(no subject)

[which_chick]

Here's a quick state-of-your-(immortal)-soul question:

What is the greatest moral evil of our day?

(Someone tried to proseletyze to me today. I'm in one of those moods about religion. Probably the sensitive among us could do without reading this post because I go to town with the snark.)



It's television. Seriously, I got this pamphlet that someone stuffed into the door at 216 #1 today and that's what it says: Surely Christians should not participate in the greatest moral evil of our day. Lest you think I'm quoting out of context, I give you the whole bullet point.

• Television has had a damaging impact upon society. Surely Christians should not participate in the greatest moral evil of our day.

Yeah, I know. It looks like I left something out, there. I assure you that I did not leave anything out. That's the entire bullet point... but I'm getting ahead of myself. I present, for your amusement, my take on Why Christians do NOT have Televisions! (subtitle: Do you love God or do you love Worldly Entertainment?)

*****

Christians do not have Televisions! Yeah, I got that from the title of your pamphlet.

Almost all people, Christian or not, agree that television viewing is undermining America. Yeah, but the Incredibles are on the case. They'll get that Underminer, you betcha! Educators lament the hours wasted by school children. Politicians decry the political bias of the main stream media. Those in the legal system oppose the popularization of violence. Except for brother-the-younger, attorney at law and fan of gangsta rap and hiphop. Finally, those who hold traditional values denounce the perverted sexual themes of many programs. These programs of which you speak, can you direct me to them? Hell, I might want to get cable if there are perverted sexual themes to be had. I thought that shit was all Pay-Per-View like Wet Palms and stuff.

Yet knowing the problems of television viewing, many professing "Christians" continue to view and allow their children to view that which God condemns. The following are several reasons why Christians would not have a television in their home. I don't like that first sentence at all. I'm not sure that it's as clear as it could be. How about "Despite knowing the hazards of watching television, many professing blah blah..." That's more clear. I had a hell of a time with "Yet knowing". Also, when you go with "The following...", don't you have to wind up with a colon to denote a list to come afterwards?

Christians are a holy people. Christians keep themselves pure, as Heb 12:14 says without holiness no man shall see the Lord. Television emphasizes both violence and immorality; therefore God's holy people do not have televisions. I got an A in college-level symbolic logic. Just because you *say* "therefore" doesn't mean that you've proven anything... and I won't grant you that if you use the three little dots, either. You do get a head nod for using a semicolon to join two short indep. clauses, though.

Christians love God with all their heart, soul, strength, and mind according to the greatest commandment (Luke 10:27). Television continually glamorizes what God hates, and Christians are ridiculed. The value system of television undermines Christian values and our love for the things of God. Therefore a person who has a television, loves the entertainment of the world more than he or she loves God. I John 2:15 says, "If any man love the world, the love of the father is not in him." The second sentence, the one starting "Television continually glamorizes" starts with an active verb and a personified Television (must be The Underminer's alter ego, ne?) but drifts into passive voice after the conjunction. Bad user! A better structure would be "Television continually glamorizes what God hates, and it ridicules Christians." The second sentence isn't hideous (though I'd like it better if it had parallel structure in the predicate) but the third uses commas like it was written by Captain Carrot and demonstrates the author's failure to grasp a line of reasoning. Saying "therefore" isn't enough to make a point. A stronger line of reasoning would be to say something like "According to the greatest commandment (Luke 10:27), Christians love God with all their heart, soul, strength, and mind. Because television continually glamorizes what God hates and ridicules Christians, it undermines Christian values and our love for the things of God. Since television is directly opposed to Christian belief and the glorification of our heavenly Father, any person who has a television loves the entertainment of the world more than he or she loves God. I John 2:15 says, "If any man love the world, the love of the father is not in him." Again, bad user!

Genuine Christians set a good example of moral behavior. Others who follow our example should be lead toward heaven. Since most people cannot control their desire to view that which is ungodly, Christians do not own televisions. Paul said that no man should put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. Rom 14:13, I Tim 4:12, and I Cor. 8:11-13. I cannot argue with the first sentence. Not only is it clearly written in unassailable English, it's a solid statement and one I believe to be mostly true. The second sentence isn't bad, either, though I do not agree with it. The third sentence... dang. I would be a lot more willing to accept the statement if it said "Since most people cannot control their desire to view that which is ungodly, Christians SHOULD not own televisions." but the way it's written, I just started snickering.

Moral Chaos Caused by the Television. I was expecting an exclamation point, here. Seriously, if there's no exclamation point, how can I possibly take this Moral Chaos seriously?

• Teaches a value system which is opposed to biblical truth. This constant repetition of humanistic values has undermined the core values of America. "Humanistic" derives from "Humanism", which Wikipedia tells me is "a broad category of active ethical philosophies that affirm the dignity and worth of all people, based on the ability to determine right and wrong by appeal to universal human qualities—particularly rationalism." While I'm not entirely sure that television constantly drills humanistic values, can you please tell me how on earth the dignity and worth of all people is a bad thing? What, precisely, are the kinds of values YOU are hoping to see? You do know that, according to your own silly-ass story, people can tell Good from Evil all by themselves, without God. Remember? The Bible tells us that Eve et of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge (not of the Tree of Life, for if she'd et that apple, or perhaps it was a pear on that tree, we'd all be immortal and Princes of the Universe except without swords and all their lush phallic imagery) and thereby gained (a) expulsion from the Garden of Eden and (b) the knowledge of (wait for it) Good and Evil. Yowza.
  
  Excessive footnote-y goodness for those among us who don't read The Bible, that bestseller of all bestsellers, the book (aside from the works of russian novelists) most likely to be owned by people who have never read it.
  
  Genesis 2:16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: 2:17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. (Clearly, God is being all metaphorical with the "shalt surely die" part, y'know, dying in a not-exactly-literally-and-immediately kind of way.)
  
  Later on:
  
  3:4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 3:5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. (The serpent is right about the 'not surely die' thing but he's being literal in the face of a metaphorical threat, which is kind of unfair and misleading. But he's the (Jack Sparrow voice) Prince of Lies. It's his job to lie. That's what he's FOR.) 3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. 3:7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
  
  And then, later:
  
  3:22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: 3:23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. 3:24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life. (See? I'm not making shit up, here. The King James is, as far as I am concerned, the definitive voice with which God spoke. Besides, it's classy and reads well. Anyway, following the apple theft, Adam and Eve get (a) the knowledge of good and evil and (b) expulsion from the Garden of Eden. Also they get to toil for food and to bring forth new life in blood and pain, at least until the discovery of choloroform and, later, epidurals. Is it okay for Christians to use pain-dulling medical techniques during childbirth? I'm pretty sure that the sacrifice of the Lamb of God meant that Christians didn't have to make blood sacrifice to God anymore, but I don't think it freed folks from lives of toil OR the thing about bringing forth new life in blood and pain.)
  
  
• Excessive violence -- by the time the average person becomes an adult, he will have seen 18,000 murders. Yes, but they're pretend murders. I don't think that they really count and besides, the Bobo study isn't all that. Also, your parallel structure? I'm not seeing it.
  
  
• Glamorizes sexual content and must continually be more degrading in order to shock people. Now it is promoting the homosexual lifestyle. Ah, there's the business-speak implied subject (which should draw from the statement setting up the bullet points. Our statement is "Moral Chaos Caused by the Television, so our actor here would be Television and the examples should all be of Moral Chaos, though again, nothing so chaotic as to require an exclamation point.) and active, present-tense verb. Proper bullet lists have active, present-tense verbs at the start of each bullet point to help them seem more vital and interesting and less soul-deadening and mind-numbing. (I learned how to write bullet points at Aberdeen Proving Grounds when the acoustics department was generating a mission statement.) I can't argue that television is promoting the homosexual lifestyle, though. Look at all those shows with gay characters in them... it's not just Smallville and Highlander and Star Trek and The Sentinal and Due South and The X-Files. Teh H4wt Ghey Sex0r is pervasive. Practically any show with two reasonably-attractive male leads is a seething hotbed of homosexual lu-- Oh, wait, sorry. My bad. I'm confusing slash fanfic with reality again. I hate when that happens.
  
  
• Teaches it is more important to be entertained than do what is right. Yet, God demands responsible, holy living. Unfortunately, people today, believe it is more important to have fun than do what is right. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Parallel structure is your friend. "more important to be entertained than to do what is right" Also, in the third sentence, I see Carrot's been helping you with your commas again. They're not the Mrs. Dash of punctuation, folks.
  
  
• Encourages the development of the wrong figures as heroes. Movie stars are commonly the most immoral group in society. Or maybe movie stars are the people we'd be if we were insanely pretty and rich enough to behave badly without consequences. Are you trying to tell me that Ms. White-Trash-Trailer-Park would do any better than an average movie star if she were to suddenly become rich and famous? (I am not mentioning any names. I am not mentioning any -- Oops, I did it again!)
  
  
• Addictive by nature. It is almost impossible to stop watching that which is wrong. That is why you watch what you watch. Television viewing is rarely, if ever, controlled. The Bible teaches that we are not to become addicted to ungodly habits. I Cor. 6:12 I don't see any present-tense action verb at the front of your bullet point, boyo. Are you sure you're really trying, here?
  
  
• Glorifies an unchristian lifestyle and mocks religion and Christian values. Is "unchristian" a word? Satanists: The Unchristians!
  

Technological Traps

While the moral values are deplorable, there are also some problem with use of the technology which are damaging to our culture today. All errors in the previous sentence are in the original.

• Causes increased social problems.
  1. Encourages breakdown of family because of limited communication.
  2. Limits development of communication skills in both children and adults.
  3. Discourages social interaction among children, since televisions provides entertainment. No longer are neighborhoods filled with the sounds of happy children playing together.
• Causes decreased mental development
  1. Studes show that the mind is discouraged from thinking during the programming, since all information is given, including the pictures. Where's the study? I'd believe you more if you offered references, even if I didn't bother to check 'em out.
  2. It quickly moves from one scene to another, not giving a person, time for thought. Carrot comma.
  3. T.V. viewing replaces reading as entertainment, hindering reading skills.
  4. Interferes with completion of homework.
• Causes increased physical problems
  1. Decreases physical activities which leads to poorer physical condition and health.
  2. Hard on the eyes. I thought that was masturbation...
• Causes a waste of time. This activity is the greatest time waster in our culture. Clearly, these people have never heard of the internet. The Bible says we are to be "redeeming the time" (Eph 5:16 and Col 4:5). A preschooler watches 52 hours of television per week. By graduation, the average child has watched 22,000 hours.
• Television has had a damaging impact upon society. Surely Christians should not participate in the greatest moral evil of our day.
• Believable but gives a false picture of life. Like I really believe that teenagers in California all look like they're in their early twenties and they're all skinny and attractive, like on Veronica Mars? Give me a little credit, here. Movies do not show the consequences of sin (because every time you have unprotected sex, you get pregnant and catch AIDS and die in a back-alley abortion and go Directly To Hell without passing Go or collecting $200 (and if you DO collect $200, you're going to hell for being a lady of negotiable virtue anyway even if you manage to escape the AIDS and the back-alley abortion by sucking off the devil or something) and the news media only gives a biased view of the news But I thought Faux News was on your side... and cannot encourage people to analyze issues. And you want people to analyze issues why? So that they can wear some of the shiny off their knowledge of Good and Evil? It didn't sound that way on the previous leaf of the leaflet. Am I not supposed to remember back that far? Maybe I should just shut up and eat my bowl of Biskies.
• Advertising breeds discontent and materialism. Y'know, I kind of think it does. I kind of think that's what it's for... which is not to say that I approve of it.
• Religious programing on television is doctrinally wrong and has been commonly used by religious charlatans. Typo in programming is in the original.

The Christian position on the issue. I know! I know! It's Missionary!! (I am particularly proud of this joke.)

The Church is in a battle for its future. Television is Satan's method of propagating his theology. Professing Christians are listening more to the Devil than to the Lord. If in the battle for the survival of our country during World War II, a person loved Nazi Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a classic instance of Godwin's Law. I declare victory. Huzzah!!

*****

No, I am not making up the Nazi thing. It's honest-to-dog in the fucking pamphlet. And, no, I didn't know that Godwin's Law was how I was going to end my fisking before I started. I don't plan out these posts quite that well. Mostly I just take an idea and run with it, as evidenced by my sort of wandering prose.

Comments

[wootsauce.livejournal.com]

Oh my god and that's not even ALL of it? Jeez, epic. I'm also really disappointed that the greatest moral evil of our time is TELEVISION. Points for not choosing the gay, but still.

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

Like I say, I don't figure they know about the internets if they picked television as the great moral evil. That's *so* twentieth-century of them!

[wootsauce.livejournal.com]

IT'S THEM ZIPPERS AND TELEPHONES

[electroweak.livejournal.com]

Moral Chaos Caused by the Television.

It was Professor Plum on the Internets with the Google.

[ladyivy.livejournal.com]

which_chick wrote because I go to town with the snark.

...Somehow I was not at all surprised by this statement. I can't imagine why not.

[cousin-sue.livejournal.com]

I love how people speak for the Church Universal *and* for God and don't write where those two bodies tell them to go and publish this trash.

Also :

"Oh, wait, sorry. My bad. I'm confusing slash fanfic with reality again. I hate when that happens."

No, not hate, I bet. I bet you're disappointed...

[cousin-sue.livejournal.com]

Actually, you weren't nearly as snarky as I expected...

You could have been way *more*... and deservedly so!

[staceman.livejournal.com]

Imagine the field day Jack Chick would have illustrating this pamphlet.

[brni.livejournal.com]

how on earth the dignity and worth of all people is a bad thing?

paul told god to tell paul to tell the xtians that wimmins were inferior and subordinate. therefore god wants wimmins (and queers, and colored folks, and heathans) to be subjugated. which ain't a dignified state, and only promotes the worth of the subjugators.

t's his job to lie. That's what he's FOR.

and since god made everything according to His Plan, all human misery and suffering is god's fault, and god simply set satan up to take the fall for it.

Teaches it is more important to be entertained than do what is right. Yet, God demands responsible, holy living.

this brings up something i saw today - guy i know with is going part time so that he can spend 40 hours/week running IT stuff for his cult^H^H^H^Hchurch (who feel perfectly ok with asking him to do this). he's doing this because he feels that that is what god wants him to do. same guy also gets netflix dvds and rips them so he can have his own copy of the movie w/o buying it. that one had me scratching my head...

Studes show that the mind is discouraged from thinking...

probably talking about the marshall mcluhan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marshall_McLuhan) stuff, albeit in a generally non-cognitive way.