(no subject)

[which_chick]

We're in the middle of deer season right now. The deer are all stirred up in the woods and more of them get hit on the road this time of year. As I was driving into work today, there was a deer lying on the road, curled up in the Bambi's Mother pose, with the front legs bent underneath the chest and the head and neck up and reasonably alert. It wasn't dead yet, but since it was in the middle of the left-hand lane on westbound Route 30 (Lincoln Highway), I didn't figure it long survived my passing.



At work, Bill jumpered the electric for #5 so that there could be radio for painting. Radio only comes in one flavor for Bill and that's WSKE, the local country station. I don't think WSKE has been borged yet -- it's a teeny market and I don't think anyone wants to acquire it. One of the things that WSKE has is the trading post, where people call in to sell and buy stuff. It's free and takes a half an hour, from 10:30 to 11:00 AM on weekday mornings. There are a lot of Free for giveaway, calico kittens or I have a fold-out sofabed with no cushions, asking ten dollars ads. (Sometimes there are pretty decent deals. I got a PS/2 --works, with all cables, two wireless controllers, one wired controller, and a memory card, for eighty bucks the other day. Bought it from a local heroin addict.) Today on the trading post, in order, were the following items: For Sale: Nine millimeter pistol, serious inquiries only, asking two hundred and fifteen dollars. Free to a good home: Bluetick coonhound, housebroke. 1989 Ford F-150 pickup, manual transmission, 4WD, runs good, inspected until 2007. And I thought to myself: You might be a redneck if... Because there is radio at work, I am far more country-music literate than I generally admit to being. Current fav: Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off.

Later in the day, Ardell came into the office to pay his rent. He took that opportunity to inform M. that Melva (in the same building) had acquired a one-legged wild mallard duck from the local park and was keeping it in her apartment. M, of course, called me to ask me to check on whether or not Melva had a one-legged duck in her apartment. Melva wasn't home but her door was cracked open. I peeked inside. I did not see a duck. However, Melva is not much of a housekeeper (though she's not the worst we have -- that'd be Tom and Lauren) so I could have overlooked a fucking giraffe in the apartment. I will try again tomorrow to see about the duck situation.

Comments

[gwangi.livejournal.com]

You should have stopped and put the deer down.

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

Route 30 is a four lane with seventy-mile-an-hour traffic on it. There is no way I'm going to run out to the middle lane (the passing lane, the lane where the obscenely speeding drive) of Route 30 to attempt to club a deer to death with a tire iron at seven-thirty in the morning. This is because I am a cold bitch who lacks compassion BUT ALSO because I know how people drive on 30 and I have no desire to become road pizza myself.

[sara-merry99.livejournal.com]

Take the coonhound, Teep, you know you want to! :)

Be vwery quiet..Its duck season..an I'm hunting a duck

[valleyhi.livejournal.com]

I am wondering if the one-legged duck is related to the magical cat which appeared from thin air. Just think of it, her apartment could be not only a public health hazzard (har har har ) but place much like the Inn of Inderminate Location for magical animals. Only this hotel has a zero star rating.
I hope the poor duck lives til you rescue it from her..or rather the authorities come to confiscate the duck. Keeping wildlife sorts of things as pets is illegal. Then of course Ardell isn't all that bright and might not recognize a duck as being different from say, a bar of soap. So you could be hunting for a figment of his imagination.

[staceman.livejournal.com]

There was cruel fun to be had with the trading post when "Marty King" was hosting it, especially in the days before CallerID. There were times he would really flip out on people right on the air for making prank calls. And of course, that's why we they kept doing it. Sometimes it didn't even take a prank call to set him off; he'd get rather annoyed also at people who broke the "one call, per week, per household" rule.

Ah, the good ol' days of fucking with people. ;)