which_chick (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
which_chick) wrote2017-10-31 08:51 am
which_chick) wrote2017-10-31 08:51 am
(no subject)
Fiction has always been hard for me. I can do snark with the best of them and I like nonfiction because I know where I stand with that. But fiction… fiction is a whitewater river whose pools of detailed description and rocks of excessive handholding conspire to bury the kayak of my narrative, swirling it round and round under the smooth surface of the pool until the narrative gasps helplessly for air in
obedience to a compulsion stronger than the conscious mind and dies with a lungful of river water. Fiction is not my friend. Take, for example, a manor house library in regency-era Kent. In November, at the close of day. Tall windows along one side, to let in the light, yes. But you have other things to consider.
1. What time of day does it start to get dark? What time would supper happen?
2. Was there daylight savings time in 1819?
3. What sources of artificial light did people use then? What would be likely in a manor house in Kent?
3a. What furniture (besides book shelving) is in the library? You need something to put the candles on, don’t you? Are chairs upholstered or leather?
4. What kinds of Adult Beverages would be drunk by rich old men then? Were there brand names?
5. What kinds of income might a rich old man in a manor house have?
6. If such a man as this has a factotum manservant, what title would he have? It’s not a butler (runs the house but does not personally and particularly see to the master’s needs) and it’s not a valet (sees to the master’s wardrobe, tailor, and overall sartorial happiness). So what the fuck is this man called and how does he fit into the household staff? (The correct answer is probably ‘Steward’)
Or say you’re having the valet undress your hero. Obviously, some description of hero’s physique is important for the storyline – he’s an object of lust – but how exactly were the trousers made? (Fall-front, two or four buttons holding the flap to the waist, likely tight-fitted to the legs with buttons going down the sides of the
calves to mid-calf or, if for riding, tight-fitted to mid-calf and then slit to allow for feet, said slit bottoms hidden in the riding boots. Gentlemen’s breeches in the late Georgian and early regency era were quite snugly-fitted and the general outline of one’s junk was visible through one’s pants. (I have portraits to back this up, btw.) What fabrics were used? Boots, tell me about them. Socks? Did they
wear socks? What did underwear look like?
Shirts. Our hero wears a shirt. Does it unbutton completely down the front and hang open, showing us his nicely-muscled chest with a patch of fur stretching between his pecs so that his valet can stand behind him and take it off his shoulders while inquiring politely about why he seems troubled? NO. No, it does not, because shirts of that era didn’t unbutton all the way. They unbuttoned a little, like a rugby shirt or something, and then were taken off over the head.
And they had cuffs that required links and didn’t come with their own buttons. So our hero is there looking rattled and his valet CAN NOT stand behind him to remove his shirt, giving him an opportunity to confess his worries without making eye contact. He must, instead, ruck the shirt over his shoulders and draw it off over his head.
While this makes his shoulders bunch and flex attractively in the candlelight, it isn’t going to make a convenient moment for him to spill to to his valet. Shirts are worn with cravats, separate pieces of fabric that look like hunting-clothing Stock Ties, and these are wrapped and tied around the neck.
Our hero is an avid horseman and foxhunter, appropriate pursuits for an earl with a country estate. When does foxhunting start in England in the regency era? Did they even HAVE foxhunting back then? (Yes.) How did it go? The hero needs a horse. FINALLY, something I fucking know about already!!! The heroine needs a horse. Wait, didn’t they ride sidesaddle? Fuck. I know fuck-all about sidesaddle. (research, research, research)
OTHER PEOPLE CAN WRITE PRETEND SHIT AND NOT DROWN THE GODDAMN NARRATIVE IN THE FUCKING DETAILS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????
obedience to a compulsion stronger than the conscious mind and dies with a lungful of river water. Fiction is not my friend. Take, for example, a manor house library in regency-era Kent. In November, at the close of day. Tall windows along one side, to let in the light, yes. But you have other things to consider.
1. What time of day does it start to get dark? What time would supper happen?
2. Was there daylight savings time in 1819?
3. What sources of artificial light did people use then? What would be likely in a manor house in Kent?
3a. What furniture (besides book shelving) is in the library? You need something to put the candles on, don’t you? Are chairs upholstered or leather?
4. What kinds of Adult Beverages would be drunk by rich old men then? Were there brand names?
5. What kinds of income might a rich old man in a manor house have?
6. If such a man as this has a factotum manservant, what title would he have? It’s not a butler (runs the house but does not personally and particularly see to the master’s needs) and it’s not a valet (sees to the master’s wardrobe, tailor, and overall sartorial happiness). So what the fuck is this man called and how does he fit into the household staff? (The correct answer is probably ‘Steward’)
Or say you’re having the valet undress your hero. Obviously, some description of hero’s physique is important for the storyline – he’s an object of lust – but how exactly were the trousers made? (Fall-front, two or four buttons holding the flap to the waist, likely tight-fitted to the legs with buttons going down the sides of the
calves to mid-calf or, if for riding, tight-fitted to mid-calf and then slit to allow for feet, said slit bottoms hidden in the riding boots. Gentlemen’s breeches in the late Georgian and early regency era were quite snugly-fitted and the general outline of one’s junk was visible through one’s pants. (I have portraits to back this up, btw.) What fabrics were used? Boots, tell me about them. Socks? Did they
wear socks? What did underwear look like?
Shirts. Our hero wears a shirt. Does it unbutton completely down the front and hang open, showing us his nicely-muscled chest with a patch of fur stretching between his pecs so that his valet can stand behind him and take it off his shoulders while inquiring politely about why he seems troubled? NO. No, it does not, because shirts of that era didn’t unbutton all the way. They unbuttoned a little, like a rugby shirt or something, and then were taken off over the head.
And they had cuffs that required links and didn’t come with their own buttons. So our hero is there looking rattled and his valet CAN NOT stand behind him to remove his shirt, giving him an opportunity to confess his worries without making eye contact. He must, instead, ruck the shirt over his shoulders and draw it off over his head.
While this makes his shoulders bunch and flex attractively in the candlelight, it isn’t going to make a convenient moment for him to spill to to his valet. Shirts are worn with cravats, separate pieces of fabric that look like hunting-clothing Stock Ties, and these are wrapped and tied around the neck.
Our hero is an avid horseman and foxhunter, appropriate pursuits for an earl with a country estate. When does foxhunting start in England in the regency era? Did they even HAVE foxhunting back then? (Yes.) How did it go? The hero needs a horse. FINALLY, something I fucking know about already!!! The heroine needs a horse. Wait, didn’t they ride sidesaddle? Fuck. I know fuck-all about sidesaddle. (research, research, research)
OTHER PEOPLE CAN WRITE PRETEND SHIT AND NOT DROWN THE GODDAMN NARRATIVE IN THE FUCKING DETAILS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????