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which_chickIn the UPS today (no mail, it's one of the stupid holidays without mail or banks) I got a package. It's from my mom's husband.
I opened the package.
Did you guess? I'm sure that you've heard how particles being observed behave differently than particles not being observed and all that. In sort of the same way, having a blog influences how I frame the happenings in my life because I'm human, as are... at least most of you reading this... and humans like stories. Humans like stories so much that if Event A happens before Event B, we tend to assume that Event A caused Event B. But appropriate temporal positioning does not cause things. And I do know this, really I do, but the love of stories is very strong in humans.
I dropped a razor blade into a paint can at work today. The paint was thick so I thought I could get the razor blade out quickly. Here is a picture of my decision making skills:
Oh, and I've been enjoying the hell out of Satan's Guide to the Bible because it's comedy gold with felt boards. I like felt boards and sarcasm. Felt storyboards that reference the Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy are, seriously, da bomb.
I think that's probably enough shit, well, all of that plus also this delightful link to Spicy Peanut Noodles which I've really been enjoying in a "cut the sweet in half, add a little extra water for a wetter sauce situation" here of late, that I can now disclose that the package contained coffees. To be fair, these are coffees I had rated highly, but, still, coffees. And so my, like, week of joyous coffee of predictability that is the kind I like (medium roast Peruvian coffee from Weis, store brand, in bean form so that I can play with my stupid handheld coffee grinder every morning) is now over because I have free pre-ground coffee that needs to be used up. It's nice coffee, there's nothing wrong with it, but... it's not my coffee that I chose for myself. And it's three coffees so that now my mornings contain elements of decision-making.
Sometimes the gift you give is graciously accepting the gift that other people want to give you. The downside here is that it's not a gift anyone knows you are giving because if you let that slip, it's not going to make anyone happy.
I am difficult to buy gifts for because there are so many considerations and it's just... please don't buy me shit. It's better if you don't buy me shit. I buy my own shit and half the time I can't get it right, so you, not being me, you have zero chance at success. Just don't buy me shit. Just don't. I will not be mad. It's cool, dawg. I do not need things.
And yet people want to buy me things. *sigh* And in return, I give them the gift of lies. *gah* This is unsatisfactory but it's the best I've been able to do. I really have tried straight up literal "DO NOT BUY ME THINGS" but, like, it's my mom and her husband. They are not great listeners and they mean well and their love language is giving me things I do not want. To be fair, they are TRYING to get me things I want or will like.
Sixty-fucking seven varieties of coffee and I liked three pretty well and I then got the three I liked pretty well as a gift item. I mean, by any normal metrics, this is a fairly well-researched effort to provide me with things I want, so what the hell is wrong with me that I can't just be happy? Because I liked my coffee just fine and it met all my coffee needs including my desire to play with my very rewarding coffee grinder with nice metal heft and excellent rotary bearings and fantastic grind-y noises and pre-coffee coffee smells. I do not want to think about my coffee. I want to have something hot and coffee-like in the AM to pony motor me into full consciousness. I don't... taste it so much as slug it back and wait for it to kick in.
And now I have wrong coffee. It's pre-ground. It needs to be used up. Wasting food is wrong. It's OK coffee, honestly, it is. I'm not... mad about this so much as slightly disappointed. I knew Rod wanted someone to play coffee taste-testing with. And so I did that.
Tbh, I kind of suspected what would happen once I was done playing coffee taste-testing and while I did not want or need the expected outcome, Rod wanted someone to play coffee taste-testing with, so... I did that, to the bitter end. Upon the completion of the coffee taste-testing, things have turned out exactly as I expected they would, given my knowledge of my mom's husband and the way that he works.
There are three bags of gift coffee. I will put two of the bags in my very full freezer and use up one at a time. That'll cut down the decisioning. *sigh* And now it's literal months of The Wrong Coffee. Again. Damn it.
I opened the package.
Did you guess? I'm sure that you've heard how particles being observed behave differently than particles not being observed and all that. In sort of the same way, having a blog influences how I frame the happenings in my life because I'm human, as are... at least most of you reading this... and humans like stories. Humans like stories so much that if Event A happens before Event B, we tend to assume that Event A caused Event B. But appropriate temporal positioning does not cause things. And I do know this, really I do, but the love of stories is very strong in humans.
I dropped a razor blade into a paint can at work today. The paint was thick so I thought I could get the razor blade out quickly. Here is a picture of my decision making skills:
Oh, and I've been enjoying the hell out of Satan's Guide to the Bible because it's comedy gold with felt boards. I like felt boards and sarcasm. Felt storyboards that reference the Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy are, seriously, da bomb.
I think that's probably enough shit, well, all of that plus also this delightful link to Spicy Peanut Noodles which I've really been enjoying in a "cut the sweet in half, add a little extra water for a wetter sauce situation" here of late, that I can now disclose that the package contained coffees. To be fair, these are coffees I had rated highly, but, still, coffees. And so my, like, week of joyous coffee of predictability that is the kind I like (medium roast Peruvian coffee from Weis, store brand, in bean form so that I can play with my stupid handheld coffee grinder every morning) is now over because I have free pre-ground coffee that needs to be used up. It's nice coffee, there's nothing wrong with it, but... it's not my coffee that I chose for myself. And it's three coffees so that now my mornings contain elements of decision-making.
Sometimes the gift you give is graciously accepting the gift that other people want to give you. The downside here is that it's not a gift anyone knows you are giving because if you let that slip, it's not going to make anyone happy.
I am difficult to buy gifts for because there are so many considerations and it's just... please don't buy me shit. It's better if you don't buy me shit. I buy my own shit and half the time I can't get it right, so you, not being me, you have zero chance at success. Just don't buy me shit. Just don't. I will not be mad. It's cool, dawg. I do not need things.
And yet people want to buy me things. *sigh* And in return, I give them the gift of lies. *gah* This is unsatisfactory but it's the best I've been able to do. I really have tried straight up literal "DO NOT BUY ME THINGS" but, like, it's my mom and her husband. They are not great listeners and they mean well and their love language is giving me things I do not want. To be fair, they are TRYING to get me things I want or will like.
Sixty-fucking seven varieties of coffee and I liked three pretty well and I then got the three I liked pretty well as a gift item. I mean, by any normal metrics, this is a fairly well-researched effort to provide me with things I want, so what the hell is wrong with me that I can't just be happy? Because I liked my coffee just fine and it met all my coffee needs including my desire to play with my very rewarding coffee grinder with nice metal heft and excellent rotary bearings and fantastic grind-y noises and pre-coffee coffee smells. I do not want to think about my coffee. I want to have something hot and coffee-like in the AM to pony motor me into full consciousness. I don't... taste it so much as slug it back and wait for it to kick in.
And now I have wrong coffee. It's pre-ground. It needs to be used up. Wasting food is wrong. It's OK coffee, honestly, it is. I'm not... mad about this so much as slightly disappointed. I knew Rod wanted someone to play coffee taste-testing with. And so I did that.
Tbh, I kind of suspected what would happen once I was done playing coffee taste-testing and while I did not want or need the expected outcome, Rod wanted someone to play coffee taste-testing with, so... I did that, to the bitter end. Upon the completion of the coffee taste-testing, things have turned out exactly as I expected they would, given my knowledge of my mom's husband and the way that he works.
There are three bags of gift coffee. I will put two of the bags in my very full freezer and use up one at a time. That'll cut down the decisioning. *sigh* And now it's literal months of The Wrong Coffee. Again. Damn it.
