A bit of storytime today.
Jun. 23rd, 2024 09:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickMy aunt and uncle have a summer cabin near me. This weekend, their two oldest kids were visiting the summer cabin without adults accompanying them and apparently when they were fetching the hose out to water things (it's been very dry) they disturbed some sort of flying, stinging insects.
So, along about 11 AM on Saturday, my aunt, who is not there, calls me to ask if I know any good exterminators because uncle (also not there) is very allergic to stinging insects (bees, yellowjackets, hornets, wasps) and while the boys aren't, she'd like to get the insects cleared up before her husband gets back out to the cabin.
I started to explain that stinging flying insects (yellowjackets, hornets, bees, wasps) are not generally an exterminator problem and are more of a go to the hardware and buy two cans of the RAID for wasps and hornets, the one with the black lid that sprays like 12 feet problem. Aunt said that the boys had both been stung and were pretty gun shy about getting stung again and also that uncle is VERY ALLERGIC.
*sigh*
I refrained from pointing out that if the boys weren't ALREADY dead in the yard of anaphalaxis, they would be just fine because they probably got her genes, which are "quarter sized welt that fades in six hours, itchy divot that persists for a week" genes when it comes to bees and wasps and hornets and so forth. Instead I was "Well, have them call when they get back from the hardware store and I'll pop over and do the spraying part if they can direct me to where the nest is, approximately."
Later that afternoon, I got a call from one of the boys saying that they'd gotten the spray and were back at the cabin. I drove over and took one of the (four) cans of RAID from the younger of the two boys. I asked him to show me where he was when he got stung and he stood... well back and gestured vaguely in the direction of the hose and crawl space access.
And so I stood there for approximately three minutes, about 8 feet away from the problem area. I was watching for flying stinging insects. They generally fly patrols and are out foraging and coming back and stuff, so if you just stand still at a non-threatening distance (for bald faced hornets and yellowjackets, this is a distance of some six to eight feet, without sudden movements or flailing.) you can see them returning and use them to help locate the nest/den/hive or whatever.
Cousin: Why aren't you spraying?
Me: I'm watching for stinging insects. Give me a minute. Once a few fly in, I can localize their living space for a targeted attack.
Cousin: You're going to get stung to hell and back. (I was, to be fair, not wearing a ton of clothing. It was 92F and sticky.)
Me: It'll be fine. They're only territorial to about six feet if they're not riled up. That's why the can sprays to 12 feet. Stand still and don't flail about and they won't even notice you.
After a few minutes of observing, I localized the issue to a bald faced hornet nest hidden in a shrubbery next to the hose faucet. It was the size of a small cantaloupe... so not a major issue just yet.
And I sprayed with the can of RAID, starting at the bottom of the nest (the entry/exit is at the bottom of the papery nest) and working my way slowly upward as the vigorous stream of the spray can shredded the nest. As I was not moving or flailing and I was sufficiently far away to not be deemed "a threat" (Bald faced hornets have not figured out the RAID spray cans yet), there were no stings on my (extensive) exposed skin. Eventually the nest was a soggy mass and there were no more live hornets visible.
I handed the (mostly empty) can to the cousin, told him to carefully recheck the area in the morning, and repeat spray like I did if he saw any more hornets. He said he would "try" but that he didn't want to get stung again.
Now. Would you like to guess the ages of the boys? Would you?
Please do. How old do you think these kids are?
Anyway. There is, at some point in the life of each human lucky enough to make it out of childhood, a time when they need to start doing the adulting. In the face of unpleasant situations, people need to step to the plate and Solve The Problem like an adult, even if they don't want to.
Shit, I frequently don't want to. I have to coach myself sometimes to get stuff done. Out loud, like just... saying stuff like "Come on, you can do this, it's not that bad, look, just start. It's not as bad as you're making it out to be. Look at you go, you're half done now, you got this! Great, now just power through to the end and you can have a coffee!" as a little verbal self-pep-talk. It's training wheels for adulting, I get that, and if I weren't such a toddler I wouldn't have to do it to accomplish things but... do I want the dishes done? I do. Do I want the car vacuumed out including the annoying crevices? I do. So... audible coaching and pep talk it is. Do what you gotta do to work it out. Srsly.
Adulting includes things like solving yellowjacket / bald faced hornet problems.
But which_chick, do you have to be such a bitch about it?
Yes. I do.
If (like my cousins) you are in your fucking forties, with grown-up jobs, married to a spouse and serving as the parent to two tiny tots (each. Each cousin has two children.), then you should not have to have your mommy call your cousin, whose phone number you 100% have, to ask her to save you from your stinging insect problem, you useless fucking goobers. This was TWO FORTY YEAR OLD ADULTS FAILING AT ADULTING. I weep for the future.
You COULD HAVE just called me directly (like an adult) and gotten some advice about the issue and then gone and done it. I'd even have come up and sprayed for you to show you how and teach you how to locate the nest/hive/whatever and stuff. And if you hadn't HAD YOUR MOMMY CALL FOR YOU I wouldn't have made with this much effing mockery.
Or, y'know... if making a phone call is too hard, you could have texted me. I'm old but I do know how to text. I am a fucking FONT of information about hornets and yellowjackets and I'll pour forth a damn treatise on them with the slightest prompting. By gum, when I got done talking or texting, you would FOREVER be able to tell bald faced hornets and yellowjackets apart and also would be able to kill them dead without dropping two hundred dollars on an exterminator.
If you'd even tried to solve your problem like a grown-up...
The cousins are whatever comes after Gen X and they're just... hopelessly useless.
I can't even.
So, along about 11 AM on Saturday, my aunt, who is not there, calls me to ask if I know any good exterminators because uncle (also not there) is very allergic to stinging insects (bees, yellowjackets, hornets, wasps) and while the boys aren't, she'd like to get the insects cleared up before her husband gets back out to the cabin.
I started to explain that stinging flying insects (yellowjackets, hornets, bees, wasps) are not generally an exterminator problem and are more of a go to the hardware and buy two cans of the RAID for wasps and hornets, the one with the black lid that sprays like 12 feet problem. Aunt said that the boys had both been stung and were pretty gun shy about getting stung again and also that uncle is VERY ALLERGIC.
*sigh*
I refrained from pointing out that if the boys weren't ALREADY dead in the yard of anaphalaxis, they would be just fine because they probably got her genes, which are "quarter sized welt that fades in six hours, itchy divot that persists for a week" genes when it comes to bees and wasps and hornets and so forth. Instead I was "Well, have them call when they get back from the hardware store and I'll pop over and do the spraying part if they can direct me to where the nest is, approximately."
Later that afternoon, I got a call from one of the boys saying that they'd gotten the spray and were back at the cabin. I drove over and took one of the (four) cans of RAID from the younger of the two boys. I asked him to show me where he was when he got stung and he stood... well back and gestured vaguely in the direction of the hose and crawl space access.
And so I stood there for approximately three minutes, about 8 feet away from the problem area. I was watching for flying stinging insects. They generally fly patrols and are out foraging and coming back and stuff, so if you just stand still at a non-threatening distance (for bald faced hornets and yellowjackets, this is a distance of some six to eight feet, without sudden movements or flailing.) you can see them returning and use them to help locate the nest/den/hive or whatever.
Cousin: Why aren't you spraying?
Me: I'm watching for stinging insects. Give me a minute. Once a few fly in, I can localize their living space for a targeted attack.
Cousin: You're going to get stung to hell and back. (I was, to be fair, not wearing a ton of clothing. It was 92F and sticky.)
Me: It'll be fine. They're only territorial to about six feet if they're not riled up. That's why the can sprays to 12 feet. Stand still and don't flail about and they won't even notice you.
After a few minutes of observing, I localized the issue to a bald faced hornet nest hidden in a shrubbery next to the hose faucet. It was the size of a small cantaloupe... so not a major issue just yet.
And I sprayed with the can of RAID, starting at the bottom of the nest (the entry/exit is at the bottom of the papery nest) and working my way slowly upward as the vigorous stream of the spray can shredded the nest. As I was not moving or flailing and I was sufficiently far away to not be deemed "a threat" (Bald faced hornets have not figured out the RAID spray cans yet), there were no stings on my (extensive) exposed skin. Eventually the nest was a soggy mass and there were no more live hornets visible.
I handed the (mostly empty) can to the cousin, told him to carefully recheck the area in the morning, and repeat spray like I did if he saw any more hornets. He said he would "try" but that he didn't want to get stung again.
Now. Would you like to guess the ages of the boys? Would you?
Please do. How old do you think these kids are?
Anyway. There is, at some point in the life of each human lucky enough to make it out of childhood, a time when they need to start doing the adulting. In the face of unpleasant situations, people need to step to the plate and Solve The Problem like an adult, even if they don't want to.
Shit, I frequently don't want to. I have to coach myself sometimes to get stuff done. Out loud, like just... saying stuff like "Come on, you can do this, it's not that bad, look, just start. It's not as bad as you're making it out to be. Look at you go, you're half done now, you got this! Great, now just power through to the end and you can have a coffee!" as a little verbal self-pep-talk. It's training wheels for adulting, I get that, and if I weren't such a toddler I wouldn't have to do it to accomplish things but... do I want the dishes done? I do. Do I want the car vacuumed out including the annoying crevices? I do. So... audible coaching and pep talk it is. Do what you gotta do to work it out. Srsly.
Adulting includes things like solving yellowjacket / bald faced hornet problems.
But which_chick, do you have to be such a bitch about it?
Yes. I do.
If (like my cousins) you are in your fucking forties, with grown-up jobs, married to a spouse and serving as the parent to two tiny tots (each. Each cousin has two children.), then you should not have to have your mommy call your cousin, whose phone number you 100% have, to ask her to save you from your stinging insect problem, you useless fucking goobers. This was TWO FORTY YEAR OLD ADULTS FAILING AT ADULTING. I weep for the future.
You COULD HAVE just called me directly (like an adult) and gotten some advice about the issue and then gone and done it. I'd even have come up and sprayed for you to show you how and teach you how to locate the nest/hive/whatever and stuff. And if you hadn't HAD YOUR MOMMY CALL FOR YOU I wouldn't have made with this much effing mockery.
Or, y'know... if making a phone call is too hard, you could have texted me. I'm old but I do know how to text. I am a fucking FONT of information about hornets and yellowjackets and I'll pour forth a damn treatise on them with the slightest prompting. By gum, when I got done talking or texting, you would FOREVER be able to tell bald faced hornets and yellowjackets apart and also would be able to kill them dead without dropping two hundred dollars on an exterminator.
If you'd even tried to solve your problem like a grown-up...
The cousins are whatever comes after Gen X and they're just... hopelessly useless.
I can't even.
