the turkey, the stuffing, the gravy, and the pies. (Pies are no problem at all.) I have done a turkey (all by myself) once previously and I know how to make stuffing and I know how to make gravy. It'll be fine, except that I don't know, in-the-bone, the cooking times and stuff. For that, I referred to the internets.
The turkey is twenty-two pounds and frozen. Now, the internets say you can start with a frozen bird if you are not doing in-the-bird stuffing. I do in-the-bird stuffing, which is a non-negotiable part of the deal. For proper, safe in-the-bird stuffing, the bird must be fully thawed, the stuffing must be freshly made and it shall be placed in the bird immediately before baking. Nothing can sit around at all. People get food poisoned doing this crap because they don't follow the rules. No, you cannot make your stuffing ahead of time and put it in the bird overnight. Are you fucking stupid? BAD USER. The mix-n-stuff part, that has to happen IMMEDIATELY BEFORE IT GOES IN THE BIRD, which has to happen IMMEDIATELY BEFORE THE ASSEMBLY GOES INTO A PREHEATED 325 OVEN. You can chop and tear and sautee ahead of time, but the actual mixing-n-stuffing has to wait until the morning. This is not rocket science. And also, outside-the-bird stuffing is an ananthema. DO NOT WANT. (This is not something about which I may be persuaded otherwise. All ya'll can do as you see fit. At my house, there is in-the-bird stuffing. There may also have to be outside-the-bird stuffing -- I need to check on that -- as we're expecting eighteen people.)
Anyway, for the thing that it is which I do, the turkey needs to be thawed. The internets suggest thawing the turkey in the fridge, allow 24 hrs. per four to five lbs of turkey. (Math. Math. Math.) Five to six days? Oooo-kay. Xmas is the 25. The turkey needs to be all-the-way-thawed on the early morning of the 25. (As I recall, we check for fully-thawed by sticking a hand up the turkey's butt the night before xmas. If turkey is not fully thawed or nearly-fully-thawed b/c your time estimates were way off, at that point you use v. cold water bath to speed-thaw the turkey. Under no circumstances should you stuff a partially frozen turkey.) So, yo, bird comes out of freezer and goes into my fridge tomorrow night after work.
The internets also suggest that the turkey will take between 4:45 and 5:15 to cook. Assuming we plan to eat at 2:00 PM, turkey needs to stand for twenty minutes before carving, that gives a lead time of around 5:45. Bird will need to go into oven around 8:00 AM or 8:15 AM. The internets (what the hell do they know) suggest that cooking stuffing inside the bird is a direct route to dying slowly and painfully from food poisoning. Is, I say defiantly, not.
Stuffing runs about a slice of bread per person for starters. That's easily two loaves of bread, plus also onions, celery, green peppers (I'll have to buy the latter two, don't keep them on hand) and a run through the spice cupboard to make sure I have everything I'll need. For the pies, I will need squash (from Heather) and flour and lard. I need eggs.
Additional posts on this subject, o'course, will follow as the holiday approaches.
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no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 06:49 pm (UTC)We are a Beef Roast for Christmas family.
Stuffing flows red on the highway!
Date: 2007-12-18 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-18 08:14 pm (UTC)