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Well, they're mostly-done. I need to wash-n-block and put in the sleeve for the elastics, but all the interesting stuff is done. Now, I just need to keep them from falling down (for better trampling) and we'll be all set.

Before we get to the pictures, a brief recap of the process.

First, you can't covet what you can't see. I coveted Grumperina's sock. A lot. It was an object of lust for me. I totally wanted one. Lots. Better, I wanted two, so that I could actually wear several hundred hours of work on my feet, not to mention eighty dollars of yarn. I am nothing if not conspicuously consuming my life for the sole purpose of allowing all others to bask in the reflected light of my wealth and power. Go me.

The coveting, that was a while ago. Because of the power of blog, I can tell you that I began coveting on September 19, 2006. Here is the beginning of the coveting. We can see from the comments section that it was actually

electroweak who named the HoHI.

Here's the process write-up, in case anyone wants to make these at home.

Making your own HoHI

I didn't have a pattern for these socks when I started. You don't get a pattern, either. It's more of a DIY instruction set.

Step 0: Make a pair of socks. They can be small socks, not knee socks. You need to know how making-socks works before you start these because I don't have very detailed directions for the actual sock-making part. You have to know how to do that on your own.

Step 1: Find your gauge with the yarn you plan to use and the needles you plan to use. Row gauge isn't that important and honestly, neither is stitch gauge, but you have to know what it is so that you know how many stitches to cast on. Swatch at least once IN PATTERN and IN THE ROUND so that you have some idea of what you are doing. Not kidding, here.

Step 2: Measure around the top of your leg where you want the socks to go. I like my knee socks just under the knee, before my leg swells out into my piano-leg calves.

Step 3: Multiply top-of-sock measurement by stitches per inch. Remember to allow for negative ease if you're planning to have them stay up by themselves. I generally add elastic to the tops of my knee socks and don't give a rat's ass about negative ease beyond enough to keep the sock from wrinkling on my leg. Also, it bugs me a lot if the pattern gets stretched out of shape b/c the socks are too tight. The number I needed for "snug" was 155. I actually cast on 164 because it made the pattern repeats come out right and because I was not depending on the sock to stay up without elastic.

Step 4: Make ribbing that you like. I used corrugated ribbing, the two-color, k2, p2 where the k's were red and the p's were black. I put slightly more than 2" of ribbing on my HoHI because I think tall socks need a lot of ribbing to look good.

Step 5: Try on the ribbing when you have enough of it. Slide it on your leg and see how it fits. Does it look okay? Is it large enough to encircle an elephant leg? Does it cut off blood flow to your feet? DO NOT lie to yourself on this. Make sure that the ribbing is correct and that you like it and the way that it fits. (It does NOT have to hold the sock up. Corrugated ribbing isn't very stretchy and it won't do that. It just needs to fit you.) If it is not the coolest and best-fitting ribbing ever, rip it out and try again. I know you want to get to the exciting chart part, but it is VERY important to make sure that you like the way the ribbing fits and feel very positive about going forward. Do not be like me. I did plain 2x2 ribbing in red, for a scant inch, so that I could get to the exciting chart part. And I hated the ribbing. And I hated the ribbing. And I hated the ribbing. And, finally, I ripped back THREE INCHES OF COLORWORK ON TWO SOCKS so that I could redo the ribbing in something that I didn't hate. For best results, you will want to knit both socks at the same time once you have the proper starting number of stitches and a ribbing that you adore. This is so that you can make two identical socks. It is possible, I suppose, if you keep good notes and mark up your pattern as you go, to do one and then the other... but because of the way these instructions work and because there's a lot of "Try it on and then do what you think is right" going on, YOU are responsible for making sure that the socks come out the same. I know for damn sure that I don't take notes well enough to do one and then the other. Maybe you're a better note taker than I am.

Step 6: Once you have ribbing you adore and that fits you absolutely perfectly, note how many stitches it is. Then, personalize the charts (Meg Swansen's Knitting has the "Blue and Cream Stocking" chart and the other pattern I used came from Lizbeth Upitis Latvian Mittens) for your own needs. I used "Blue and Cream Stocking" down the center front and back, divided it from the other motif with six stitch diagonal stripes (one slanting each way) and put the Latvian Mitten chart on the sides. I removed stitches from the Latvian motif to make the sock fit and did every adjustment in 4-stitch increments for symmetry. I charted the designs in MS Paint (what can I say -- it's free) and printed out several copies so that I could take notes on them. At this point, DO NOT worry about where the calf decreases go. We'll get to those in a bit.

Print your personalized chart, several copies. Knit in pattern, using the charts, with frequent trying-on. Decrease as you go, as seems reasonable. Keep going in this vein until you get down to the ankle split. Just put your decreases where you think they should go -- I found a good rate of decrease happened at about 8 row intervals. This is why you're trying the sock on as you go. Try on as you go to avoid disappointment. (This would be why I do not make socks for other people, btw. I can only make socks for me because I try them on my feet for fit.) The decreases go on the sides of Pattern B. I did 'em as (1)k2tog and (2)ssk. If you like other decreases better, use those instead.

Step 7: At the ankle. Your socks should fit to your inside ankle bone. Now, divide the stitches in half or mostly in half. We hope that you have Pattern A and the side strips, maybe, and perhaps a few straggling Pattern B stitches, depending on your gauge and how fat your ankles are. If not, you're going to have to work with what you do have. Pattern A should be center-front of your socks, in case you didn't know that. When you divvy up the stitches for the heel and foot, make sure that you center Pattern A on the front of the sock. Got the stitches divided? Good. Now, on the heel stitches, do 2x2 chevrons (V shapes, point of V going down). I left three stitches in "plain" at the outside edges and one stitch of black for the center marker. Yes, you do have to purl in colorwork. Life is rough all over. Do that down to where it hits the ground when you try the sock on. Do not lie to yourself about it hitting the ground, either. Do the extra two rows or so -- it's important for fit. Then, turn the heel. I use the turning-the-heel instructions found here: http://www.hjsstudio.com/sock.html except I left five sts in the middle instead of three because three was way too pointy. I turned the heel in pattern (2x2 stripes) and it was unlovely. I am not sure that it could be better and I'm not willing to reknit it *again* to find out. Perhaps a better knitter than I am can offer some thoughts on better turning-the-heel instructions for heel turning in a color pattern.

Once you've done that, go ahead and pick up the gusset stitches in a 2x2 stripe pattern. Make sure that you end the heel turning having just finished a knit row so that you will be going in the correct direction to pick up stitches. I put a 2x2 stripe on the bottom and sides of the sock and did the foot top in pattern. Also, I pick up almost one stitch per row, which is weird. Most instructions tell you to pick up one stitch every other row -- that's why most instructions tell you to slip the first stitch on each row of heel flap. I don't do that. I knit (or purl) all the stitches and I picked up way more than most people. On the HoHI, I picked up 26 gusset stitches from my 28-row heel flap. (Someone call the knitting police...)

Step 8: Knit, decreasing (k2tog, ssk) gusset stitches every other round, until you're at a size that fits your foot. Keep trying on sock as you go, every inch or so, to address fit issues, if any. Knit just past the ball of your foot. That's the base joint for your big toe, where it hits your foot. With any luck, this will be the widest spot on your foot and you can start your toe decreases after you're over the joint. I decreased every row on these socks because there were so many stitches and because my gauge was so teeny. That made a pretty rounded toe that I think came out reasonably well. I decreased four stitches (two on the top, two on the bottom) per round, via the time-honored k2tog, ssk things at the edges of the sock, one stitch in from where the "top" and "bottom" meet. Make sure you keep trying on and checking fit as you go.

When you get down to a minimal number of stitches and the sock is long enough, you graft the remaining stitches together with the kitchener thing. I gave up and did both strands held together for the kitchener. It is not as elegant as doing the black sts. with the black thread and the red sts. with the red thread but I do crappy kitchener anyway and I wasn't looking to up the difficulty level, here.

Step 9: Making sure the socks stay up. I add elastic to my socks. On the inside of the top of the sock cuff, pick up as many stitches as there are on the sock. You do not have to do this in pattern. I used the red color only. Knit round for slightly more than an inch of knitting. (This should go at light speed, since it's not got a pattern or any charting or anything.) Leave live stitches on circular needle for the moment. Cut a piece of inch-wide elastic that fits, slightly stretched, around your leg where the sock goes AND overlaps an inch. Sew it into a circle. Put the elastic underneath the flap of knitting you just did. Now, fold the flap down over the elastic and make sure that the length of the flap is OK for covering the elastic. If it isn't, knit more until it is. When it's right, cast off 1" (linear) of the flap stitches using whatever cast off method you like. DO NOT cast off all the stitches. Once you've cast off 1", use a yarn needle and the tail end of the yarn (length about two-thirds your arm, a good sewing length) to sew the live stitches, one at a time, to the inside of the sock. Thread the needle through the live stitch, you know. Continue around, removing the stitches from the knitting needles as you go. The reason you do not cast off all these stitches is that it makes a hard edge that doesn't stretch. Leaving the stitches live means that they will move and not-bind. This is important for having an invisible elastic lining. The reason there is a hole in the sealing-the-flap-to-the-sock is so that you can get at the elastic to repair or replace it. If you're having ocd issues with a not-entirely-sewn-down flap, use the OTHER color of yarn to sew down that part. Then, you'll be able to see where to snip it for repairs.

Okay. So, photos. These look just like the finished socks will except they will be snug at the top instead of visibly loose. Otherwise, these look exactly like "done" socks.

These are not world-class pictures because I haven't got a lot of uncluttered background, don't have anyone else to hold the camera, and am otherwise hampered by shittastic lighting. I will make a concerted effort to get better pictures in the near future, but these are good enough to be going on with.