Only the cabinet doors are turquoise. The cabinets themselves are a salmon-tinged *flat* beige paint that was sloppily done (the turquoise wasn't all that impressively painted, either). Full coverage is lacking around the hinges and stuff. There are brushmarks and a few runs in both the cabinet doors and on the cabinets themselves. There are rather a lot of yellow-brown grease splotches on the cabinetry, density of same increasing as your gaze nears the stove, and overlaying all of this earthly delight is a fine film of tar (entire household smoked, except the dog) that gives everything a yellowish-brown tinge of poverty and an absolutely appalling tactile sensation.

I will try to be more thorough in my descriptions in the future. :P

Also, thought about this today while scrubbing off the grease/tar (you can't paint over it easily -- it does strange things to the paint -- but it comes off fairly well with 409 and a green scrubby): Swift's Lady's Dressing Room makes a lot more sense when you've spent some time cleaning up apartments after the tenants have left.