(no subject)

[which_chick]

Tuesday grocery post. There will be bitching after the cut. And porn!

Old grocery budget: $1563.58
Grocery spending: 19.26
New grocery budget: $1544.32



Tuesday is apparently produce delivery day. However, the available greens were not acceptable. There was kale. There were collards. Both of these dark, leafy greens were only available for sale in sealed plastic bags. The large leaves had been cut into approximately 2" squares. This is unacceptable. I spoke with the produce manager, or someone claiming to be the produce manager. I asked if these pretend collards were the new way or merely temporary insanity. The produce manager allowed as how those *were* "real" collards. *sigh* I explained about chiffonaded collards and why this was not possible if I had to start with 2" squares. I feel certain that the produce manager person or his replicant engaged in much rolling of eyes after our discussion -- I am a fucking lunatic. Probably nobody else in the entire body of people who shop at the Weis is going to complain about the fucking collards.

I accept and embrace my lunacy.

There is no way that the produce manager would know that the pre-cut, bagged collards were unacceptable if I didn't tell him about it. (We will ignore the fact that if the market flat out refuses to buy these already-prepped collards, that'd be a pretty fucking blatent signal to the produce manager that he could get without having to smile and nod during my discussion of knife techniques for greens.) I didn't yell at him. I was polite, but I don't think that pre-cut, bagged collard greens are acceptable and I want real ones. The produce guy claims that they will be carrying both kinds of collards and kale -- the bagged, pre-cut kind and the real kind. I'm somewhat skeptical about this because I think it's going to be like the broccoli crowns.

Once, grocery stores in my area sold real broccoli, the whole thing, top and stem. Then some grocery stores started selling crowns -- just the top parts, without the stems. They still carried regular broccoli for a while, but after about six months, all they sold was crowns. You couldn't buy real broccoli anymore. (You're probably rolling your eyes like the produce manager right now, going You promised me porn and you're giving me a rant about produce!) I like the stems better. I always have. The tops are soggy and run bitter. The stems stay firm and they're sweet. I am NOT HAPPY about the broccoli crown situation. I buy broccoli crowns and I eat them but I am NOT HAPPY about this. I wish the grocery stores sold real broccoli, like they used to, and I think that what happened to the broccoli is going to happen to collards and kale. *sigh*

Also, not that I worry about grocery prices, but the bagged, pre-cut collards are more expensive than real ones. Less satisfying, costs more!

[sarcasm]Yeah, I'm all for that.[/sarcasm]

Buggerit.

And now, the promised porn. Here's an article that I think makes some salient points about porn. (I'm pro-porn. I read a lot of porn. I like porn. This doesn't mean that it's good for me or that we should have more of it.) For those not inclined to read an entire article just on my say-so, the best line in the thing is the following: Today, real naked women are just bad porn.

Standards are a lot higher in porn these days -- the people you see in porn are mostly pretty damn nice, unrealistically so. Surgery and Photoshop can accomplish a lot. The article (it's not a bad read) talks about Behind the Green Door, a film that starred Marilyn Chambers in 1972. Since I've got third-string porn from the 1970's (Genesis, the magazine for men, January 1975) featuring Marilyn Chambers, we can see what was allegedly hot in the early seventies. I was amazed to discover that Marilyn Chambers, get this, looks like a real person.

Don't believe me? Check it out...

Now, let's look at another porn star, a modern one. Here's Jenna Jameson. Jenna is pretty, underneath the makeup, but she doesn't look even close to real and those tits were not factory-installed. They're aftermarket.

Women who go into porn turn into porn stars, which means they stop looking like normal women. Charges, over at Rollertrain has a nice post about the porning-out of the bodies of porn stars. I figure it's rather like pimping out one's riceburner. There are before-and-after pictures, v. educational stuff.

Comments

[fooliv.livejournal.com]

That was making the rounds of the blogsphere a while back. Eh, my feeling is that in the era of AIDS and antibiotic-resistent VDs, that's a selling point of porn. If you're catching something off of porn, you're not using it right.

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

In the days when I actually had a sex life that involved other people, I never caught anything as a result. However, you've got a point. Porn is also a cheap date, doesn't leave the seat up, won't drink out of the container, and has absolutely no interest in fucking me before I've had a chance to pee and drink a cup of coffee in the morning.