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May. 15th, 2006 01:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickFilm reviews: The Bachelor and Eurotrip.
The Bachelor is not a terrible movie. I just have a certain amount of difficulty with yer average romantic comedy vehicle due to the fact that I've opted out. I think probably that my difficulty with these films is about equally split between This movie is reinforcing the dominant heteroparadigm and enticing further victims into marital hell by making the whole thing seem appealing and Jesus fuck, nobody ever asked me to marry him, so what the fuck is wrong with me? The horns of a dilemma is not a comfortable position from which to view a hundred and two minutes of romantic comedy with a blonde (looks like she might run to fat, though) who's pretty competent at looking innocently stupid (Renee Zellweger) and a delightfully unserious boyman (Chris O'Donnell) who is smart enough to work the smile and pretty enough that he doesn't actually need any other skills. It's an acceptable romantic comedy.
Eurotrip is a terrible movie. Unfortunately, it's also very funny. Juvenile, yes. Tits in the first ten minutes, yes. Potty humor, yes. I'm not proud, here. I'm negatively proud. Aside from the fact that instant plane tickets cost a fortune, you have to have a passport. If you don't have one already, getting one takes four to six weeks unless you pay extra for expediting. I know this. There is usually planning ahead because instant plane tickets cost a fortune. Even advance plane tickets cost half a fortune. Perhaps they are rich enough little boys that they have passports already, but I'm not buying the courier thing. But yes, this is a delightful, juvenile romp. And isn't that Buffy's little sister? Looks like her. (Internet says yes.) The Eurotrip movie is VERY enlightening. Very. Not for, y'know, any actual representation of Bratislava or whatever, but for what the boy *thinks* it should be like over there. Clearly, we need a dose of reality. No matter what the movie shows, people do not slug absinthe out of the thrice-damned bottle. (And if they do, I don't want to know about it.) I think it's poured over a spoonful of sugar and into water to thin it out and make it marginally more palatable. If we're going to drink dumb-ass green beverages, they are going to be gedrunken properly. I wonder if I could get him in a poet shirt while I'm angling for the proper and traditional approach... God, that would be funny. The only thing more amusing than skinny, fey-looking effete boys in drag is entirely butch, non-effete boys in drag.
The Bachelor is not a terrible movie. I just have a certain amount of difficulty with yer average romantic comedy vehicle due to the fact that I've opted out. I think probably that my difficulty with these films is about equally split between This movie is reinforcing the dominant heteroparadigm and enticing further victims into marital hell by making the whole thing seem appealing and Jesus fuck, nobody ever asked me to marry him, so what the fuck is wrong with me? The horns of a dilemma is not a comfortable position from which to view a hundred and two minutes of romantic comedy with a blonde (looks like she might run to fat, though) who's pretty competent at looking innocently stupid (Renee Zellweger) and a delightfully unserious boyman (Chris O'Donnell) who is smart enough to work the smile and pretty enough that he doesn't actually need any other skills. It's an acceptable romantic comedy.
Eurotrip is a terrible movie. Unfortunately, it's also very funny. Juvenile, yes. Tits in the first ten minutes, yes. Potty humor, yes. I'm not proud, here. I'm negatively proud. Aside from the fact that instant plane tickets cost a fortune, you have to have a passport. If you don't have one already, getting one takes four to six weeks unless you pay extra for expediting. I know this. There is usually planning ahead because instant plane tickets cost a fortune. Even advance plane tickets cost half a fortune. Perhaps they are rich enough little boys that they have passports already, but I'm not buying the courier thing. But yes, this is a delightful, juvenile romp. And isn't that Buffy's little sister? Looks like her. (Internet says yes.) The Eurotrip movie is VERY enlightening. Very. Not for, y'know, any actual representation of Bratislava or whatever, but for what the boy *thinks* it should be like over there. Clearly, we need a dose of reality. No matter what the movie shows, people do not slug absinthe out of the thrice-damned bottle. (And if they do, I don't want to know about it.) I think it's poured over a spoonful of sugar and into water to thin it out and make it marginally more palatable. If we're going to drink dumb-ass green beverages, they are going to be gedrunken properly. I wonder if I could get him in a poet shirt while I'm angling for the proper and traditional approach... God, that would be funny. The only thing more amusing than skinny, fey-looking effete boys in drag is entirely butch, non-effete boys in drag.
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Date: 2006-05-15 09:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-15 01:38 pm (UTC)yes, into water, in approximately equal proportions. there's some sort of ceremony involving a sugar cube that's about as necessary to drinking absinthe (or it's US street-legal versions, Absente and Pernod) as salt and lime and somebody's body part are to drinking tequila.