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Nov. 29th, 2006 06:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickI know everyone's been edge-of-the-seat all day waiting for this, but the wait is over. I present, for your delectation, The Amazing Tatie & Lentil & Mushroom Stew (exclamation points not included).
(For my mother: The ! is called a bang in some circles and an exclamation point in others. And you already have this recipe anyway, because where do you think I got it from?)
The Amazing Tatie & Lentil & Mushroom Stew (I've upgraded from -n- to & since yesterday, did you notice? That's why no money for exclamation points. I'm on a budget, here.)
Annotated Ingredients:
2 T olive oil or butter or some combination thereof. I'd go a heavier hand on the fat here if I didn't have any stock (see below for the major liquid ingredient) on hand.
1 medium white onion, chopped. I use this ingredient a lot. A medium white onion is about the size of a tennis ball. A baseball would be a little big, I think.
some cloves of garlic, real ones, not that canned pre-chopped shit, like maybe four or so, peeled and minced/pressed into wee pieces. No, I am not a food snob. Why do you ask? Look. Cloves of garlic keep beautifully in the freezer. There is no excuse for using the chopped shit.
3 cups water or 3 cups poultry (chicken/turkey) stock or some combination thereof. Beef stock is too strong so don't use it. Also don't bother with that canned stuff. It's expensive for what you get and anyway real men make their own stock.
about four medium-sized unpeeled red potatoes, cut into cubes slightly smaller than you would use for potato salad. The recipe says "two cups" of tatie cubes, but it was written by an absolute wanker who probably also irons his underwear. I eyeballed it and it's about four medium-sized red potatoes. If you think I'm going to fucking measure cups of potato cubes, you're clearly as much of a wanker as the idiot who wrote the recipe.
1 cup (measured dry and uncooked) regular brown lentils, rinsed and picked over to remove stones. I buy the cheaper lentils, which ups my odds of finding a rock in them. The Goya brand is particularly bad for rocks.
8 oz fresh white button mushrooms. Mushrooms are normally sold in pound or half-pound lots. This is the half-pound lot and white button mushrooms are the cheap and ubiquitous ones that I can buy all the time at the Weis. On a somewhat unrelated note, ages and ages ago I flirted outrageously with a guy who went by Ubik on IRC.
2 cans of whole canned tomatoes, the "normal" small can size, not the 28-oz size. I don't approve of the canned, chopped tomatoes. Buy the whole ones and cut them into pieces of a size that you feel will go aesthetically with the potato cubes. Yes, this is important.
1/4 cup dried parsley. You can use fresh if you have it, but I don't know how much you would need.
1 teaspoon cumin Cumin is probably the cowbell of my cooking.
1/2 teaspoon salt Yep, you do need it. I realize that there is some salt in most canned tomatoes, but the plain lentils and plain potatoes and plain mushrooms and plain stock/water can seriously use some damn salt.
1/2 teaspoon black pepper This is twice what the recipe calls for in the original. I like pepper.
1/4 teaspoon (but kind of rounded) mace If you make this a level quarter-teaspoon, that'd be following the original (wanker-written, see above) recipe.
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper There isn't any of this in the original. I just added it on spec because it went really, really well in The Hungry Tiger's lentil-with-fennel stew thing and there are very few things unimproved by cayenne pepper. It went in beautifully and I've since amended the recipe to match the improved reality.
Instructions:
In large pan, assemble fat, onion, and garlic. Cook until onions are soft and fragrant. Add water/stock, cut-up tomatoes from can WITH JUICE, lentils, parsley, and spices. Cook about ten minutes on medium. While you're doing the "cook about ten minutes" thing, rinse and slice the mushrooms and add them to the pot. Stir the pot occasionally. Then scrub, dice, and add the potatoes to the pot. Stir the pot occasionally. Taste and adjust spices, but remember that *both* red pepper and mace take a while to hit so don't get heavy-handed with them just because you can't taste them yet. Cook until (a) potatoes are soft enough to eat (b) mushrooms appear to be done and (c) lentils are fully cooked and soft. The general consistency should be of a very thick soup kind of a thing. It's got liquid only to fill in the spaces between the food items.
Makes a whole lot and is infinitely better the second day.
(For my mother: The ! is called a bang in some circles and an exclamation point in others. And you already have this recipe anyway, because where do you think I got it from?)
The Amazing Tatie & Lentil & Mushroom Stew (I've upgraded from -n- to & since yesterday, did you notice? That's why no money for exclamation points. I'm on a budget, here.)
Annotated Ingredients:
2 T olive oil or butter or some combination thereof. I'd go a heavier hand on the fat here if I didn't have any stock (see below for the major liquid ingredient) on hand.
1 medium white onion, chopped. I use this ingredient a lot. A medium white onion is about the size of a tennis ball. A baseball would be a little big, I think.
some cloves of garlic, real ones, not that canned pre-chopped shit, like maybe four or so, peeled and minced/pressed into wee pieces. No, I am not a food snob. Why do you ask? Look. Cloves of garlic keep beautifully in the freezer. There is no excuse for using the chopped shit.
3 cups water or 3 cups poultry (chicken/turkey) stock or some combination thereof. Beef stock is too strong so don't use it. Also don't bother with that canned stuff. It's expensive for what you get and anyway real men make their own stock.
about four medium-sized unpeeled red potatoes, cut into cubes slightly smaller than you would use for potato salad. The recipe says "two cups" of tatie cubes, but it was written by an absolute wanker who probably also irons his underwear. I eyeballed it and it's about four medium-sized red potatoes. If you think I'm going to fucking measure cups of potato cubes, you're clearly as much of a wanker as the idiot who wrote the recipe.
1 cup (measured dry and uncooked) regular brown lentils, rinsed and picked over to remove stones. I buy the cheaper lentils, which ups my odds of finding a rock in them. The Goya brand is particularly bad for rocks.
8 oz fresh white button mushrooms. Mushrooms are normally sold in pound or half-pound lots. This is the half-pound lot and white button mushrooms are the cheap and ubiquitous ones that I can buy all the time at the Weis. On a somewhat unrelated note, ages and ages ago I flirted outrageously with a guy who went by Ubik on IRC.
2 cans of whole canned tomatoes, the "normal" small can size, not the 28-oz size. I don't approve of the canned, chopped tomatoes. Buy the whole ones and cut them into pieces of a size that you feel will go aesthetically with the potato cubes. Yes, this is important.
1/4 cup dried parsley. You can use fresh if you have it, but I don't know how much you would need.
1 teaspoon cumin Cumin is probably the cowbell of my cooking.
1/2 teaspoon salt Yep, you do need it. I realize that there is some salt in most canned tomatoes, but the plain lentils and plain potatoes and plain mushrooms and plain stock/water can seriously use some damn salt.
1/2 teaspoon black pepper This is twice what the recipe calls for in the original. I like pepper.
1/4 teaspoon (but kind of rounded) mace If you make this a level quarter-teaspoon, that'd be following the original (wanker-written, see above) recipe.
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper There isn't any of this in the original. I just added it on spec because it went really, really well in The Hungry Tiger's lentil-with-fennel stew thing and there are very few things unimproved by cayenne pepper. It went in beautifully and I've since amended the recipe to match the improved reality.
Instructions:
In large pan, assemble fat, onion, and garlic. Cook until onions are soft and fragrant. Add water/stock, cut-up tomatoes from can WITH JUICE, lentils, parsley, and spices. Cook about ten minutes on medium. While you're doing the "cook about ten minutes" thing, rinse and slice the mushrooms and add them to the pot. Stir the pot occasionally. Then scrub, dice, and add the potatoes to the pot. Stir the pot occasionally. Taste and adjust spices, but remember that *both* red pepper and mace take a while to hit so don't get heavy-handed with them just because you can't taste them yet. Cook until (a) potatoes are soft enough to eat (b) mushrooms appear to be done and (c) lentils are fully cooked and soft. The general consistency should be of a very thick soup kind of a thing. It's got liquid only to fill in the spaces between the food items.
Makes a whole lot and is infinitely better the second day.
