![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickRight now Marie Kondo is all over with the decluttering and sparking of joy and so forth. Probably I could use some of that in my life, or at least the wherewithal to get rid of (for example) the DVDs I no longer have the ability to play. Like I don't own a DVD player or a computer with a DVD drive and I don't actually expect to ever again. This is similarly true for CD's. They are not things I need or use anymore. They are ex-things for me. Unfortunately, I am not particularly Elsa over here. Letting it go... no.
It's not just useless stuff. I also keep things that do the opposite of spark joy. One of these things is Old Dressage Tests.
Unlike many horse activities, with dressage you get a score sheet telling you how the judge thinks you did on each of the objectives. It's basically a report card. A "quite good" score is something in the 70's and if you are consistently getting over a 60% at the current test/level you're showing, you should consider moving up a level.
Dressage tests are progressive. They start at "Intro A" (walk and trot, two circles, and a diagonal free walk) and move slowly and gradually up in complexity. "Intro B" for example, has a halt along with the stuff from Intro A. Intro C contains all the stuff of Intro B along with a halt-trot transition and canter circles.
I have, in the past, completed some (not many) dressage tests on Bird. They give you the scoresheets to take home with you and so I took them home with me, where they have continued to not-spark-joy for the last four fucking years. I don't LOOK at them very often but I know they are there, sitting on top of the CDs I have no means of playing.
The first dressage test I ever rode with Bird, he was a four year old horse who had been under saddle for approximately six months. Not "with a real trainer" but "ridden by his indifferently-skilled adult ammie owner" who was also incidentally his only trainer. It was in August of 2015 and it was fucking hideous.
Sample comments (the judge offers you numeric scores AND ALSO handwritten comments in case the numeric scores are not humiliating enough) include:
"Wiggly on center line"
"Countrbent"
"Rough transition"
"Push into corners"
"Maintain bend"
"Tossing head"
"Crooked"
"Backed in halt" (Halts are supposed to be immobile)
Collective Marks (This is sort of your "overall picture" and numbers are on a scale of 1 to 10)
Gaits (freedom and regularity): 6
Impulsion (desire to move forward with suppleness of back and steady tempo): 5 Here, suppleness of back is underlined.
Submission (acceptance of steady contact, attention & confidence): 5 (this one counts 2x)
Rider's position (in balance with horse): 7
Effectiveness of aids: 6
Geometry & accuracy: 6
So that sucked hugely and was an embarrassement and a trainwreck. Overall score for that was a 56.25. Ugh.
For some reason I signed up to do ANOTHER dressage test in the summer of 2016. At this point, horse was 5 and had been under saddle for a year and change but still, alas, being ridden only by his fuckwitted owner and nobody else. A year later, how did we do on the exact same test as we did in 2015?
A sampling of comments.
"Wiggly entry"
"Bend in direction of circle"
"Counterbent"
Collective remarks:
Gaits (freedom & regularity): 7
Impulsion: 6.5
Submission: 5.5
Rider position: 7
Effectiveness of aids: 6
Geometry: 6.5
This is marginally better than the prior year. It isn't great but it's marginally better. This one was a 64 overall. Still not performing to any sort of standard. Still fucking sucking balls. Completely useless. In a class of like eight, we did not place AT ALL. Everyone else there doing the fucking walk-trot test Intro B did better than we did. Also, I am reasonably certain that a 7 in rider effectiveness is the base score for "did not fall off".
So after that, there were no more dressage tests for a while. I do not like paying money to finish behind the eight year old on the chunky shetland pony in the fucking walk-trot test that is Intro fucking B. If at first you don't succeed, quit and go home. :)
And yet, this year I get the following from my instructor. "You have improved so much. He's so much better." "You guys are miles better than last year." "No, seriously, he's consistent in contact and rhythmic and steady." "He will score well in submission."
These are lies.
But apparently they are appealing enough lies that we will go out to the dressage venue (a local unrated show) this summer and attempt the Intro Fucking B test yet again in front of people. Perhaps we will be able to do better than at least one other human being this time. It's been three years since I have tried it. Maybe we are better now. We have been practicing hard. Maybe we are better. It would suck A WHOLE LOT OF SUCKAGE if we have been doing this shit and regular lessons and practicing at home and we were still yet NO FUCKING BETTER THAN LAST TIME. I do not think I could stomach losing to the eight year old on the shetland again. (Eight year old, if still riding, is now 11, in Pony Club, and doing Training 2 with a decent Welsh-TB cross, I am sure.)
So in preparation for this bullshit, I will gather up my cones and my buckets and my measuring tape and make a dressage area in the more-or-less level part of the hayfield where we ride. With letters. And then we will ride the motherfucking tests Intro A, B, and C. Repeatedly. Even though I fucking hate them.
It feels like I have been stuck forever in shitty stupid super-beginner dressage and I FUCKING HATE IT and I hate that I am still here after four damn years of riding my dumb-ass horse. I do not feel that I am, in all regards, a super beginner rider. However, this is not about OUR FEELINGS, this is about NUMERIC FUCKING ASSESSMENT. The dressage judge does not care how you FEEL about your riding, she cares that you can make a mostly-round circle with decent rhythm and a horse that is not counterbent to hell and back.
But, and this is fair, given that I have not done any damn stupid ass dressage tests in the interim, it is marginally possible that I have improved since 2016. Marginally possible.
We shall see.
It's not just useless stuff. I also keep things that do the opposite of spark joy. One of these things is Old Dressage Tests.
Unlike many horse activities, with dressage you get a score sheet telling you how the judge thinks you did on each of the objectives. It's basically a report card. A "quite good" score is something in the 70's and if you are consistently getting over a 60% at the current test/level you're showing, you should consider moving up a level.
Dressage tests are progressive. They start at "Intro A" (walk and trot, two circles, and a diagonal free walk) and move slowly and gradually up in complexity. "Intro B" for example, has a halt along with the stuff from Intro A. Intro C contains all the stuff of Intro B along with a halt-trot transition and canter circles.
I have, in the past, completed some (not many) dressage tests on Bird. They give you the scoresheets to take home with you and so I took them home with me, where they have continued to not-spark-joy for the last four fucking years. I don't LOOK at them very often but I know they are there, sitting on top of the CDs I have no means of playing.
The first dressage test I ever rode with Bird, he was a four year old horse who had been under saddle for approximately six months. Not "with a real trainer" but "ridden by his indifferently-skilled adult ammie owner" who was also incidentally his only trainer. It was in August of 2015 and it was fucking hideous.
Sample comments (the judge offers you numeric scores AND ALSO handwritten comments in case the numeric scores are not humiliating enough) include:
"Wiggly on center line"
"Countrbent"
"Rough transition"
"Push into corners"
"Maintain bend"
"Tossing head"
"Crooked"
"Backed in halt" (Halts are supposed to be immobile)
Collective Marks (This is sort of your "overall picture" and numbers are on a scale of 1 to 10)
Gaits (freedom and regularity): 6
Impulsion (desire to move forward with suppleness of back and steady tempo): 5 Here, suppleness of back is underlined.
Submission (acceptance of steady contact, attention & confidence): 5 (this one counts 2x)
Rider's position (in balance with horse): 7
Effectiveness of aids: 6
Geometry & accuracy: 6
So that sucked hugely and was an embarrassement and a trainwreck. Overall score for that was a 56.25. Ugh.
For some reason I signed up to do ANOTHER dressage test in the summer of 2016. At this point, horse was 5 and had been under saddle for a year and change but still, alas, being ridden only by his fuckwitted owner and nobody else. A year later, how did we do on the exact same test as we did in 2015?
A sampling of comments.
"Wiggly entry"
"Bend in direction of circle"
"Counterbent"
Collective remarks:
Gaits (freedom & regularity): 7
Impulsion: 6.5
Submission: 5.5
Rider position: 7
Effectiveness of aids: 6
Geometry: 6.5
This is marginally better than the prior year. It isn't great but it's marginally better. This one was a 64 overall. Still not performing to any sort of standard. Still fucking sucking balls. Completely useless. In a class of like eight, we did not place AT ALL. Everyone else there doing the fucking walk-trot test Intro B did better than we did. Also, I am reasonably certain that a 7 in rider effectiveness is the base score for "did not fall off".
So after that, there were no more dressage tests for a while. I do not like paying money to finish behind the eight year old on the chunky shetland pony in the fucking walk-trot test that is Intro fucking B. If at first you don't succeed, quit and go home. :)
And yet, this year I get the following from my instructor. "You have improved so much. He's so much better." "You guys are miles better than last year." "No, seriously, he's consistent in contact and rhythmic and steady." "He will score well in submission."
These are lies.
But apparently they are appealing enough lies that we will go out to the dressage venue (a local unrated show) this summer and attempt the Intro Fucking B test yet again in front of people. Perhaps we will be able to do better than at least one other human being this time. It's been three years since I have tried it. Maybe we are better now. We have been practicing hard. Maybe we are better. It would suck A WHOLE LOT OF SUCKAGE if we have been doing this shit and regular lessons and practicing at home and we were still yet NO FUCKING BETTER THAN LAST TIME. I do not think I could stomach losing to the eight year old on the shetland again. (Eight year old, if still riding, is now 11, in Pony Club, and doing Training 2 with a decent Welsh-TB cross, I am sure.)
So in preparation for this bullshit, I will gather up my cones and my buckets and my measuring tape and make a dressage area in the more-or-less level part of the hayfield where we ride. With letters. And then we will ride the motherfucking tests Intro A, B, and C. Repeatedly. Even though I fucking hate them.
It feels like I have been stuck forever in shitty stupid super-beginner dressage and I FUCKING HATE IT and I hate that I am still here after four damn years of riding my dumb-ass horse. I do not feel that I am, in all regards, a super beginner rider. However, this is not about OUR FEELINGS, this is about NUMERIC FUCKING ASSESSMENT. The dressage judge does not care how you FEEL about your riding, she cares that you can make a mostly-round circle with decent rhythm and a horse that is not counterbent to hell and back.
But, and this is fair, given that I have not done any damn stupid ass dressage tests in the interim, it is marginally possible that I have improved since 2016. Marginally possible.
We shall see.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-16 04:14 am (UTC)