(no subject)

[which_chick]

Today, I practiced tact.



Since I didn't say the things I wanted to say when I wanted to say them, I'm saying them to you, the faceless wailing wall of the internetwebmotron.

To the guy at the hardware store who thinks he may have a chance with me: No. No. A thousand times, no. You are so not-in-my-league that we're not even playing the same sport. Please give up before I have to be mean to you.

To the tenant whose hot water heater I replaced at work today: You are a fucking asshole. I did not like it that you made jokes with the hired help (who is male and the age of my father) about "what a pain in the ass it is having to work with a woman" while we were at your apartment fixing your hot water heater today. I particularly didn't like it that you were so fucking crass as to say that shit within my hearing and while watching my face so that the only reaction I could give you was the weak "Oh, you men!" half-smile. You probably didn't notice but there was a pipe wrench not two feet from my right hand. You're lucky to be alive, you uselessly limp fuckstick.

To the high-school age daughter of the tenant who lives below the porch I was scraping today: Go ahead and admit you're a lesbian. You might as well. You're not fooling anyone, and you make a lovely baby bull dyke. (Offended baby bull dykes are welcome to come try to beat me up -- I feel like hitting something.)

Comments

[d-ubervillain.livejournal.com]

Congratulations. You have successfully used "fuckstick" in a sentence. A very satisfying exclamation, what leaves a full, almost tingly sensation on the tongue.

[electroweak.livejournal.com]

In conjunction with the modifier "uselessly limp," no less, which confirms the definition of the word.