(no subject)
Dec. 8th, 2005 07:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickI will be heading off to the hospital early early tomorrow morning for a TAH (Total Abdominal Hysterectomy) via a bikini-line incision.
A total abdominal hysterectomy is where the doc will remove my uterus and cervix but he'll leave my ovaries, which help out with stuff like bone density and sex drive. Not that anyone's asked, but it appears from assorted websites on the subject that the doc just sort of sews the top of the vagina shut and leaves it there kind of like the Road To Nowhere (I-99) up north of me. This is going on because I have a fibroid uterus that's about the size of a twenty-week pregnancy. As fibroid uterii go, that's on the large side. Fibroids are NON-CANCEROUS solid tissure growths that occur in something like 25% of women, usually appearing after age 30. Fibroids run in my family on my mother's side. Many times, fibroids can be ignored, but my fibroids are causing an amount of menstrual bleeding that is fucking up my life to the point where I am not willing to deal with it one moment longer. Also, I look five months pregnant ALL THE TIME. That's kind of annoying.
I have asked the doc to provide me with pictures of the removed bits and he hasn't said no outright, so perhaps there will be visual aids at a later date. One can only hope. If there are pictures, I will certainly put them behind a cut and clearly lable them so that normal people do not wind up being exposed to hunks-of-defective-girl-meat by accident. (I am probably not the only person on the planet who thinks this kind of stuff is interesting. No matter whether others agree or not, it's my hysterectomy and I'm entitled to whatever fun I can have with it.)
At any rate, I should be home either Sunday or Monday and, if providence allows, will post no later than Tuesday explaining how I am and likely bitching about how much everything sux0rs. (I'm not a fan of doctors or surgery or medication or much of anything on that front, really.)
Things to look forward to in a post-op world:
New underwear without holes or blood stains
New sheets without blood stains
More closet space (for the new sheets, natch)
Tremendous cost savings on feminine protection products. More money for toys!
Approximately fifteen bonus period-free years. (That's almost two hundred periods. Damn. This is like a get-out-of-jail-free card.)
It may take me a while to get to where I feel good enough for smirking, but there is GOING to be smirking.
A total abdominal hysterectomy is where the doc will remove my uterus and cervix but he'll leave my ovaries, which help out with stuff like bone density and sex drive. Not that anyone's asked, but it appears from assorted websites on the subject that the doc just sort of sews the top of the vagina shut and leaves it there kind of like the Road To Nowhere (I-99) up north of me. This is going on because I have a fibroid uterus that's about the size of a twenty-week pregnancy. As fibroid uterii go, that's on the large side. Fibroids are NON-CANCEROUS solid tissure growths that occur in something like 25% of women, usually appearing after age 30. Fibroids run in my family on my mother's side. Many times, fibroids can be ignored, but my fibroids are causing an amount of menstrual bleeding that is fucking up my life to the point where I am not willing to deal with it one moment longer. Also, I look five months pregnant ALL THE TIME. That's kind of annoying.
I have asked the doc to provide me with pictures of the removed bits and he hasn't said no outright, so perhaps there will be visual aids at a later date. One can only hope. If there are pictures, I will certainly put them behind a cut and clearly lable them so that normal people do not wind up being exposed to hunks-of-defective-girl-meat by accident. (I am probably not the only person on the planet who thinks this kind of stuff is interesting. No matter whether others agree or not, it's my hysterectomy and I'm entitled to whatever fun I can have with it.)
At any rate, I should be home either Sunday or Monday and, if providence allows, will post no later than Tuesday explaining how I am and likely bitching about how much everything sux0rs. (I'm not a fan of doctors or surgery or medication or much of anything on that front, really.)
Things to look forward to in a post-op world:
New underwear without holes or blood stains
New sheets without blood stains
More closet space (for the new sheets, natch)
Tremendous cost savings on feminine protection products. More money for toys!
Approximately fifteen bonus period-free years. (That's almost two hundred periods. Damn. This is like a get-out-of-jail-free card.)
It may take me a while to get to where I feel good enough for smirking, but there is GOING to be smirking.
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 12:24 am (UTC)Do you have music to play during the surgery? Nah, they probably won't let you listen to it (yes, I know you'll be put out. If you think that stops your ears and brain, you're not correct). How about for after?
Any books to read?
I was recently asked for teen friendly stuff with Yaoi. I recommended Prince of Tennis for them.
Thinking about you!
no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 01:01 am (UTC)I don't have music for after, but that's because the hospital refuses to guarantee the safety of any personal property I bring with me. I am not bringing anything that can be flogged for heroin money if they can't promise me that my shit won't get ripped off. Books, nobody steals.
And, well, we get television. Perhaps there will be commercials. I like commercials.
On the bright side, they tell me that I get to be on the Maternity floor. With women and their newborns. I know that you can't see it from here, but I'm practically quivering with anticipation of that particular joy. I note with interest that the admitting lady tried to slant this as a benefit -- if I heard a baby crying, I could relax because I didn't have to get up to look after it. I have NEVER had to get up to look after the baby so I'm probably not able to properly appreciate this luxury.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 01:09 am (UTC)"I am probably not the only person on the planet who thinks this kind of stuff is interesting."
I find it interesting too. But then again I'm weird.
By the way, random fact that you probably are aware of:
Women who get their ovaries removed in average live 8 years less than what they normally would have. Well, unless that's done a number of years after menopause.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 03:46 am (UTC)Bye-bye girl parts!
no subject
Date: 2005-12-09 04:25 am (UTC)(And I'm jealous of fifteen period free years. Though the IUD is pretty well taking care of that for me.)