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Nov. 11th, 2005 07:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickI need some help. See, I've been told that it would make a lovely present for my grandmother to get the more attractive of my pictures (that'd be the ones involving flowers) printed out on high-dollar cardstock and paired up with sexy envelopes as sort of home-made notecards. I've been told that this will go over even better if the pictures say "The Flowers of Valley-Hi" or similar. (For the clueless, Valley-Hi is the dumb-ass name my grandfather gave to where I live. Other people, I realize, get to live in places that either have no names or have suitably amusing names like The Fabulous Beige House. Me, though, I get to live with the leftover name of my ancestors who haven't even been dead for long enough that I can claim things were different back then. [Although things were different back then. Truly, yesterday I was not born!] Honestly. Why couldn't I live in Malfoy Manor? Why couldn't I live in Casterly Rock? [I have always wanted to be a bad guy.] No. I live in Valley-Hi. And yes, he DID spell it incorrectly. On purpose. You've no idea the day-to-day pain that this causes me.) The cutesy factor of the concept of Flowers of Valley-Hi notecards is grating my last nerve, a very put-upon structure in the best of times, but we do what we must. (Duty and honor are all I know.)
What I need, here, is some way to get cards printed out (better than inkjet quality), about three of them per picture, with matching envelopes and so forth and not have it look like shit. I don't own a printer. I don't have the faintest idea where one might get high-dollar card stock with matching envelopes. I don't fucking send cards. (Sometimes, when I have sufficiently ired my grandmother, I get cards...They look like friendly little notes. They even sound mostly like friendly little notes. In truth, they are masterpieces of guilt, confections of obligation, turkish delights of duty. That's why we need heavy cardstock for this project.) Anyway, I have the sneaking suspicion that small print runs are going to cost me. This isn't the sort of thing I much feel like investigating, to be honest. I just don't want to piss around with it.
Anybody know anything about how I might best pursue this foolishness with the big winter holiday a couple of months hence? Advice appreciated. Mischief managed. I'd probably be less shirty about all of this bullshit if she were at least willing to rate the snake/newt/bug pictures as highly as those of flowers. I take very good snake/newt/bug pictures.
snake
newt
bug
other bug
She just likes the flower pictures and now there must be flower notecards. With envelopes. The thing here is that I have never seen any of these printed out. I have them on my computer. That's plenty. There is no hard copy. They're digital. Hard copy is so twentieth-century. *sigh*
What I need, here, is some way to get cards printed out (better than inkjet quality), about three of them per picture, with matching envelopes and so forth and not have it look like shit. I don't own a printer. I don't have the faintest idea where one might get high-dollar card stock with matching envelopes. I don't fucking send cards. (Sometimes, when I have sufficiently ired my grandmother, I get cards...They look like friendly little notes. They even sound mostly like friendly little notes. In truth, they are masterpieces of guilt, confections of obligation, turkish delights of duty. That's why we need heavy cardstock for this project.) Anyway, I have the sneaking suspicion that small print runs are going to cost me. This isn't the sort of thing I much feel like investigating, to be honest. I just don't want to piss around with it.
Anybody know anything about how I might best pursue this foolishness with the big winter holiday a couple of months hence? Advice appreciated. Mischief managed. I'd probably be less shirty about all of this bullshit if she were at least willing to rate the snake/newt/bug pictures as highly as those of flowers. I take very good snake/newt/bug pictures.
snake
newt
bug
other bug
She just likes the flower pictures and now there must be flower notecards. With envelopes. The thing here is that I have never seen any of these printed out. I have them on my computer. That's plenty. There is no hard copy. They're digital. Hard copy is so twentieth-century. *sigh*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Google is so your friend
Date: 2005-11-11 01:25 pm (UTC)100 lb. stock. $0.89 per card for a 3" x 5" notecard with envelope. Other sizes/prices available.
Re: Google is so your friend
Date: 2005-11-11 02:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-12 04:41 am (UTC)Also, given the amount of amusement I have had thus far and mom's suggestion that I send postal mail TO THE BOY, I may print up some postcards with interesting pictures on them and send postal mail to the boy. Unfortunately there are no dinosaurs and no tank engines and no roadrunners in Valley-Hi. I will, I suppose, have to make do with what we do have.
Pictures for the boy
Date: 2005-11-12 06:39 pm (UTC)Ahhh, this may be true, but:
[1] There are ferns in Valley-Hi. The boy thinks that dinosaurs live in ferns. A fern patch photo may be sufficient to get a four year old boy to think "Here there be dinosaurs..."
[2] There may be no tank engines, but there are...bulldozers and front end loaders and backhoes.
[3] Roadrunners have been spotted in Valley-Hi. A photograph of the boy, in his mind, would be classified as a "roadrunner" since, in his mind, he is now a roadrunner. See a recent (November 7) post on a related website for details.
He also likes spiders, so I think that bug photos may interest him. Probably snakes, too. Newts. Horses. Things that nana may not find interesting, the boy may find to be very interesting. How about a lawnmower, for instance? A picture of a mud puddle would probably go over well, especially if it is one that is iced over and has been recently stomped.