(no subject)

[which_chick]

If you haven't been to amazon.com lately, they've redone the damn site again. In a very Winnie-the-Pooh voice, I say unto thee, "Oh bugger."



If amazon.com gets any more wonky with their fucking site, it's going to be not-navigable with the dialup that I have. I do not have all day for the extensive and substantial shit that they load and I don't really give a flying fuck about (for example) album covers. My life takes place without album covers and I actually listen to a lot of folks whose faces I would not be able to pick out of a police lineup.

Same with books. I'm not going to buy the new Elf Porn book based on the sleazy cover illustration. I'm going to buy the Elf Porn book because I want to read the damn thing (as amazingly unlikely as that sounds to people, my mother included, who sincerely hope that I have better taste than I actually do). I don't really need pictures. I am not hideously interested in how many other people buy the shit that I buy or where it ranks in amazon.com sales. I am not buying shit to fit in or to be popular. Thank the random fluctuations in the space-time continuum, that segment of my life, which died shortly after birth like the really defective baby from the rednecky X-Files episode that was set in Pennsylvania (but really they meant West Virginia, only that would have been too obvious so they said Pennsylvania instead), didn't make it out of the early eighties. I'm done with fitting in and being popular and I was never very good at either one anyway. (It's all for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds.) But anyway. I'm not really interested in more visuals for buying my music and my books and my movies and my television shows. I am interested in a website that loads in less than ten minutes.

While I'm at it, amazon.com, I'd like speedy, streamlined shopping. You're getting into feature creep and fucking up a good thing in the process. Lest you think I am some n00b, I'd like to mention that I've had an account since 1996. Yes. I have been shopping at amazon.com for ten years. I am a repeat customer. I've bought bucketloads of shit from you people and I know what I like.

I don't really want you to keep trying to fucking upsell me, either. The "people who bought X like you did also bought Y" is helpful, yes. The "people who looked at X like you did bought Y instead" is also helpful. But I don't need endless screens of that shit after I have bought something. I also don't need "If you buy X and Y together, we'll knock a couple of bucks off the total" because mostly I don't *want* Y or I'd have fucking bought it already.

I am not interested in Amazon Prime and there is no way I'm letting you have access to my bank account. Please stop asking both of these questions.

Also, I don't like the clicky gold box thing. Can you make it go away? I don't *care* what's inside it and it's never ever had anything I wanted. I don't like it.

Comments

[ksleet.livejournal.com]

Also, I don't like the clicky gold box thing. Can you make it go away? I don't *care* what's inside it and it's never ever had anything I wanted. I don't like it.

I think I clicked on the gold box once. It contained a shiny nickel!

[electroweak.livejournal.com]

Don't lie to the lady. It was a Canadian nickel.

[fooliv.livejournal.com]

I don' think I've ever seen a Canadian nickel. Do they not shine? It seems a very Canadian thing to do, applying an anti-shine or auto-tarnish wash to their currency. Lucre should be filthy, after all.

[cousin-sue.livejournal.com]

I shall bring one to the next meeting for you. It has a beaver on it.

It is shiny, and slightly lighter than a USAian nickel, and so does not function in the vending machine at work.

I think i saw a bahamian nickel once too.

[fooliv.livejournal.com]

Don't expect me at the next meeting, which would be tomorrow, if I'm reading the calendar aright. I've got a teetering pile of work, and vacation coming up one of these days. Tomorrow's a working Saturday for me.

[not-your-real.livejournal.com]

Amen!