which_chick (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
which_chick) wrote2025-06-26 08:39 am
which_chick) wrote2025-06-26 08:39 am
Entry tags:
Can you just send thoughts?
So DLB (my ongoing dressage clinician of eight years whose compassionate and thoughtful guidance has led us to... the depths of dressage skill that we currently exhibit) is in the hospital with serious pneumonia and she's been intubated. This ain't great. She's, I guess, some form of immuno-fucked-up because of Lyme Disease, so any time she gets sick it's worse than for the average person. So yeah, definitely not great and she's been in hospital for four weeks and she's gotta be over sixty years old. None of that bodes well.
Look. Intubation is a definitely not great thing for someone with a respiratory illness. If the medical folks want to intubate you, your O2 sat is probably shit. To be intubated, you have to be sedated, which further depresses your breathing and stuff. You are FOR REAL sick if you're intubated for a pneumonia thing. (I am not a doctor or a person in the medical field. This is just my take based on what I remember of covid era stuff.)
And my facebook group of lesson barn folks (who all know and clinic with DLB) are all there going "Sending prayers!" and stuff, which I get. Faith can be a source of support for people. Here in Greater Rednecklandia, there are still a fuckton of people who church. The people that I know personally who church are not out there abusing altar boys or tramping upon the lgbtqia+ community or trying to justify racism or exterminate the Palestinians or mucking about with women's healthcare or whatever. They're mostly good folk and they don't let their religion get in the way of being good folk.
I mean, they still endorse and support organized religion, but they themselves are not horrible people. I'm probably splitting hairs here. I expect a more ethically pure and (dare I say) holier-than-thou person would cut bait with anyone who stood behind organized religion in the same way that they'd disassociate from, for example, literal Nazis. But kinda... babies, bathwater.
Also, Lesson Barn Instructor's post about DLB in the hospital, intubated, is not the time or the place to discuss the fact that fellow lesson-barn folk believe in an imaginary bearded vengeance demon. (In my twenties, I would have disagreed -- letting the "sending prayers" commentary slide would have struck me as hypocritical back then. But now, I'm kind of... there's a time and a place for that shit and this ain't it.)
Bonus fact that a lot of atheists don't seem to realize but that has brought me a considerable amount of peace over the years: there's no requirement for what I think of as evangelical atheism. You can just... not believe. You don't have to try to sell not-believing to other people all the time or even any of the time.
But I can't send prayers because that's not a thing I do. I can't SAY I'm sending prayers because I try pretty hard not to lie. So I don't say "sending prayers" but then I worry that my comment looks like I don't care because I'm not sending prayers.
I am probably overthinking this.
At the end, I sent a letter. To be fair, I was going to send a get well card but it turned out that I'd forgotten my wallet that day and thus couldn't buy a card. I wrote a letter instead and mailed it same day because if DLB is actually dying, which it sounds like she is, probably I shouldn't twink around getting organized. There is absolutely nothing sadder than a "get well soon" wish that has to be opened by the heirs of the person you were wishing would get well soon. (Again with the overthinking, for real. It's amazing I get anything done, ever.) I typed it because my handwriting is disgracefully difficult to read. And I explained that in the letter because of course I did.
I don't know why I even try to human, I always do it wrong. But the letter is mailed off and I can't get it and my terribly awkward prose back, so, yeah. Hope she makes it, am worried like hell that she won't.
Look. Intubation is a definitely not great thing for someone with a respiratory illness. If the medical folks want to intubate you, your O2 sat is probably shit. To be intubated, you have to be sedated, which further depresses your breathing and stuff. You are FOR REAL sick if you're intubated for a pneumonia thing. (I am not a doctor or a person in the medical field. This is just my take based on what I remember of covid era stuff.)
And my facebook group of lesson barn folks (who all know and clinic with DLB) are all there going "Sending prayers!" and stuff, which I get. Faith can be a source of support for people. Here in Greater Rednecklandia, there are still a fuckton of people who church. The people that I know personally who church are not out there abusing altar boys or tramping upon the lgbtqia+ community or trying to justify racism or exterminate the Palestinians or mucking about with women's healthcare or whatever. They're mostly good folk and they don't let their religion get in the way of being good folk.
I mean, they still endorse and support organized religion, but they themselves are not horrible people. I'm probably splitting hairs here. I expect a more ethically pure and (dare I say) holier-than-thou person would cut bait with anyone who stood behind organized religion in the same way that they'd disassociate from, for example, literal Nazis. But kinda... babies, bathwater.
Also, Lesson Barn Instructor's post about DLB in the hospital, intubated, is not the time or the place to discuss the fact that fellow lesson-barn folk believe in an imaginary bearded vengeance demon. (In my twenties, I would have disagreed -- letting the "sending prayers" commentary slide would have struck me as hypocritical back then. But now, I'm kind of... there's a time and a place for that shit and this ain't it.)
Bonus fact that a lot of atheists don't seem to realize but that has brought me a considerable amount of peace over the years: there's no requirement for what I think of as evangelical atheism. You can just... not believe. You don't have to try to sell not-believing to other people all the time or even any of the time.
But I can't send prayers because that's not a thing I do. I can't SAY I'm sending prayers because I try pretty hard not to lie. So I don't say "sending prayers" but then I worry that my comment looks like I don't care because I'm not sending prayers.
I am probably overthinking this.
At the end, I sent a letter. To be fair, I was going to send a get well card but it turned out that I'd forgotten my wallet that day and thus couldn't buy a card. I wrote a letter instead and mailed it same day because if DLB is actually dying, which it sounds like she is, probably I shouldn't twink around getting organized. There is absolutely nothing sadder than a "get well soon" wish that has to be opened by the heirs of the person you were wishing would get well soon. (Again with the overthinking, for real. It's amazing I get anything done, ever.) I typed it because my handwriting is disgracefully difficult to read. And I explained that in the letter because of course I did.
I don't know why I even try to human, I always do it wrong. But the letter is mailed off and I can't get it and my terribly awkward prose back, so, yeah. Hope she makes it, am worried like hell that she won't.
no subject
I think sending a letter was a good thing to do. Even typed, I think it's much more personal than a card.
You don't have to send prayers. You sent a letter. {{{hugs}}}
no subject
I usually do default to "sending all good thoughts" or things like that. But cheers to not needing to argue about the prayers thing. I was usually pretty good at not picking fights, but I definitely let it bother me a whole lot more once, and now try to just sort of shrug it off. I am more bothered when people tell me that they'll pray for *me* in some situation, but even that I try to just... take in the spirit they intend it.
I think a letter was a nice thing to send to her.