(no subject)

There's a Starbucks in Breezewood now. The borg mermaid has arrived, with drive-through. I'm not sure if it has wireless or not because I haven't been in it yet. I am not a Starbucks customer and it's not just because the one in Breezewood is on the wrong side of the road.

Confession time, then. I don't have any idea how to work a Starbucks for anything but basic regular coffee. The problem is not that I don't drink coffee. I do drink coffee. At home, my coffee comes pre-ground, in a red can that says Folgers. Out in the real world, if I need coffee, it comes from Sheetz (a regional convenience chain kind of like 7-11), where there are coffee pots sitting there and you pour what you want, doctor it with the available options, and pay a buck-twenty-seven for the huge size at the counter. It's just coffee.

Starbucks confuses me. I do not feel smart enough to operate Starbucks. I need like a Dummies guide. What are the options? How the fuck am I supposed to know if I would LIKE a shot of hazelnut or vanilla or whatever? Do I get a do-over if I build a coffee and it tastes like ass to me? How am I supposed to learn how to build a coffee beverage I would like to have? What's the difference between a latte and a cappucino? Can someone explain the espresso thing?

In the face of that much uncertainty (uncertainty I would be facing while in need of coffee), I shut down. I just want a coffee. I do not want the coffee to be the exciting part of coffee-and-a-danish. I want the danish to be the exciting part. Coffee isn't a dessert, it's a beverage with benefits.

It's just that the other coffees look interesting. Other people seem to like them. A couple of years ago, I got basic-coffee instructions from Donna's husband Matt, who took pity on me and explained how to order normal coffee at Starbucks. I didn't have the heart to press him for further education on ordering interesting coffee or coffee with options. Other people seem quite able to figure out Starbucks without help. Am I the only person on the planet too stupid to be able to work Starbucks?

(no subject)

I found a link over at Critical Mass about Shocking Sex Acts in Schools -- requires registration. I use bugmenot except for the WaPo and NYT, for whom I have actually sent in valid data because I read them often enough.

I don't have a good answer for what to do about the apparent sexualization of younger and younger people. I agree that five year olds should not be 69-ing in the kindergarten bathroom. I'm pretty solid on that.

I'm also solid on the fact that I want my Maypo porn. The fact that someone else's child could possibly be exposed to my porn is not a sufficient reason to keep me from having porn any more than the argument that someone else's child could possibly be accidentally run over by my car is a sufficient reason to keep me from owning cars. It is the responsiblity of the parents to monitor a child's media intake and to keep it within the bounds they deem suitable for the child's age/experience. This is fairly easy when the child is three. It's more difficult when the child is ten. It's nearly impossible by the time the child is fifteen, but by then I'd expect the child to have some judgment.

I'm not sure what to do on this front. It's something to think about, anyway.

For some reason I keep thinking of those Bratz (website annoying and slow to load, probably interactive bullshit, I gave up before it finished loading) dolls, here. They look kinda tarted up, if you ask me. They have blow-up-doll lips. Seriously. That's what they remind me of. Am I missing something, here? It says ages 6 and up... Barbie never pissed me off this much. Barbie is more wholesome-looking and far less sexual even though she has much bigger tits. Probably I'm getting old.

Here's the funniest piece I've read on menstruation for quite some time, an essay notable not only for the original humor, which is quite good, but also for the reaction to internet fame (added at the bottom of the post). It's kind of a two-fer in the world of enlightening things. Go read. I pulled this link from amanuensis1, whose smut I've been reading of late... for those following along, in her recs, Amanuensis had the link to the doily-related fiction mentioned previously. Featuring Percy, as it happened. The internet is a marvelous thing, for without that tenuous thread, I would never have had the chance to plow through (go there, do go there) her own delightful smut. Important note for newer readers: Pretty much anything I link to on the fiction front is smutty, slash/yaoi fanfic that's well-written on at least one count and kinky and smutty. I did mention the smut content, right? I'm not talking diseases of grapes, here. You've been warned.

According to this survey, better than sixty percent of Merkins are not able to name even one supreme court justice. So. Here are our current supreme court justices (we get a total of nine).

Sandra Day O'Connor
Clarence Thomas
William Rehnquist
Antonin Scalia
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
David Souter
Anthony Kennedy
Stephen Breyer
John Paul Stevens

Never let it be said that I don't perform a public service. In the unlikely event that any of my readers were in the 'unable to name even one' pile, now all ya'll are not. You have been raised up. You have been exaulted. Lift ev'ry voice and sing. (I gotta get that on .mp3...) Or something.

(no subject)

Look at this picture.

Wanna know my first reaction? My very first reaction?


Really?


Are you sure about that?


Right, then...

( My very first reaction was... )

Observant readers will note the gradual improvement of my LJ-skillz. The LJ-cut is a new feature for me. Yay! (I am such a dork.)