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Jan. 13th, 2005 06:18 pmOn the opening and holding of doors. FauxNews keeps sinking to new lows. Today's was this "news" item. It's about the opening and holding of doors, by men, for women. Apparently, Mr. Cavuto opened and held a door for some ball-breaking feminist bitch and she went off on him for it. That's what he says, anyway.
Now, I'm pretty solidly into doing things for myself. I have been like this was since I was able to do things for myself. It makes me incredibly twitchy to have a door opened or held for me -- like I'm expected to do something in return to pay for the service. Despite how I feel about it, I allow men to open and/or hold doors for me if they want to. If they do, I smile and thank them -- always, even if it's just a "thanks".
I have NEVER, in my entire life, ranted at a dick-equipped person for holding a door for me out of some dumb-ass chivalric impulse. NEVER. Going all feminazi on a random guy would be very, very rude. When I am tempted to go off on a random, door-holding guy, I remind myself that the random guy is operating politely, using the rules he knows. It costs me very little to be polite to these random guys and it's a valuable exercise in self-control, to boot.
For men who are not strangers (employee, friend, spouse of a friend, spouse of a relative, person-I'm-fucking, etc.), if they look like they're going to be chronic offenders, I explain how I'm much more comfortable with opening my own doors. I go over how having doors opened or held for me generally makes me feel like I have to *do* something to pay for the service, and by the time I get to that point, the guy is usually willing to agree to anything so that he doesn't have to listen to any more talk about feelings.
For people who've known me a long time, the door system is that the first person there opens the door and holds it for the group UNLESS the group is mostly encumbered. In that circumstance, a person unencumbered trots ahead to open/hold the door for the encumbered people in the group. Also, doors are opened and held for the elderly and frail at all times, out of respect and politeness, until the specific individual tells me not to do so. Persons deemed by me to be elderly and/or frail who may be offended by having a door opened or held are free to rant at me if they want to. I will not yell back at them.
Now, I'm pretty solidly into doing things for myself. I have been like this was since I was able to do things for myself. It makes me incredibly twitchy to have a door opened or held for me -- like I'm expected to do something in return to pay for the service. Despite how I feel about it, I allow men to open and/or hold doors for me if they want to. If they do, I smile and thank them -- always, even if it's just a "thanks".
I have NEVER, in my entire life, ranted at a dick-equipped person for holding a door for me out of some dumb-ass chivalric impulse. NEVER. Going all feminazi on a random guy would be very, very rude. When I am tempted to go off on a random, door-holding guy, I remind myself that the random guy is operating politely, using the rules he knows. It costs me very little to be polite to these random guys and it's a valuable exercise in self-control, to boot.
For men who are not strangers (employee, friend, spouse of a friend, spouse of a relative, person-I'm-fucking, etc.), if they look like they're going to be chronic offenders, I explain how I'm much more comfortable with opening my own doors. I go over how having doors opened or held for me generally makes me feel like I have to *do* something to pay for the service, and by the time I get to that point, the guy is usually willing to agree to anything so that he doesn't have to listen to any more talk about feelings.
For people who've known me a long time, the door system is that the first person there opens the door and holds it for the group UNLESS the group is mostly encumbered. In that circumstance, a person unencumbered trots ahead to open/hold the door for the encumbered people in the group. Also, doors are opened and held for the elderly and frail at all times, out of respect and politeness, until the specific individual tells me not to do so. Persons deemed by me to be elderly and/or frail who may be offended by having a door opened or held are free to rant at me if they want to. I will not yell back at them.
