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I got the chest of drawers that was left in heroin-dealing tenant's apartment. It's in my house now and I've given it a good once-over to be bloody sure it's a project within the realm of the feasible and worthwhile.



The dresser, which is entirely (including drawer bottoms and the dresser back and everything) real wood, needs the following repairs:

Two drawer fronts need to be reglued to keep the dovetails (pristine!) in place.

Every single large drawer needs to have the bottom central guide bar (wooden) replaced inside the dresser. I have two (they were loose, in the drawers) and will need to make two from scratch.

One large drawer needs the bottom-of-drawer guide thingie glued back on, but I have it so that won't be undoable. The other three large drawers have theirs, as do the two small drawers.

All four large drawers need at least one side-rail inside the dresser. Two drawers need two side-rails. I have a model side rail, so no huhu there. (The side rails keep the drawers level instead of falling down in back when the drawers are slid all the way in.)

The bottom of the dresser has a decorative cut panel thingie that the tenants have pulled half-off. It is nailed on, from the inside, using teeny finish nails. It needs to be unattached and then reattached again, more solidly. I can do this.

The finish is beat to hell and can be scraped off with a fingernail. Oddly, the actual fucking WOOD is not dented or damaged. The actual fucking wood is in surprisingly good shape. There is a teeny scratch in the top, about an inch long, that I'm probably going to have to putty, but other than that, the wood (sides, drawer fronts, drawer pulls, top of dresser) is absolutely unmarred. The cigarette burns on the top of the dresser (They're on the edge, where you'd rest a butt while getting dressed. I smoked for almost twenty years. I know these things.) didn't go beyond the finish. What luck!

I realize that this is unreal, but no lie, dude. For real. This is going to be very cute when I get it done. It's a hell of a find and it cost me zero dollars. Huzzah! I think I'll also wax the rails so that the drawers have better gliding action. Yeah. I can so do this.

The wood pieces I need are not terribly complicated and, since I have models for all of the pieces I need, I can cut others with my l33t circular saw. I have suitable scrap wood in the book room. This is not a big deal. The replacement wood pieces will probably get attached using short, skinny screws, which will not be at all visible from the outside. (The old ones were glued on, which is why they've come right the fuck off after many years of hard use by white trash junkies. I can't be having with parts coming off. Screws are better. I have a power screwdriver. Screws are not terribly difficult and the dresser wood is thick enough to not split upon screwing stuff into it.)

If there is a sufficient amount of interest in seeing before pictures of the dresser, I'll see what I can do. It's going to be hard to photograph without letting ya'll see the rest of my clutter house and I'm not sure you can fully appreciate the decrapitude of the existing finish. Let me know.

Date: 2005-10-13 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brni.livejournal.com

*smile* there's nothing like real wood, even in cheap, POS furniture, but even better with good furniture.

i've used tung oil in the past - i like the look and feel of the actual wood, rather than some thick transparent plasticy coating that prevents you from really appreciating the grain...

(this is why i covet my kid's bass. well, one of the reasons. it also is really sweet to play.)

Date: 2005-10-13 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] which-chick.livejournal.com
I am aware of the delights of good furniture, though I have a lifestyle and care-level more conducive to POS furniture. This particular piece, despite its issues and its relative simplicity, was a lot nicer than anything else the tenant had in her apartment... the rest was particleboard shit.

Last winter, when I refinished my solid-cherry dining room tabletop (because the existing, factory-fresh finish from around 1967 had cracked and peeled so that bare, unfinished wood showed through), I used water-based polyurethane, which is one of those thick transparent plasticy coatings. I picked polyurethane because it was tough enough to persist under the abuse I lavish on my dining room table. I am not the sort of person who is going to maintain a finish. I am the sort of person who is going to make there be a finish once every twenty years or so.

If the next owner of my dining room table is offended by the clear poly finish I used, it'll strip right the hell off with Zar Varnish and Paint Remover. (Wear gloves. Work in well-ventilated area. This stuff, while not cheap, does a top-notch job of dissolving paint and varnish but it will take the skin off your hands and makes lots of fumes. Gloves. Well-ventilated area. Not kidding.) That'll leave bare wood suitable for whatever finish the next owner wants to use.

Date: 2005-10-13 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brni.livejournal.com

heh. last time i used Zar it was outdoors. and the fumes still got me high.

screws loose

Date: 2005-10-13 02:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ardvaark99999.livejournal.com
Screws are not terribly difficult and the dresser wood is thick enough to not split upon screwing stuff into it.

While I am somewhat disappointed that tonight's post is not porn-related, I think I can live with it. Woodworking is a good substitute, all things...uh...considered.

I would like to note that you should never underestimate the ability of old, dry wood to break during power-screwing. In addition, I think that waxing the wood a little will improve the gliding action as well, and I think that it is a good idea.

See? I hardly even miss the porn.

I think that you should invest in (if you don't already have) a basic set of drill bits for your power screwdriver so that you can drill out a small hole where you intend to use the wood screws. You should be able to pick up an assortment of smallish el-cheapo drill bits for just this sort of purpose at Zimmerman's.

Drilling out the hole a little in advance of the power-screwing will not only make it less likely that wood will break, but it will facilitate the screwing itself, lessening the probability that there will be damage to the wood and increasing the likelihood that the screws will go where you want them to.

A little wood glue might not be a bad idea to hold things together if you don't have some handy. Just don't get it on your hands or on the power drill.

See? I hardly even miss the porn.

Re: screws loose

Date: 2005-10-13 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] which-chick.livejournal.com
Pilot holes are an excellent idea -- I used them when fixing grandma's decorative cradle thing last winter and I don't know why I didn't think of that this time around.

I have a set of drill bits, except for the smallest, which someone working on SJ's house shore off (Nick, we think) and put back in the box without telling me it was broken. This is why I am no longer willing to loan my tools out unless I can go along to supervise them.

I've got to pick up wood glue (and Zar and gloves and a plastic scraping thingie and some steel wool and some really fine grit sandpaper and some tiny screws and so forth) at the store tomorrow. I also need to decide what sort of finishing I'm going to do on this.

Re: screws loose

Date: 2005-10-13 08:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] electroweak.livejournal.com
I'll add a trick I learned from my father, who's a professional at this. Buy a tube of Chapstick and dip the tip of each screw into it before using the screw. This will cause the screw to slide into the wood like it was on rails.

Old carpenters use regular wax. My father apparently invented the Chapstick trick.

Also: Pilot holes. Your key to woodworking enjoyment.

Date: 2005-10-14 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ornery-chick.livejournal.com
That sounds a lot like a dresser I dumpster-dove a few years ago, ecept that mine doesn't have a cool trim piece around the bottom. Mine just needs some knobs, which I never remember to buy when I am at the lumberyard.

Mine is a small, six-drawer bureau that I use to organize and store my rather massive stash of sewing patterns.

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