No, wait, please don't...
Mar. 20th, 2019 07:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickSeen on FB this morning, a young man I know posted the following (this is cut-n-paste so it's verbatim): This right here is my beautiful girlfriend soon to be finance I love her with all my heart and no matter what no one will tare us apart.... [Girl's name] I love you so much
Ah, young love.
He's a sweet boy. Dumb as a sack full of hammers, but sweet. Good-hearted, works hard, keeps on the straight and narrow, but really not that bright. He's out of high school, maybe nineteen years old. He just moved out of his mom's and in with the girlfriend and (I suppose) her people. I really hope it goes OK for them.
I really hoped my baby horse would live, too.
The odds are not ever in their favor. The odds are very strongly stacked against this young man and his girlfriend. I don't know where she comes from, but he comes from a two-parent household, nobody has substance abuse issues or other abuse issues. He was involved in activities (scouts, 4-H, school sports, etc.) from the get-go and he has a vast and sprawling extended family (most of whom are reasonable people) with whom he maintains contact. But...
His moms, who is a bit dim at times, decided that the way to keep this kid from leaving the nest and moving in with his girlfriend and her people, was to strip the kid's bank account of the $6K that he'd saved up from various and sundry jobs in high school. Like, she took his money. Now, if I know the people involved (and I do, have known his mother for at least the last thirty-seven years, have known him as he's grown from small boy into quite well-proportioned but dim eighteen year old), this was a joint account with his name and his mom's name on it. She had (as I explained to him on facebook) every legal right to take the money. It wasn't RIGHT but it was legal.
He wants to get a lawyer and fight this in court. I know this because he facebooked me. He's the italics.
Hey what's your brothers name I need a lawyer
And his number
Why do you need a lawyer?
They're super-expensive.
Like $400-an-hour expensive.
Because Mom stole 6,207 and some odd cecnt from me and I want it back
Well, it depends on how she took it, [Name]. Was it in a bank account with BOTH of your names on it?
Yes and she stole it because she never told me she put it in her account
If the money was in an account with YOUR name and HER name both on it, she can take all the money out even if you are the only one who put money in.
Those are the rules.
If you gave her the money and said "Put it in my account, Mom" and she DID NOT do that but instead put it in HER account that does not have your name on it, you might have a case.
Well I talked to the state police and they said file a sivel suit and find a lawyer and I am suing my mom
You are not going to get any money. The state police handle ACTUAL crimes. The reason they are not handling it is because it is not an actual crime.
The money came from work and I worked hard for it and it took me a year to get that much
You will have to be able to PROVE that it is your money (do you have pay stubs? Receipts? Bank statements?) Is all the money from your wages after you turned 18? (Your parent may have the rights to your stuff before you turned 18.)
I got proof that the money is mine
You cannot just say it is your money. You have to have paper proof. Pay stubs. W2 forms from your taxes. Bank statements in your name.
and if you hire a lawyer, you are going to have to pay $400 an hour (and it will take a lot of hours) to sue her.
I got bank statements. From the bank and Mom is holding them right now
Six grand is about 15 hours of lawyer.
You will probably use it all up on your court case.
and if your mom has the bank statements, how are you going to get them?
Break an entery
That's how mad I am
But seriously, if the account was in YOUR NAME and also your mother's name, you cannot stop her from taking the money out of the account. When my grandpa died and grandma wanted my dad on her bank accounts in case of emergency, the bank spent about an hour trying to talk her out of it b/c dad could take all her money if he wanted and she would not be able to do a thing.
And I bet twenty bucks that your account was in both your name and your mom's name. I bet you never went in and opened your own account in JUST ONLY YOUR NAME, EVER.
So you got no leg to stand on, here.
Breaking and entering, however, is a REAL crime where you can REALLY GO TO JAIL and it will cost you thousands.
If you really, truly want to get back at your mom, have a grandkid and don't ever let her see it.
Until she pays you back.
This is why nobody should ever ask me for advice. This, right here. This is the BURN ALL THE BRIDGES AND DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS FOREVER sort of advice that I give. Don't ask me for advice. Just... don't.
That might work
Because that's 100% legal and it would totally piss her off. Don't, y'know, RUSH into having a kid, but when you eventually want a kid, just don't let her see it or hold it or anything until she pays you back.
Also, let that be a surprise until the baby is born. She can baby shower and buy gifts and stuff, but when the baby hits the ground, you be all "Uhm, nope. Lol."
It would work better as a surprise.
Oh ok
And if she doesn't
Then you don't have to spend any time with a woman who stole from you. But, you shouldn't let this affect your relationship with the rest of the family. Nobody else did anything wrong.
For now, you ought to just pretend you're letting it go.
Well I am going to call her and scare her by saying if I don't get the money by 48 hours I am suing
I don't think that is useful. I don't think she has the money. I think she spent it on the downpayment for the house.
Well I know she has the money and she better cough it up or eles
You do what you want, but you DO NOT have any legal standing that is going to work in court. There is a difference between "legal" and "right". If she took your money out of an account with BOTH OF YOUR NAMES ON IT, A JOINT ACCOUNT, that is certainly not right but it IS legal.
And you will throw your money away playing lawyer.
But you are an adult and you do what you want.
Ah, young love.
He's a sweet boy. Dumb as a sack full of hammers, but sweet. Good-hearted, works hard, keeps on the straight and narrow, but really not that bright. He's out of high school, maybe nineteen years old. He just moved out of his mom's and in with the girlfriend and (I suppose) her people. I really hope it goes OK for them.
I really hoped my baby horse would live, too.
The odds are not ever in their favor. The odds are very strongly stacked against this young man and his girlfriend. I don't know where she comes from, but he comes from a two-parent household, nobody has substance abuse issues or other abuse issues. He was involved in activities (scouts, 4-H, school sports, etc.) from the get-go and he has a vast and sprawling extended family (most of whom are reasonable people) with whom he maintains contact. But...
His moms, who is a bit dim at times, decided that the way to keep this kid from leaving the nest and moving in with his girlfriend and her people, was to strip the kid's bank account of the $6K that he'd saved up from various and sundry jobs in high school. Like, she took his money. Now, if I know the people involved (and I do, have known his mother for at least the last thirty-seven years, have known him as he's grown from small boy into quite well-proportioned but dim eighteen year old), this was a joint account with his name and his mom's name on it. She had (as I explained to him on facebook) every legal right to take the money. It wasn't RIGHT but it was legal.
He wants to get a lawyer and fight this in court. I know this because he facebooked me. He's the italics.
Hey what's your brothers name I need a lawyer
And his number
Why do you need a lawyer?
They're super-expensive.
Like $400-an-hour expensive.
Because Mom stole 6,207 and some odd cecnt from me and I want it back
Well, it depends on how she took it, [Name]. Was it in a bank account with BOTH of your names on it?
Yes and she stole it because she never told me she put it in her account
If the money was in an account with YOUR name and HER name both on it, she can take all the money out even if you are the only one who put money in.
Those are the rules.
If you gave her the money and said "Put it in my account, Mom" and she DID NOT do that but instead put it in HER account that does not have your name on it, you might have a case.
Well I talked to the state police and they said file a sivel suit and find a lawyer and I am suing my mom
You are not going to get any money. The state police handle ACTUAL crimes. The reason they are not handling it is because it is not an actual crime.
The money came from work and I worked hard for it and it took me a year to get that much
You will have to be able to PROVE that it is your money (do you have pay stubs? Receipts? Bank statements?) Is all the money from your wages after you turned 18? (Your parent may have the rights to your stuff before you turned 18.)
I got proof that the money is mine
You cannot just say it is your money. You have to have paper proof. Pay stubs. W2 forms from your taxes. Bank statements in your name.
and if you hire a lawyer, you are going to have to pay $400 an hour (and it will take a lot of hours) to sue her.
I got bank statements. From the bank and Mom is holding them right now
Six grand is about 15 hours of lawyer.
You will probably use it all up on your court case.
and if your mom has the bank statements, how are you going to get them?
Break an entery
That's how mad I am
But seriously, if the account was in YOUR NAME and also your mother's name, you cannot stop her from taking the money out of the account. When my grandpa died and grandma wanted my dad on her bank accounts in case of emergency, the bank spent about an hour trying to talk her out of it b/c dad could take all her money if he wanted and she would not be able to do a thing.
And I bet twenty bucks that your account was in both your name and your mom's name. I bet you never went in and opened your own account in JUST ONLY YOUR NAME, EVER.
So you got no leg to stand on, here.
Breaking and entering, however, is a REAL crime where you can REALLY GO TO JAIL and it will cost you thousands.
If you really, truly want to get back at your mom, have a grandkid and don't ever let her see it.
Until she pays you back.
This is why nobody should ever ask me for advice. This, right here. This is the BURN ALL THE BRIDGES AND DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS FOREVER sort of advice that I give. Don't ask me for advice. Just... don't.
That might work
Because that's 100% legal and it would totally piss her off. Don't, y'know, RUSH into having a kid, but when you eventually want a kid, just don't let her see it or hold it or anything until she pays you back.
Also, let that be a surprise until the baby is born. She can baby shower and buy gifts and stuff, but when the baby hits the ground, you be all "Uhm, nope. Lol."
It would work better as a surprise.
Oh ok
And if she doesn't
Then you don't have to spend any time with a woman who stole from you. But, you shouldn't let this affect your relationship with the rest of the family. Nobody else did anything wrong.
For now, you ought to just pretend you're letting it go.
Well I am going to call her and scare her by saying if I don't get the money by 48 hours I am suing
I don't think that is useful. I don't think she has the money. I think she spent it on the downpayment for the house.
Well I know she has the money and she better cough it up or eles
You do what you want, but you DO NOT have any legal standing that is going to work in court. There is a difference between "legal" and "right". If she took your money out of an account with BOTH OF YOUR NAMES ON IT, A JOINT ACCOUNT, that is certainly not right but it IS legal.
And you will throw your money away playing lawyer.
But you are an adult and you do what you want.
