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Jul. 17th, 2007 02:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
which_chickHarry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter.
The last book, for residents of Papua New Guinea who speak a language that is only shared by two hundred and fifty of their relatives and who probably don't have a written translation of the damn thing or an audiobook method of coming into contact with The Boy Who Lived, is coming out on Saturday. The rest of you already knew that, I'm sure.
In case you just clicky-clicked on the cut without any actual thinking involved (I know how that can be -- my prose is just so tastylicious that mindless, Pavlovian clicking is a common problem for my readers), I am going to talk about what I think is going to happen in the final Harry Potter book.
Now, I am going to make PREDICTIONS. Not spoilers -- I have no idea what *really* happens any more than other normal people. This is my Wild-Arsed Guess and I am making it.
Please stop reading now if you think this might bother you.
Still here? Right, then.
Ready? I'm going to bury the first one in this here line so that maybe you won't have spotted it by accident when you clicked the cut during that first sugar rush of tastylicious prose. Anyway, you should have STOPPED READING BY NOW so that you don't get prediction-spoiled. You've stopped, right? First things first: Voldie really does die. Harry kills him. I'm pretty sure that's where it's going in the end. Rule One of Fantasy Novels: Evil is Defeated.
Also, there will be Harry and Ginny. Rowling is not going to off either of those because that's what happens after you get done beating up the bad guy. There is, on the macro scale, going to be a Happy Ending. ハッピーエンドは大好き, after all. Rule Two of Fantasy Novels: The Hero Gets the Girl. (Unless your hero is, say, Vanyel. If it's one of those novels, The Hero Gets the Guy... but there's still no sex.)
Along the way... we're going to lose some people. The author has said as much and this has, all along, been a seven-novel tale of growing up. To make the growing up seem real, the character has to lose people and it has to hurt. That means characters we actually know and (presumably) like are going to die. Cedric was sort of a cheat in that respect. We hardly freaking knew Cedric. Now, offing Dumbledore, yeah, that was a good one. I liked that all 'round. However, we need more. Personally, I really hope Hagrid dies. I hate Hagrid and he's a good character to kill. Harry is (inexplicably) fond of him but has lost the starry-eyed idolization he had to start with. Hagrid ushered Harry into the world of Hogwarts, and offing Hagrid would be a good frame to symbolize the end of Harry's childhood... starts with Hagrid, ends with Hagrid. I'm good with that. Besides, he freaking irritates me. His death could helpfully galvanize Harry (not that he needs it) into more adult-like responsibilty. Or something.
It is my considered opinion that Snape is a good guy... and not just because he fucks like a machine in fanfic. Snape does not have an easy row to hoe, never did. He is not a nice guy, but he is a good guy. Being able to appreciate that distinction is something that Harry (along with his readership) should be able to grasp in this book, finally. I hope. Good guy or not, Snape is going to die. I'm hoping he dies heroically and all, doing The Right Thing, but he's going to die. He might well die saving that toff Malfoy, the young one, but I don't see him getting out of The Deathly Hallows alive.
Lucius Malfoy will totally not survive. In fact, he should die in a messy and painful way that cements Malfoy-the-younger to the side of the light. I am a believer in the redemption of Malfoy-the-younger and I honestly think that's what Rowling was gunning for with him-not-killing-D in the last book. Draco is going to not-die and he's going to grow up into the next gen Snape, you betcha. He will provide valuable information or skillz to La Resistance to prove his (ever-doubted-afterward, because, yo, that's what the good guys are like) seriousness.
Ron and Hermione will hook up. While I'd like to see Hermione playing with the Ministry after all the chips have fallen, she will probably not do that due to hooking up with Ron.
Neville will be more heroic than we have heretofore noticed him being... probably something with herbs. This, too, is a trope. Rule Twelve: Hero's Fat Friend Is More Heroic Than Suspected, Can Contribute Meaningfully. (Still does not get girl.)
One of the twins (Fred and George) is going to die. They're solid and well-liked supporting characters who have featured pretty largely. It'll be a good thing to have at the survivor festivities... half of the once-whole twins. I bet she offs one of the twins.
Over The Rainbow:
If I were writing the books, Snape and Malfoy-the-younger would have spent the entire summer hiding from the DE folks and the Potterites by pretending to be muggles in Brighton & Hove. :) It is probably a very good thing that I am not writing the books.
The last book, for residents of Papua New Guinea who speak a language that is only shared by two hundred and fifty of their relatives and who probably don't have a written translation of the damn thing or an audiobook method of coming into contact with The Boy Who Lived, is coming out on Saturday. The rest of you already knew that, I'm sure.
In case you just clicky-clicked on the cut without any actual thinking involved (I know how that can be -- my prose is just so tastylicious that mindless, Pavlovian clicking is a common problem for my readers), I am going to talk about what I think is going to happen in the final Harry Potter book.
Now, I am going to make PREDICTIONS. Not spoilers -- I have no idea what *really* happens any more than other normal people. This is my Wild-Arsed Guess and I am making it.
Please stop reading now if you think this might bother you.
Still here? Right, then.
Ready? I'm going to bury the first one in this here line so that maybe you won't have spotted it by accident when you clicked the cut during that first sugar rush of tastylicious prose. Anyway, you should have STOPPED READING BY NOW so that you don't get prediction-spoiled. You've stopped, right? First things first: Voldie really does die. Harry kills him. I'm pretty sure that's where it's going in the end. Rule One of Fantasy Novels: Evil is Defeated.
Also, there will be Harry and Ginny. Rowling is not going to off either of those because that's what happens after you get done beating up the bad guy. There is, on the macro scale, going to be a Happy Ending. ハッピーエンドは大好き, after all. Rule Two of Fantasy Novels: The Hero Gets the Girl. (Unless your hero is, say, Vanyel. If it's one of those novels, The Hero Gets the Guy... but there's still no sex.)
Along the way... we're going to lose some people. The author has said as much and this has, all along, been a seven-novel tale of growing up. To make the growing up seem real, the character has to lose people and it has to hurt. That means characters we actually know and (presumably) like are going to die. Cedric was sort of a cheat in that respect. We hardly freaking knew Cedric. Now, offing Dumbledore, yeah, that was a good one. I liked that all 'round. However, we need more. Personally, I really hope Hagrid dies. I hate Hagrid and he's a good character to kill. Harry is (inexplicably) fond of him but has lost the starry-eyed idolization he had to start with. Hagrid ushered Harry into the world of Hogwarts, and offing Hagrid would be a good frame to symbolize the end of Harry's childhood... starts with Hagrid, ends with Hagrid. I'm good with that. Besides, he freaking irritates me. His death could helpfully galvanize Harry (not that he needs it) into more adult-like responsibilty. Or something.
It is my considered opinion that Snape is a good guy... and not just because he fucks like a machine in fanfic. Snape does not have an easy row to hoe, never did. He is not a nice guy, but he is a good guy. Being able to appreciate that distinction is something that Harry (along with his readership) should be able to grasp in this book, finally. I hope. Good guy or not, Snape is going to die. I'm hoping he dies heroically and all, doing The Right Thing, but he's going to die. He might well die saving that toff Malfoy, the young one, but I don't see him getting out of The Deathly Hallows alive.
Lucius Malfoy will totally not survive. In fact, he should die in a messy and painful way that cements Malfoy-the-younger to the side of the light. I am a believer in the redemption of Malfoy-the-younger and I honestly think that's what Rowling was gunning for with him-not-killing-D in the last book. Draco is going to not-die and he's going to grow up into the next gen Snape, you betcha. He will provide valuable information or skillz to La Resistance to prove his (ever-doubted-afterward, because, yo, that's what the good guys are like) seriousness.
Ron and Hermione will hook up. While I'd like to see Hermione playing with the Ministry after all the chips have fallen, she will probably not do that due to hooking up with Ron.
Neville will be more heroic than we have heretofore noticed him being... probably something with herbs. This, too, is a trope. Rule Twelve: Hero's Fat Friend Is More Heroic Than Suspected, Can Contribute Meaningfully. (Still does not get girl.)
One of the twins (Fred and George) is going to die. They're solid and well-liked supporting characters who have featured pretty largely. It'll be a good thing to have at the survivor festivities... half of the once-whole twins. I bet she offs one of the twins.
Over The Rainbow:
If I were writing the books, Snape and Malfoy-the-younger would have spent the entire summer hiding from the DE folks and the Potterites by pretending to be muggles in Brighton & Hove. :) It is probably a very good thing that I am not writing the books.
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no subject
Date: 2007-07-17 07:55 pm (UTC)I have not yet looked at the torrents, either.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 12:39 am (UTC)Voldemort dies. And though I'd rather see Harry with Luna than Ginny, you're probably right that they will re-hook-up after Voldie dies.
Snape is good, and I am sure he'll die, too, much as I want him to live (he'll live on in fandom AU fics, though). His dying while saving Draco is a good scenario - I agree that the reason Draco didn't off Dumbledore in HBP was so that he wouldn't be tainted & end up like Lucius, who will die at Voldemort's side.
I've also had a niggling feeling that Hagrid dies - I like your explanation of why - I hadn't put that much thought into it.
I'm not, however, lining up for a copy at midnight, and I have not pre-ordered a copy. I'll likely get it early next week, at WalMart.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 01:15 am (UTC)1. Voldy kills Ron.
2. So Harry can hook up with Hermione, who is so much better for him than Ginny.
3. Snape is bad. Hence that whole killing Dumbledore thing. And as a badguy, he gets what's coming to him.
4. This involves blast-ended scrutes.
5. Draco is too pansy to kill off, unfortunately, even though he deserves it. I hate that guy.
6. Sirius is back from the dead.
7. They finally learn more than six spells by name, so we don't have to have another fricking book full of the same damn things over and over and over again.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 03:42 am (UTC)I hadn't even thought about whether I was avoiding spoilerage or not till I saw it in the paper. Decided, sure, why not. Last book and all.
I preordered it but hell if I was gonna pay shipping. Put it in an order with another preorder for a book not out till December. That way I get my two shipments and my free shipping too :) So maybe I'll have it Saturday, maybe not.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-18 01:39 pm (UTC)Your predictions are very well thought out. I wish I could think things out like this. My brain's genius lies in other directions, however. Me, I sorta like Hagrid so will be sad if/when he goes. The rest, though, yeah.
As to Walmart - mine has it on the day it's released. I plan to mosey in Saturday morning and get my copy, as I did with the last book. Of course, I live in a smaller town with only one small bookstore, so Walmart is our only other option. But last book was out and in big stacks and I picked it up and fondled it most inappropriately in the middle of the store...
no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 08:21 am (UTC)Hey, my flatmate's boyfriend did his PHD researching one of them. The result is a ~500 page tome sitting on our shelf...
As to the rest... good thinking. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the book :)