When I was in grade school...

[which_chick]

When I was in grade school, my brothers wrestled. I spent time at a ton of dual and quad meets on the weekends in the winter because if my two brothers and parents were going to be at the damn meet all day, I had to go too. It was before smartphones. There was nothing much to do but watch the fucking matches at the aforesaid meets when I was a kid. So, I did that. I also did a fair amount of wrestling on the living room floor with the brothers because they wanted someone to practice with. But there was no opportunity for me to wrestle in school because that was not a girl sport.



Wrestling for girls wasn't even available via a local-loophole like they let Mary Hinish play little league (she pitched) in 1980. Locally, nobody bitched and we were a tiny town that was never gonna be in the little league world series or anything. It was ok if she played because locally nobody cared. She did play softball in high school because they wouldn't let her play baseball, which she would have preferred. The explanation at the time was that "softball and baseball were separate but equal" and so there was no need for her to play baseball because she could play softball and that was the "same thing".

But wrestling was not done by girls when I was in grade school and it was not done by girls when I was in high school. There might be touching happening in wrestling or something and it wouldn't be appropriate.

You don't want to be groped, do you? Have you seen where they grab for some of those holds? What if a boy got fresh?

I know that's what people would say when I asked about it because I did ask about it and that's EXACTLY what the fuck they said. And I was made to feel ashamed and stupid for asking. Jesus Fuck, which_chick, how damn dumb are you? Girls don't wrestle, that's not a sport for girls, why would you even want to do something like that, what the hell is wrong with you? Yeah. It wasn't a particularly gentle negatory, is where I'm going with this.

I am seeing a lot of the wrestling girl (Amit Elor) on youtube shorts and stuff, and good for her. Good for her. I'm glad she got to wrestle and win gold medals and stuff. I'm glad that's an option for girls these days, at least in some places.

So I googled. How much of an option is it? The high school I went to does not yet have a girl's wrestling team, but the high school up the road does. And though there's not a girl's team at the high school I attended, at least my high school lets the girls wrestle on the boys team these days. Not ideal, but more than I had a shot at. Better than nothing.

I kinda wish it had been an option back when I'd been in school. Damn it all, I wasn't even allowed to try because I didn't have a penis. That still puts sand in my gears because they acted like it was some kind of reason and it was no reason at all.

Comments

[mistressofmuses]

I was never interested in sports, but I also hated that the options were so uneven. My high school had softball for the girls, and baseball for the boys. They had "powderpuff" football for the girls. There was a minor stink when a girl played on the boy's football team at a different school in our district a while back. (JV, I think.) And I remember at least some of the complaints being that she was "taking away an opportunity from a boy" because boys could get scholarships, so "needed" to be on the team, where there was no reason for her to play, because it wasn't like it could go anywhere.

[which_chick]

I kinda hate that whole idea, that sports have to be "for" advancement. Sometimes sports are just good for people. Like, go out. Be a part of a team. Use your body, generate some sweat, try to improve, do your best to be coachable and take direction. Those things are reasonable goals even if you never win at states or become a national champion or even make the varsity squad. Like, sport is just good for people EVEN IF it never "goes anywhere".

Also, the "needed a scholarship" argument is why Coach Droz made my tiny, skinny older brother (who I stand taller than and outweigh, as I have almost my whole life) cut weight from 132 to 126 because "Your dad is rich and he will pay for you to go to college. Karns's dad doesn't have the money and he needs a scholarship for college. If you want to be on the team, we need a guy at 126. How 'bout it, sport?" My older brother could regularly beat the 132 guy in practice, like mop the floor with him. But if the 132 guy had to cut weight, he wouldn't be "good enough" to get a scholarship.

Brother-the-elder is still pissed about this both because Coach Droz made it about "college scholarships" instead of about "who was the better wrestler at 132 lbs" and also because my conflict-avoidant dad did fuck-all about it and wouldn't talk to the coach regarding the issue.

Brother the elder did not have any weight at 132 to lose, but he wrestled at 126. And it wasn't fair. And it wasn't right. *sigh*

[mistressofmuses]

It's sucky that basically *everything* gets treated like it must be for advancement, or else it's pointless. Want to play a team sport? You better be looking at going pro! Want to write as a hobby? Well, when are you going to publish? Enjoy an occasional crochet project for yourself or a family member? Start cranking them out for an etsy side hustle!

But yeah, being a member of a sports team has so many potential benefits, physically but also yes, socially, and in terms of learning how to improve/work with others/take direction/etc. All valuable skills!

That's really shitty that that happened to your brother. Having him have to make unhealthy weight cuts to wrestle at a weight that wasn't his best... That isn't fair at all. And doing it to try and artificially make a different kid look better is deeply shitty.

[which_chick]

While I do not cheer for the ending of anyone's life, sometimes I do read an obituary with quiet satisfaction and recently I got to do that... Coach Droz died February 13, 2025.