My snowball bush is a hydrangea paniculata grandiflora. It's huge and most years it looks like this:

I like my snowball bush. I like it a lot. I've liked it for the twenty-odd years it's been in my yard. I like watching the flowers go from white to bronze-pink and then linger through the winter. I mulch it with like six inches of horse shit every year so that it can continue to flower in such a prolific fashion.
You know who else likes my snowball bush? Peggy down the road. I do not like Peggy down the road. We are definitely Not Friends. Friends is not what we are. But every year, she asks if she can have blossoms from my snowball bush for her home decor or whatever.
And every year, I say yes. *sigh* I do not want to say yes, but if I say no, as I have in the past, she then goes to my dad and asks him and HE says "She won't mind, go ahead" and then I have to suck it up or undercut my dad, which I will not do. (I am fifty. My dad is seventy-eight.)
I have explained to my dad (in every "overruled by dad" year) that Peggy down the road is not allowed to have my snowball bush flowers and that he is not allowed to give permission for Peggy down the road to take snowball bush flowers. I've explained that I don't like Peggy and have previously said no to her before he's said yes. And Dad says "You have so many. You can't even see where she's taken them from. Sue (dad's wife) is friends with her. Just let it go." He does not understand how this infuriates me.
This year Peggy down the road asked me about snowball bush flowers early this spring. Fucking bitch. And I said yes because there was nothing else I could say.
Sure, Peggy down the road, you fucking bitch with whom I am definitely NOT FRIENDS, you can have some blooms from my snowball bush this year.
However, this year, unlike every single other year, there are no blossoms within human reach on the snowball bush. It has been spite-pruned of every single even-remotely-reachable bud prior to blooming so that absolutely no flowers at all exist within reach of Peggy down the road even if she (old, round, short lady) gets a ladder.
I am kind of wondering if she'll be dumb enough to mention it to me. "Wow, which_chick, there were only flowers at the unreachable tippy top of your snowball bush this year and it was covered with buds earlier, what's that about?"
I don't think she's that dumb, but if she is, I will answer her.
"I cut them off specifically so that you couldn't have any."
Snowball bush is going to look spectacular this year. :)

I like my snowball bush. I like it a lot. I've liked it for the twenty-odd years it's been in my yard. I like watching the flowers go from white to bronze-pink and then linger through the winter. I mulch it with like six inches of horse shit every year so that it can continue to flower in such a prolific fashion.
You know who else likes my snowball bush? Peggy down the road. I do not like Peggy down the road. We are definitely Not Friends. Friends is not what we are. But every year, she asks if she can have blossoms from my snowball bush for her home decor or whatever.
And every year, I say yes. *sigh* I do not want to say yes, but if I say no, as I have in the past, she then goes to my dad and asks him and HE says "She won't mind, go ahead" and then I have to suck it up or undercut my dad, which I will not do. (I am fifty. My dad is seventy-eight.)
I have explained to my dad (in every "overruled by dad" year) that Peggy down the road is not allowed to have my snowball bush flowers and that he is not allowed to give permission for Peggy down the road to take snowball bush flowers. I've explained that I don't like Peggy and have previously said no to her before he's said yes. And Dad says "You have so many. You can't even see where she's taken them from. Sue (dad's wife) is friends with her. Just let it go." He does not understand how this infuriates me.
This year Peggy down the road asked me about snowball bush flowers early this spring. Fucking bitch. And I said yes because there was nothing else I could say.
Sure, Peggy down the road, you fucking bitch with whom I am definitely NOT FRIENDS, you can have some blooms from my snowball bush this year.
However, this year, unlike every single other year, there are no blossoms within human reach on the snowball bush. It has been spite-pruned of every single even-remotely-reachable bud prior to blooming so that absolutely no flowers at all exist within reach of Peggy down the road even if she (old, round, short lady) gets a ladder.
I am kind of wondering if she'll be dumb enough to mention it to me. "Wow, which_chick, there were only flowers at the unreachable tippy top of your snowball bush this year and it was covered with buds earlier, what's that about?"
I don't think she's that dumb, but if she is, I will answer her.
"I cut them off specifically so that you couldn't have any."
Snowball bush is going to look spectacular this year. :)