Dec. 7th, 2023

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The radio station is ... something I listen to at work. It's background noise because I have a brain the size of a planet and painting apartments does not ever use all my processing cycles. The noise is comfortable and it's... basically the genre I conceptualize as redneck rock. At least once per day, the station plays CSN's Southern Cross, which I unironically love. There's something by Rush at least once daily (which reminds me of College Boyfriend, avid Rush fan, whose method of dumping me took up space in my brain for literal years, thanks for nothing, College Boyfriend) and I like that OK too despite the College Boyfriend associations. It plays the Rolling Stones, Kiss, Van Halen, y'know. Things that were popular on the radio forty years ago and this is comforting because I have the olds, if you didn't already know that. Anyway. So I'm there painting along and listening to very familiar music, the soundtrack of my youth, and She's So Cold comes on.

Now, look. I like Mick. I like the Stones. I go about my everyday kind of shocked that Keith Richards isn't dead yet, but otherwise I'm good with the Rolling Stones and the music of theirs that gets played on the local radio station. (I think they could totally investigate some of the earlier catalog, like, y'know, Paint It Black and Mother's Little Helper, but the local radio station only plays SOME Stones songs, so... yeah. They also only ever play Touch of Grey, like it's the only fucking song the Grateful Dead ever did... not.) But I digress. The song, She's So Cold, I'm familiar with it and I can sing along to the song. But you can sing along to lyrics and not... really listen to them, not really parse them as actual words with meaning, and apparently that's what I've been doing for literal years.

But, sometimes, when I am painting and singing along to these songs I've heard for the best part of forty years, I wind up actually listening to the words and then I'm... like... whoa.

She's So Cold is 100% a Whiny Cuck Anthem. I have no idea how anyone ever thought this was a cool idea for a song. "Hottie Is Totally Uninterested In Me, WAH WAH WAH!"

Look, Mick, maybe she's just not that into you. Maybe she likes beefcake and not stringy musicians. Maybe she likes other girls. Maybe she's kinda asexual. Whatever it is, for any reason or none, she's allowed to be not that into you.

I have no idea how on earth this band convinced people that "WAH, HOT GIRL WON'T BONE ME" was a cool idea for a song. But yeah, all I can do now is kind of laugh about this unrequited boner of a song. Lol, man.

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