which_chick (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
which_chick) wrote2005-01-27 07:16 pm
which_chick) wrote2005-01-27 07:16 pm
(no subject)
I don't get this. I mean, the site's in English and there are grammatically correct sentences going on there, but I don't get it.
Is your lovemaking less satisfying because you get too wet during sex? No. I have never, ever felt that I was too wet during sex. Ever. And, y'know, in my answer, I am including those occasions when I was so turned on that I was literally drooling strands (not kidding) of slick that coated the insides of my thighs. Are you people for real with this question?
Do you want better sex without worry or embarrassment? Not that I suffer worry or embarrassment right now, but yeah, I could go for that. Are you offering better sex? You act like you're offering better sex. Why do I feel moved to ask Better for whom? It's probably just my suspicious nature...
Do you want more romance, intimacy and fulfillment? Uhm. Is fulfillment your coded way of saying orgasms? 'Cause I get those fine now, with my embarrassingly soppy-wet cunt.
Makes men feel larger. Gives some men longer lasting, harder erections. No pills required. Hold up there, skipper. What does making men feel larger have to do with me having better sex? This isn't about me, is it... is it? Ah. I see. Gives some men longer lasting, harder erections. I do believe I'm beginning to understand whose better sex this is.
This product quickly solves your excess vaginal wetness problem and lets you enjoy lovemaking again. Okay. That's it. Full disclosure. I have never, ever noticed an inverse relationship between the enjoyability of sex and my relative vaginal wetness. Quite the contrary. I'm pretty sure there's a straight-line positive relationship between the amount of enjoyment I'm getting out of sex and my relative vaginal wetness above the base no-squeaking level that women are equipped with out of the box. (Short form for the science-impaired: The more I'm liking what I'm doing, the more sopping wet my vagina gets.)
While I don't have any statistical data on the subject, I'm reasonably certain that the positive straight-line relationship between those two variables is the case for most normally-functioning women. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.
So. You want to accomplish the following with your shitty website...
1. Convince me that the way my cunt works when I am enjoying sex is wrong, bad, icky, and shameful.
2. Convince me that the important part of sex is men and their cocks*.
3. Convince me of #1 and #2 so strongly that I will buy a product that will make sex for me less enjoyable and less comfortable and less like the sloppy good fun that it is. (I know the truth of this because I've had not-well-lubricated sex in my time. It's not as fun as sloppy wet sex. It isn't. It doesn't exactly *hurt* as long as you're careful to not smash the labia, but it's not as much fun as proper sex.)
*Look. I like men. I like cock. I really do. Honest. However, when you're trying to convince me that my normal, positive sexual response is BAD and when you're trying to sell me a product that will fix this non-problem and the only fucking justification you can give me for fixing the problem is that it will make THE MAN I AM FUCKING happier, I really can't see what reading I'm supposed to get from your text besides "The important part of sex is men and their cocks."
Is your lovemaking less satisfying because you get too wet during sex? No. I have never, ever felt that I was too wet during sex. Ever. And, y'know, in my answer, I am including those occasions when I was so turned on that I was literally drooling strands (not kidding) of slick that coated the insides of my thighs. Are you people for real with this question?
Do you want better sex without worry or embarrassment? Not that I suffer worry or embarrassment right now, but yeah, I could go for that. Are you offering better sex? You act like you're offering better sex. Why do I feel moved to ask Better for whom? It's probably just my suspicious nature...
Do you want more romance, intimacy and fulfillment? Uhm. Is fulfillment your coded way of saying orgasms? 'Cause I get those fine now, with my embarrassingly soppy-wet cunt.
Makes men feel larger. Gives some men longer lasting, harder erections. No pills required. Hold up there, skipper. What does making men feel larger have to do with me having better sex? This isn't about me, is it... is it? Ah. I see. Gives some men longer lasting, harder erections. I do believe I'm beginning to understand whose better sex this is.
This product quickly solves your excess vaginal wetness problem and lets you enjoy lovemaking again. Okay. That's it. Full disclosure. I have never, ever noticed an inverse relationship between the enjoyability of sex and my relative vaginal wetness. Quite the contrary. I'm pretty sure there's a straight-line positive relationship between the amount of enjoyment I'm getting out of sex and my relative vaginal wetness above the base no-squeaking level that women are equipped with out of the box. (Short form for the science-impaired: The more I'm liking what I'm doing, the more sopping wet my vagina gets.)
While I don't have any statistical data on the subject, I'm reasonably certain that the positive straight-line relationship between those two variables is the case for most normally-functioning women. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am.
So. You want to accomplish the following with your shitty website...
1. Convince me that the way my cunt works when I am enjoying sex is wrong, bad, icky, and shameful.
2. Convince me that the important part of sex is men and their cocks*.
3. Convince me of #1 and #2 so strongly that I will buy a product that will make sex for me less enjoyable and less comfortable and less like the sloppy good fun that it is. (I know the truth of this because I've had not-well-lubricated sex in my time. It's not as fun as sloppy wet sex. It isn't. It doesn't exactly *hurt* as long as you're careful to not smash the labia, but it's not as much fun as proper sex.)
*Look. I like men. I like cock. I really do. Honest. However, when you're trying to convince me that my normal, positive sexual response is BAD and when you're trying to sell me a product that will fix this non-problem and the only fucking justification you can give me for fixing the problem is that it will make THE MAN I AM FUCKING happier, I really can't see what reading I'm supposed to get from your text besides "The important part of sex is men and their cocks."
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Do you happen to read zgeek.com, perchance?
Why? I'd never heard of this site till 5 seconds ago, then someone mentioned on the "males faking orgasm thread"... now you're mentioning it..
Either you read the same thread I did, or there's just some meme going around that happened to hit me twice from different directions..
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All I can think is, "ouch!"
There are those who walk amongst us for whom the existence of Astroglide stands as a monumentous event in human history. I'm just sayin'.
This Quik-Dri for the coochie? It boggles my poor, aching mind.
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Anyway, this delightful product is plant-based. The website says it's made out of "maize" (I am reminded of the Land O' Lakes commercials of my youth -- what your people call corn) which says to me "cornstarch" as was so capably pointed out by the (amazingly blunt!) folks over at zgeek. Cornstarch is not something I've ever contemplated putting in my vagina. Yick.
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