(no subject)

I need some help. See, I've been told that it would make a lovely present for my grandmother to get the more attractive of my pictures (that'd be the ones involving flowers) printed out on high-dollar cardstock and paired up with sexy envelopes as sort of home-made notecards. I've been told that this will go over even better if the pictures say "The Flowers of Valley-Hi" or similar. (For the clueless, Valley-Hi is the dumb-ass name my grandfather gave to where I live. Other people, I realize, get to live in places that either have no names or have suitably amusing names like The Fabulous Beige House. Me, though, I get to live with the leftover name of my ancestors who haven't even been dead for long enough that I can claim things were different back then. [Although things were different back then. Truly, yesterday I was not born!] Honestly. Why couldn't I live in Malfoy Manor? Why couldn't I live in Casterly Rock? [I have always wanted to be a bad guy.] No. I live in Valley-Hi. And yes, he DID spell it incorrectly. On purpose. You've no idea the day-to-day pain that this causes me.) The cutesy factor of the concept of Flowers of Valley-Hi notecards is grating my last nerve, a very put-upon structure in the best of times, but we do what we must. (Duty and honor are all I know.)

( Anyway, on to the help part of the post... )