which_chick | Life in a small town.

One of my tenants moved out about a year ago. Young guy, had two kids with a girlfriend that he broke up with about as soon as the second kid hit the ground. After a while, he got a new girlfriend and they (the pair of them) were getting a house. Okay, fine. It's the American Dream.

My tenant was a nice guy. He was a good tenant raising reasonably good kids for all that they were tiny tots (one diapers-and-walking and one infant-no-walking). He took care of them on his own once the first girlfriend was gone, with some help from his mom, who lived nearby.

After about a year of singlehanding it, he got New Girlfriend and then very shortly was house shopping. I thought he was getting a house pretty... quickly. I also thought that they were moving in together pretty... quickly. But I don't have two small kids as a single guy in my early-twenties so what the hell do I know.

I don't usually follow what happens with my tenants after they move out, but this is a very rural area, small community, etc. If there's news, you will hear the news. So, over the holiday weekend, police responded to a call about a three year old boy "choking on wipes" in this aforesaid small community.

The three year old "died" at Pittsburgh Children's on Sunday, but in truth he was likely pert near dead before he ever got there. They don't ship kids off to Pittsburgh Children's from these parts unless they're pert near dead and/or being kept "alive" until they can be parted out.

Pro Tip: If you are going to claim a child is choking on wipes, it's best if (a) wipes are tasty (they aren't) and (b) the child is not exhibiting OTHER evidence of an ongoing pattern of physical abuse and (c) there isn't fresh bruising on the child's neck indicating strangulation. Oh, and (d) you don't let 25 minutes elapse between the photo of the collapsed boy that you texted to his father and you actually calling 9-1-1 for help.

(Ex-tenant is, imho, 100% innocent. I knew tenant as a wee-ish tot because his mother rented from me when she was a single mom with four boys. She rented from me when she was a married mom with five boys. She and New Husband were good people. They still are. I watched ex-tenant grow up. He was a good kid. ALSO he was at work during the incident so he totally didn't do it with his own hands. But... he would never even if he had been home nor would he have encouraged or suggested it.

Ex-tenant had sole custody of the wee ones for about a year between departure of Baby Mama and arrival of New Girlfriend, during which time I was his landlord. Because of his schedule (he worked nights, still does), I picked up the rent in person every month. Picking up the rent, I got to see his wee ones WITHOUT CLOTHING EXCEPT FOR DIAPERS rather a lot. While they were slightly grubby and he was permanently exhausted as you might reasonably expect of someone who was working 40 hours every week AND ALSO being the front-line primary-care parent for two children under the age of three, the kiddos were COMPLETELY FREE OF INJURIES, SCRATCHES, OR BRUISES. Not a mark on either of those kids, ever. Not once. They were alert, perky, interacted happily with strangers, grew at an appropriate rate, etc. Was it Aspirational Middle Class Living? No. The housekeeping was... more miss than hit. There was a fair amount of processed food going on. But the kids... the kids were not neglected or abused.)

Anyway, despite New Girlfriend's outstandingly well-thought-out wipes defense (there were indeed four wipes jammed in the child's throat but in the expert opinion of the medical professionals, they were so far down in that the child could not possibly have gotten them there by himself), the police took New Girlfriend (age 31, ex-tenant is 23) into custody for criminal homicide and other charges relating to this crime. Bail was denied, preliminary hearing is June 8.

I hope she rots in hell.