which_chick | (no subject)

Today was a partial win. I put a stove in back of 321 for the lady from 343 who wants to live in Everett. It is not a super-duper new stove, it's a used one out of the garage at 629. It is also, as it happens, filthy.

I get to review a lot of cleaning products in my work. I don't apply this hard-won knowledge in my personal life (my house is a wreck) but I can't help reviewing products while I'm using them.

I hate cleaning ovens. I hate it. However, when I clean ovens, I use Easy-Off brand oven cleaner. See, generic oven cleaners are like breathing fiberglass *and* they fail to clean ovens. Easy-Off brand oven cleaner is like breathing fiberglass, will take the skin off your hands, and actually does clean ovens. As an FYI, lemon-scented Easy-Off is like breathing fiberglass with ersatz lemon scent but in all other respects is exactly like the regular Easy-Off oven cleaner experience. The ersatz lemon scent is not a marked improvement.

Tip for tenants: The tops of most normal electric-burner stoves will lift up. Seriously. Liftable stove tops even have little prop arms like the hood of your car so that they don't fall down on your hands while you're cleaning under there. If your landlord has supplied you with a stove, he or she (a) knows about this feature of stoves (b) has cleaned it before you got the stove and (c) is going to check it when he or she gets the stove back. If you don't clean the 'lift-up' part of the stovetop, you lose points.

Favorite product for cleaning fridges, inside and out: Windex, regular blue kind with ammonia. It does most not-horribly-filthy fridges and has a nice lint-free finish. If the fridge is filthy enough to require a warm-water (to melt the chocolate syrup or hardened ketchup) and putty-knife (to scrape up the softened gunk) triage, do that first and then switch to the Windex. I actually like cleaning fridges.

For tenants: Your landlord will remove the "produce" trays from the bottom of the fridge to see if you cleaned under them. Most tenants do not do that level of fridge cleaning and thus do not get the "fridge-cleaning" portion of the deposit back.

Favorite product for cleaning cooking grease splatters off of formica splashbacks (between countertop and cupboard, instead of "wall"): Easy-Off.

Tenants: If your kitchen splashback features the textured, gold-and-brown spatters of grease, you're going to get charged for excessive cleaning. Also, for fuck's sake, frying is not the only way to cook things. Braise, broil, steam, stir-fry, bake, sautee, stew, crock-pot... get some variety in your diet.

Favorite products for removing paste-on wallpaper borders: drywall paste spreader thing and spray bottle of warm water. Also a green Scotch-Brite scrubby (no sponge).

Tenants: Wallpaper borders are an abomination unto Nuggan. Don't put them up. If you *must*, then take them all the way down. Merely ripping off the "easy" parts is not going to win you any friends with the landlord.

Favorite product for cleaning tubs: Comet cleanser. I really do like Comet better than any other brand and I have used a raft of generic and off-brand Tenant-Left-Behind cleanser products. (Tenant-Left-Behind cleaning products are a major source of the shit I use to clean apartments with. You leave me dish soap, I'm going to clean with it. That's why I have "Pink Grapefruit" and "Green Tea" dish soap at the moment. You think I'd buy those flavors? Fuck no. Lemon-scent is as exciting as I get. I really like (and use in my own home) plain blue Dawn.) Anyway, of the cleanser family, Comet is my favorite. It also does a nice job on formica countertops.

Tenants: Soap "scum" is really made of your dead skin cells. It's gross. Please scrub it off the fucking tub or you're going to get charged for that. Also, if I can see any pubic hairs at all anywhere in your bathroom, you are going to be charged for cleaning the bathroom.

The stuff for the ceiling at 351 didn't come in until 3 PM so I didn't get anywhere with that. Tomorrow is another day.