(no subject)

[which_chick]

So, I go to the store to buy jeans. Most of the time, I can pass through society looking like a mostly-normal person. Yeah, I talk to myself in the produce aisle. Okay, I have trouble with eye contact. Sue me. People don't normally feel moved to resort to point-n-stare when they see me.



I cannot understand, for the life of me, how any woman anywhere on the planet, could possibly enjoy clothing shopping. Ever. I avoided an autistic-like meltdown but it was a near thing. Every nerve in my body was like "This sucks. The clothes, they are all WRONG! Why can't there be clothes that I want, that fit me, that are suitable for work?"

Today I needed jeans. My work jeans are, well, falling apart. Part of the problem is that WalMart makes shit quality jeans and they're getting ever cheaper... so they don't hold together under the sorts of things that I do to them. Also, pony lady allowed as how I had better just pack a damn pair of clean jeans for pony because I was getting too grubby at work to ride in my existing jeans. (i get grubby by walking out of the house in the morning. It's like my superpower or something.) That being the case, I also needed jeans without yuck on them for pony.

So, clothes shopping. I hate it. Even if I go in on purpose to buy something that I honestly need, I hate the entire experience.

I am a size 12 in jeans. I don't *love* this fact, but I can admit to it without hiding my head in shame. I do not want "instantly slimming" jeans. The jean choices were either "instantly slimming" or "relaxed fit". Can't I just be a size twelve without slimming or relaxing? Please?

I do not want jeans that stretch. There were not any jeans there that did not stretch. All the jeans had lycra in the family tree. What is that shit? Jeans should not stretch.

I don't want low-riding jeans because when I bend down to fuck with a sink drain, the crack of my ass shows in low-riding jeans, or it would if I didn't wear high-waisted granny underwear that doesn't fucking ride up the crack of my ass. In reality, what you see when I bend down in low-riding jeans is the back of my granny underwear, which is in humiliating girlie colors like pink, purple, and peach. (Some of them have flower designs, too, for fuck's sake.) There were *some* not-low-riding jeans. I bought the medium rise jeans ("below natural waist") because I'm short-waisted enough that those jeans sit at my actual waist. (Jeans designed to sit at the "natural waist" button somewhere on my ribcage.) However, the selection in everything but "low rise" was shitty.

I also would like to buy jeans that have front pockets that will hold more than a pack of gum. All the jean pockets were cut off short on the front pockets. They were wrong. WRONG. STUPID POCKETS!!

I was unable to purchase suitable jeans at WalMart. Instead, I bought three pairs of unsuitable jeans and got pissed off in the process. All jeans now have front pockets that are not big enough for my hands or my keys. All jeans now stretch. All jeans are made of thin material like tshirts. FUCK.

These will hold me for a while but next time I will have to shop somewhere else. Tractor Supply has jeans but I don't know if they have a place to try them on. I have to try on every single pair of jeans because last time I did not do that. It turns out that twelve mediums in the exact same cut, color, and brand are not all the same. So, every pair has to be tried on.

Also, the mirrors in the dressing rooms make me look fat. I am not as fat as the mirrors make me look. I'm not. I look like shit under those lights, too. My skin tone is not corpse grey in real life, honest. And my fat, wobbly thighs do NOT look like maggots. They don't.

If there were any chance at all that the jeans in the men's section would fit me, I would buy them. Men's jeans totally do not fit me. (It's the ass.) I cannot wear man jeans so I am stuck shopping in the women's section where jeans are a fashion item instead of something I wear to work because nudity isn't a good idea when you're tearing off a metal roof. I hate this. I hate it a lot.

(Walmart did have acceptable ankle socks and acceptable work boot options, so I got through those purchases without excessive drama and stress.)

Also, took my recycling in today, got a hundred and four dollars (brass and copper). Hurray!

Comments

[en-ki.livejournal.com]

Tractor Supply sounds like an awesome place to get jeans.

Wal*Mart sounds like a less than awesome place to get anything ever. I've only been in there like three times. Here we don't have Republican Chinese Commodity Crap stores; we prefer DLC-Democrat Chinese Commodity Crap stores such as Targét. Likewise, in the bulk store department, we don't have Sam's Club; we have politically neutral BJ's and LBJ-Democrat Costco.

(Vegetables, of course, come from Anarchist Haymarket.)

[fooliv.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to agree about the crap WalMart jeans situation. I bought two pair late last April, and one's completely blown out in the crotch, and the other pair is maybe one wash away from losing it as well. Jeans should last longer than four months, even if I do walk a few miles a day in them.