which_chick (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
which_chick) wrote2008-07-05 10:55 pm
which_chick) wrote2008-07-05 10:55 pm
(no subject)
I was entirely nonproductive today, spent the bulk of the day napping and reading trashy elf porn books (yes, indeed, those trashy elf porn books that I have previously discussed here and elsewhere). I had originally planned to do horse stuff but it turns out that staying up late and drinking and then sleeping fitfully and then getting up at 5:30 AM to drive three hours home, well, it's not good for productive. Perhaps tomorrow.
Anyway, I can't sleep now because the fuckwits in the valley are setting off fireworks. I expect it's too much to hope for that they might injure themselves in the pursuit of pyrotechnics so that I would be spared this fucking bullshit next year. Honestly, it's distracting as all hell.
Further souring my mood is the fact that I have located (and read) three of the four elf porn books I have at my disposal. (They are not, as a rule, particularly deep or boundary-pushing reads. The general thrust of them is somewhere on the pretending-to-have-plot porn spectrum and, as such, they're light reading that I can slurp down at a rate of three or four of them in a day.) This is a problem because the missing one is in the middle of what we would be calling the story arc, if there were plot. Since there isn't really plot to break up all the fucking, the missing book is in the middle of the book issuing sequence. This is annoying because in book 4 there are now characters that I can't accurately imagine due to them not having been appropriately described with the degree of loving and enthusiastic detail that I usually only ever see in fanfic. (All snark aside, mad propz to Ms. Hamilton for finding a way to get paid for what a surprising number of kinky women do for free.)
So I'm here with a rather incomplete set of elf porn books (If, having heard the phrase "elf porn book", you really feel you must avail yourself of this sort of reading material, the books start with A Stroke of Midnight and carry on through things like A Caress of Twilight and A Kiss of Shadows and Seduced by Moonlight. There are probably more, now. The titles are somewhat misleading because there is nobody named "Midnight" or "Shadows" or "Twilight" or whatever in the damn books. These are titles for ambience and the ONLY reason they do not include the word darkling is that the author has an editor who at least tries to make her use real words. The books are written by someone calling herself Laurell K. Hamilton and the fucking centers around one Meredith, Elf Princess (sorta) With a Destiny. I can't in good faith tell anyone to actually read these because they aren't in any way the sort of literature that will improve your mind, teach you something about the nature of men, or expand your general understanding of (a) humans or (b) elves. Real elves, if they fuck this much, are probably more discreet about it. Probably also they're discrete in their conjunctions instead of acting like a bunch of red-sided garter snakes. At least, I certainly hope so. The red-sided garter snake image isn't really working for me at all. ) which I have been reading off and on throughout the day because I wanted porn and felt too lazy to troll for fanfic. This isn't good porn, by any stretch of the imagination, but it works as porn in much the same way that Keystone Light works as a beer.
Anyway, I can't sleep now because the fuckwits in the valley are setting off fireworks. I expect it's too much to hope for that they might injure themselves in the pursuit of pyrotechnics so that I would be spared this fucking bullshit next year. Honestly, it's distracting as all hell.
Further souring my mood is the fact that I have located (and read) three of the four elf porn books I have at my disposal. (They are not, as a rule, particularly deep or boundary-pushing reads. The general thrust of them is somewhere on the pretending-to-have-plot porn spectrum and, as such, they're light reading that I can slurp down at a rate of three or four of them in a day.) This is a problem because the missing one is in the middle of what we would be calling the story arc, if there were plot. Since there isn't really plot to break up all the fucking, the missing book is in the middle of the book issuing sequence. This is annoying because in book 4 there are now characters that I can't accurately imagine due to them not having been appropriately described with the degree of loving and enthusiastic detail that I usually only ever see in fanfic. (All snark aside, mad propz to Ms. Hamilton for finding a way to get paid for what a surprising number of kinky women do for free.)
So I'm here with a rather incomplete set of elf porn books (If, having heard the phrase "elf porn book", you really feel you must avail yourself of this sort of reading material, the books start with A Stroke of Midnight and carry on through things like A Caress of Twilight and A Kiss of Shadows and Seduced by Moonlight. There are probably more, now. The titles are somewhat misleading because there is nobody named "Midnight" or "Shadows" or "Twilight" or whatever in the damn books. These are titles for ambience and the ONLY reason they do not include the word darkling is that the author has an editor who at least tries to make her use real words. The books are written by someone calling herself Laurell K. Hamilton and the fucking centers around one Meredith, Elf Princess (sorta) With a Destiny. I can't in good faith tell anyone to actually read these because they aren't in any way the sort of literature that will improve your mind, teach you something about the nature of men, or expand your general understanding of (a) humans or (b) elves. Real elves, if they fuck this much, are probably more discreet about it. Probably also they're discrete in their conjunctions instead of acting like a bunch of red-sided garter snakes. At least, I certainly hope so. The red-sided garter snake image isn't really working for me at all. ) which I have been reading off and on throughout the day because I wanted porn and felt too lazy to troll for fanfic. This isn't good porn, by any stretch of the imagination, but it works as porn in much the same way that Keystone Light works as a beer.
no subject
(And what the heck were you doing up at 11 PM? You're never awake that late...)
no subject
It's rare, but it has been known to happen.