(no subject)

[which_chick]

I really like winter, in case that's not clear to all and sundry. It's a lot of fun for me. Every day, I get to reassure my grandmother, morning and night, that I am not dead. That's fun. It's nice that she worries so much... but I get the ongoing impression that she thinks I'm so fucking incompetent that the only reason I have not yet died in the course of my everyday activities is pure dumb luck. (The dumb luck is only for when I play with electrics, grandma. The rest of the time, not so much with the dumb luck.)



It's super duper fun to listen to the summer people and how much they enjoy coming down in the winter, when the road is a fucking train wreck. It's also fun to spend my otherwise uneventful Saturdays trying to rescue people who should not be there and yet are, sideways in the middle of the road. Yeah, I like that. I like that a LOT. I like saving people on the road so much that I'm thinking of volunteering for AAA in order to maximize my saving opportunities. I just can't get me enough of that saving mojo.

It's also nice to have caring and involved conversations with my family about how I am totally failing to consider anything useful to do in a given situation and that I really need to hire someone else to do what I cannot and that they, who are not anywhere near the situation, know better than I do what needs to be suggested to the trained professional (with whom I have already spoken, thereby acknowledging my total fucking uselessness) who has been fucking with the unplowable for the last twenty years. Those conversations are totally reassuring and I'm glad that they choose to have them with me. Their vocal and clear concern makes me feel really competent and able to handle situations, which, if I were able to do, we would not be having the conversation in the first place. Yes. I get it. I *totally* get it. They are smarter and more able and more useful than I am. And, y'know, there is not any reason for me to get all upset or anything about being incompetent. None. It's nothing personal. Not everyone can be a Really Useful Engine. They just want to help. Really.

Y'know, it's been a long time since I thought putting a bullet in my head* was a good idea. I'd almost forgotten how it felt. Thanks, everyone. It's been a great day. I'm so glad that you could all help me feel that way again. I love you all.

*Note: probably won't actually do this. My vast and unsullied tracts of incompetence strongly suggest that I might miss and wind up a vegetable. Having seen the living conditions for vegetables, I'm not sure I want to risk it. Also, I am responsible. I am. Very responsible. Worthless and incompetent, of course, but responsible. Can't leave things without someone around to fuck them up on a regular basis, right? By the time Dad gets back I'll have all calmed down and everything. It'll be fine.

On the plus side, everything is shoveled out and salted. Apparently I am still able to run a fucking shovel without people telling me I'm doing it wrong. I should be thankful for the small things.

Comments

[sector-r.livejournal.com]

Yeah, can totally sympathize.

If I am so foolish as to admit to anything less-than-perfect that is happening in own my life my mom has some worried, cautionary advice to prevent me from winding up destitute, crippled, brain-dead, and/or all dead. And, if nothing awful is currently happening, this just gives free rein for other, less-likely avenues of catastrophe to be endlessly dwelt upon.

There's no good way out, because to comment upon the flood of negativism is to spurn them and their entire lifetime of hard-learned experience, and devalue one's entire relationship with them and consequently become branded as a naive, frivolous, ungrateful slime.

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

I get told to quit whining, as per following comment.

[electroweak.livejournal.com]

Alphabetsoup55 is the type of fucker who spends his/her private time torturing cats to death, so I wouldn't listen to him/her/it.

quit whining

[kkllmmnnoo55.livejournal.com]

Instead of acidly martyring yourself in a room of straw men, perhaps you should quit whining and get the help you need to solve the problem.

Re: quit whining

[electroweak.livejournal.com]

The help to solve the problem would be your death, kkllmmnnoo55, in a pit of acid and vipers. Or perhaps vipers that spit acid. However, since you're a fucking coward who created a throwaway account to make this comment so that your IP address can't be seen, it's unlikely that you'll ever be found and therefore no one will ever be able to throw you into that well-deserved pit.

Jackass. Admit your name or spend the rest of your life knowing that you're a disgusting coward who had to snipe from anonymity because you can't handle people knowing what a dick you are to other humans.

Re: quit whining

[which-chick.livejournal.com]

I don't know, Kzin. My first thought on reading said comment was that it sounded like one of my brothers. If I had to put money down, that's where I'd bet. Dad doesn't write that well.

Re: quit whining

[cousinsue.livejournal.com]

Venting to your *friends* is not martyring in a room of straw men. I am a meat woman, thank you very much.

I say ditch them all and come live down south where we can see more of you!

[carv1982.livejournal.com]

I just end up not sharing much about my life with my family. It's probably a pretty unhealthy choice. I'm lucky I married someone who doesn't give me that bullshit. She's about the only one, though.

[cousinsue.livejournal.com]

They suck.

You do not.