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May. 11th, 2005 01:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickI think it's time for a little satire. This one isn't A Modest Proposal but it's fun anyway.
Also, I have flung shit at the fan with the following paragraph addressed to our summer people*:
Finally, from the date of this letter, two-wheeled motorized conveyances suitable for off-road use will NOT be permitted on Valley-Hi Development Association property. This prohibition includes dirt bikes, off-road BMX bikes, and off-road motorcycles. Street-legal, licensed motorcycles are permitted on the plowed roads (Valley-Hi Road, East Shore Drive, and Mountainside Road to the turnaround) but not elsewhere. If you are not sure whether or not your two-wheeled motorized conveyance is a prohibited vehicle, please ask us for a written ruling on the vehicle in question before operating it on Association property.
All ya'll recall the ninja bikes, right?
*Summer people are the people, unrelated to me, who own a 1/4 acre piece of land (with or without a house) in the valley. They pay a yearly membership fee (not very expensive) for the right to walk, swim, 4-Wheel ATV, hunt, and otherwise twink around on our land, which is about five hundred acres (with a forty acre lake) of woods. I do not much like the summer people. I don't like their dogs, their children, their grandchildren, their propensity for mowing, their ATVs, their inability to drive in the snow, their whining about the dust from the dirt road, their need to burn things on dry, windy days, their drive to cut down all the fucking trees between the road and the lake (these trees are on property that they do not own, btw), their total cluelessness about ecology, their willful blowing away of harmless constrictor snakes, or their many other unappealing aspects. When I refer to the summer people, I am probably not going to say kind things.
And yea, the voice of reason says If you don't like the summer people, why did you sell the land to them? Some of the summer people have been around for thirty years. I am thirty-five. I inherited the summer people. The sins of the fathers...
Also, I have flung shit at the fan with the following paragraph addressed to our summer people*:
Finally, from the date of this letter, two-wheeled motorized conveyances suitable for off-road use will NOT be permitted on Valley-Hi Development Association property. This prohibition includes dirt bikes, off-road BMX bikes, and off-road motorcycles. Street-legal, licensed motorcycles are permitted on the plowed roads (Valley-Hi Road, East Shore Drive, and Mountainside Road to the turnaround) but not elsewhere. If you are not sure whether or not your two-wheeled motorized conveyance is a prohibited vehicle, please ask us for a written ruling on the vehicle in question before operating it on Association property.
All ya'll recall the ninja bikes, right?
*Summer people are the people, unrelated to me, who own a 1/4 acre piece of land (with or without a house) in the valley. They pay a yearly membership fee (not very expensive) for the right to walk, swim, 4-Wheel ATV, hunt, and otherwise twink around on our land, which is about five hundred acres (with a forty acre lake) of woods. I do not much like the summer people. I don't like their dogs, their children, their grandchildren, their propensity for mowing, their ATVs, their inability to drive in the snow, their whining about the dust from the dirt road, their need to burn things on dry, windy days, their drive to cut down all the fucking trees between the road and the lake (these trees are on property that they do not own, btw), their total cluelessness about ecology, their willful blowing away of harmless constrictor snakes, or their many other unappealing aspects. When I refer to the summer people, I am probably not going to say kind things.
And yea, the voice of reason says If you don't like the summer people, why did you sell the land to them? Some of the summer people have been around for thirty years. I am thirty-five. I inherited the summer people. The sins of the fathers...
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Date: 2005-05-11 08:53 pm (UTC)