(no subject)

[which_chick]

Recently, Mr. Ex-Tenant Chad discovered that he needed an absolutely spotless credit record to swing the 100% financing deal he wanted on the house he was buying. Mr. Ex-Tenant Chad rented an apartment from us back in 2000, in a building we don't even own anymore, and we evicted him.



Pretty well. Mr. Ex-Tenant Chad called to find out what he owed on the judgment. ($741.90) Mr. Ex-Tenant Chad asked if we'd be in to take his money and to file a satisfaction piece ($7.50) at the prothonotary's office so that he could close on his house tomorrow.

Yes, Mr. Ex-Tenant Chad, we will be in to take your money, even if it means staying a little late.

Yes, Mr. Ex-Tenant Chad, we will file a satisfaction piece at the prothonotary and we'll even pay for the filing. We will spend seven and a half dollars to get seven hundred and then some on every single day of the week. Twice on Sundays.

Yes, Mr. Ex-Tenant Chad, we will make you free photocopies and let you use our fax machine.

For seven hundred forty one dollars and ninety cents, Mr. Ex-Tenant Chad, I'd have showed you my tits. Pity you didn't think to ask for that.

Comments

[fooliv.livejournal.com]

100% financing deal, eh? On a customer with a rental eviction on his record? What mortgage company and real estate firm is involved in that horribly predictable default so's I can make sure I don't ever deal with them if I can possibly avoid it?

[cousin-sue.livejournal.com]

Ah, my.

You don't want to show your bits to someone like that. Not even for $700. He is unworthy.

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

I've never given much thought to whether or not the recipient of tittage was worthy, only whether or not I felt it was worth my time. Seven hundred bucks to flash the goods? You betcha. How about fifty bucks? Try me -- It'd depend on my mood but the odds are pretty good if you're not an asshole about it. Twenty-five? Only if I liked you anyway. Ten dollah, I laugh in your face. Real value of seeing-my-tits: Somewhere between fifty dollars and twenty-five dollars. I am not certain that there exists a reasonably-polite individual on the planet to whom I would not flash the goods for fifty dollars.

Flash the goods only lets you look at 'em. No touchie. You go for a fondle and you'll pull back a stump. Term of exposure not to exceed two minutes (I bore easily) and it will cost more (a lot more) if you get any bodily fluids on me.

I don't really see why it'd be wrong to show my tits for money. I mean, honestly, quite a few people have seen 'em for free. It's not like they're some sort of big (ha!) secret prize. Hell, most of the people who have seen my tits have seen 'em just for the asking. Seeing as how that's so, if people want to pay me for something I give away for free, I'm not going to stop them.

[cousin-sue.livejournal.com]

If only it were that easy...

[jaltemba-bay.livejournal.com]

I think fooliv hit the nail right on the head. I did not think that anyone was stril giving out 100% mortgages anymore. This is a foreclosure in the making.

Congrats on getting the bucks. Sometimes it does pay to record judgements.

[jaltemba-bay.livejournal.com]

Dealing with this mortgage company may not be too bad, but I don't think investion in them is a good idea.

[alcoholicmemory.livejournal.com]

I'd show my tits for $700 right now, and I don't even have tits.