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Jan. 6th, 2006 09:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickToday was a very educational day at work.
1. MHMR (Mental Health/Mental Retardation -- they're a government social service to help people live independantly who are not able to do so on their own because they're mentally incompetent.) is not allowed to discuss the status of any client that they might have nor are they allowed to admit to having any clients even if you have the client's full name, social security number, caseworker's name, and caseworker's direct phone number at MHMR. It does not matter that you have been carbon-copying said caseworker at MHMR on every letter to their client for the last two years. They can still neither confirm nor deny anything regarding any client that they may or may not have, even if the client has not paid you any rent for December or January, has stated verbally several times that she has moved out (we need it in writing to prove that she has "moved out") , has repeatedly failed to return keys (we need keys to prove that she's moved out), and hasn't managed to turn off her utilities (another way we can legitimately claim she has "moved out")... placing us in a holding pattern with her dump of an apartment. She' s not officially out, so we can't do anything. We can't clean it out. We can't start fixing it back up. *sigh* If she can't be forced to do any of the things above (turn off utilities, tell us in writing that she has moved out, or give us the keys), the only way we can legally GET possession of the damn apartment is to spend two hundred dollars and six weeks to evict her. She's not living there. The only person who even has a chance of convincing her to do anything is her fucking caseworker, whom MHMR can neither confirm nor deny as a caseworker for somone named Lauren who may or may not be receiving services from MHMR. *sigh* This, by the way, is so that Lauren has dignity and privacy while she's costing us money. (Just so that you know, the apartment is completely filthy. There will be pictures on Monday so that you understand what I mean when I say that it's shovel-level. Lauren also has at least two small children and is breeding more. Your tax dollars at work!)
2. If the borough shuts off your water so that you can't flush the toilet anymore, it's okay to shit in the bathtub.
3. Putting your fist through the horsehair plaster and lath is a good outlet for your anger. Also, you feel manly because the holes it makes are quite large. Don't worry about your deposit -- with the nine hundred dollars (six months worth) of water bill that you owe, you ain't getting any of that back nohow. Might as well rack up the damages.
4. Leaving the floor of the kitchen covered in half an inch of masa harina is OK because that's an ethnic folkway.
5. "The apartment is cleaned out" means "I moved out all the stuff I wanted. Stuff that is broken, worthless, smelly, or otherwise undesireable has been left behind for you."
6. Just because the attic is padlocked does not mean you aren't allowed up in there. That's what bolt cutters and prybars are for.
7. If you've moved out, even though you haven't turned off utilities, given back keys, or given your landlord written notice, be sure to leave at least three windows wide open so that the landlord, who pays for the fucking heat, will remember you fondly. (This rule is only applicable during winter months.) Alternatively, turn the heat clean off and see if the pipes freeze to death before the landlord notices you've moved out. Helpful tip: Do not TELL the landlord that you've moved out until you happen to see her on the street, walking to lunch, a week or so after you've actually moved. (We had both of these happen today.)
8. "I think I saw someone in there the other day." means "I am telling you this lie so that I can later claim that all the damages were caused by the mystery apartment-trasher, so don't even think of trying to come back at me for more money." It may also mean "Five hundred people have keys to the place, better change the locks toot sweet."
Yep, very educational day today.
1. MHMR (Mental Health/Mental Retardation -- they're a government social service to help people live independantly who are not able to do so on their own because they're mentally incompetent.) is not allowed to discuss the status of any client that they might have nor are they allowed to admit to having any clients even if you have the client's full name, social security number, caseworker's name, and caseworker's direct phone number at MHMR. It does not matter that you have been carbon-copying said caseworker at MHMR on every letter to their client for the last two years. They can still neither confirm nor deny anything regarding any client that they may or may not have, even if the client has not paid you any rent for December or January, has stated verbally several times that she has moved out (we need it in writing to prove that she has "moved out") , has repeatedly failed to return keys (we need keys to prove that she's moved out), and hasn't managed to turn off her utilities (another way we can legitimately claim she has "moved out")... placing us in a holding pattern with her dump of an apartment. She' s not officially out, so we can't do anything. We can't clean it out. We can't start fixing it back up. *sigh* If she can't be forced to do any of the things above (turn off utilities, tell us in writing that she has moved out, or give us the keys), the only way we can legally GET possession of the damn apartment is to spend two hundred dollars and six weeks to evict her. She's not living there. The only person who even has a chance of convincing her to do anything is her fucking caseworker, whom MHMR can neither confirm nor deny as a caseworker for somone named Lauren who may or may not be receiving services from MHMR. *sigh* This, by the way, is so that Lauren has dignity and privacy while she's costing us money. (Just so that you know, the apartment is completely filthy. There will be pictures on Monday so that you understand what I mean when I say that it's shovel-level. Lauren also has at least two small children and is breeding more. Your tax dollars at work!)
2. If the borough shuts off your water so that you can't flush the toilet anymore, it's okay to shit in the bathtub.
3. Putting your fist through the horsehair plaster and lath is a good outlet for your anger. Also, you feel manly because the holes it makes are quite large. Don't worry about your deposit -- with the nine hundred dollars (six months worth) of water bill that you owe, you ain't getting any of that back nohow. Might as well rack up the damages.
4. Leaving the floor of the kitchen covered in half an inch of masa harina is OK because that's an ethnic folkway.
5. "The apartment is cleaned out" means "I moved out all the stuff I wanted. Stuff that is broken, worthless, smelly, or otherwise undesireable has been left behind for you."
6. Just because the attic is padlocked does not mean you aren't allowed up in there. That's what bolt cutters and prybars are for.
7. If you've moved out, even though you haven't turned off utilities, given back keys, or given your landlord written notice, be sure to leave at least three windows wide open so that the landlord, who pays for the fucking heat, will remember you fondly. (This rule is only applicable during winter months.) Alternatively, turn the heat clean off and see if the pipes freeze to death before the landlord notices you've moved out. Helpful tip: Do not TELL the landlord that you've moved out until you happen to see her on the street, walking to lunch, a week or so after you've actually moved. (We had both of these happen today.)
8. "I think I saw someone in there the other day." means "I am telling you this lie so that I can later claim that all the damages were caused by the mystery apartment-trasher, so don't even think of trying to come back at me for more money." It may also mean "Five hundred people have keys to the place, better change the locks toot sweet."
Yep, very educational day today.
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-07 06:23 am (UTC)Damn...
Tenant Fun
Date: 2006-01-07 09:14 pm (UTC)Sorry about the apt and I really hope the pipes didn't freeze. We are well rid of her.
And remember, she still has her dignity....
no subject
Date: 2006-01-08 05:02 am (UTC)Re: Tenant Fun
Date: 2006-01-08 02:35 pm (UTC)The real treasure Lauren left behind was the chartreuse sofa, the one in the living room. Sheila left two bed frames, some particleboard shit, half a danish modern dresser, one of them huge cabinet-style, four thousand pound tvs from the 70's, and a ton of crap in the attic where they weren't to be. None of it is worth anything.
You'll be interested to know that Lauren & co. moved into two trailers that Tom (the husband) bought. One of them, she informed me proudly, had a roof. From the way she put it, I expect that the other one does not. I am not sure what the hell good a roofless trailer is, but then Lauren's mind doesn't work the way mine does. (I could move that period back four words and the sentence would read just as accurately.)
I always thought it was interesting how Lauren used the baby gate to keep the children penned up in the one "clean" room in the entire apartment.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-08 07:01 pm (UTC)Re: Tenant Fun
Date: 2006-01-09 04:45 am (UTC)